Is he just curious ?

[BreArna]

Hey everyone

I need some advice about something thats happening with my boyfriends 16yrld nephew.. Well one of his brothers whos 18 and a friend were looking through the computer history and found alot of gay sites that had been searched for and the sites had been looked at all the way through, enlarging pictures etc of gay men .. so this 16yr old is pretty interested in looking at men and stuff.. Is this normal ? Also ive always thought he was alittle different to his brothers and friends, but could never pick what it was.. now everything hes done and says seems to fit with what hes looking at now and im really worried.. So is his uncle, and his brother was pretty shocked. Do any of you think its something to worry about ? or just a phase or something ? If he was gay im not sure if his family would except it and theyd make his life hard i think.. hes a really great kid and i know itd be alrite with it and support him but i guess its different cos im not a guy.. Any advice would be appreciated

[magda]

It could be anything. I doubt there's anything you can do about it but the best thing surely is to let him figure it out in his own time. It sucks that his brother did that and then told everyone. I mean, at 16 the kid probably doesn't even know himself now here everyone is speculating about it. If you have any weight on what happens, which I'm guessing you don't, I would push for leaving him be all around.

 

Lesbian porn is hot to me, and I'm straight as an arrow. My cousin has looked at gay porn on my computer I discovered, and he seems straight enough - has a girlfriend anyway. Many homosexuals don't realize their orientation until early twenties if not later. So freaking out about it is really premature and honestly, being 16 is hard enough when you're not worried about stuff like that. Poor kid.

[BreArna]

Yeah i feel bad for him.. with us all speculating but its not something i can jus put out of my mind cos i care about him alot... My boyfriend wanted to tell his brother about what we know about his son but i told him not to because its too early and if anything comes of it then its up to him to tell people or not.. I cant see his brother confronting him about it because hes too scared that he will admit it.. I talked to the friend that was checking out the history and told him to keep quiet because it could jus well be curiosity.. I know what u mean about lesbian porn, but i jus thought straight guys were different, like wouldnt go near gay porn etc

[amaranth_04]

Hi there,

 

It could be a phase.. he's growing and naturally curious about the changes he is experiencing so it would make sense that he's trying to see pics of other men, to compare, relate to.

 

Besides the physical curiosity, he's most likely sexually curious, too. He would have heard about homosexuality and may have wanted information, much like wanting heterosexual information etc, and you ''caught'' him while he was finding out about the former.

 

I get what you're saying about going the one step further enlarging pics.. this could be just wanting a closer look out of curiosity. However, I can't really tell you where that curiosity is stemming from. If your feelings are just based on him not going out with other girls, that could be 'cos he's just shy. Your feelings could be accurate in the sense that he's curious about homosexuality but it's harder to gauge where that curiosity is coming from... a natural curiosity, or a ''specialized'' one.. only way to be sure is to ask him.

 

However, I don't recommend asking him, at least not at this point. I'd suggest approaching it delicately when/if he broaches the subject... or rather in the case of his family, showing an openness about it to give him the confidence to broach the subject.

[bleeder]

A good point there, Amaranth.

 

 

Cornering him now is not a wise idea for he might just be exploring his sexuality. Wait it out and see if he does broach about the subject.

[magda]

Actually it will make him quite 'different' from the straight people in his family. Wishful thinking doesn't help anything in this case - it's not easy to be gay for most people - it's not easy to be different.