ex's birthday is tomorrow, should i wish a happy bday after all this?

[Hannah13]

My ex and I dated for years. Towards the end he started being unfaithful, though I'm not sure physical cheating occurred. We've been broken up for a year and a half, he now has a new gf who he has been dating for 6 months.he recently came home from college on spring break and said he wanted to see me, and I said ok. Partly cause I wanted to see him to talk, and part cause I'm still in love w him

Well, we talked about. He brought up sex and said since his gf didn't live in state, he hasn't had it for 3-4 months. He then came onto me, and being stupid I gave in. Afterwards I bawled on the way home, I felt like those girls I hate so much. My will power to stop him wasn't there.

He texted me ONCE after that. Once. I was hurt but I knew it was for the best since we had screwed up so bad

Now, his bday is tomorrow. For 5 yrs I've wished him a happy one even if we weren't dating at the time, but this year, idk. I feel stupid and awful and I'm so mad at him as well as myself. Should I txt him happybday? I'm thinking no, but I need some advice

[sidehop]

It may hurt not to send him a text but in a long run it will be better to cut all contact. You're only giving into his wants. Not yours. We tend to hold onto things that were good but that's the past. If you want to move on even if you still love him, all contact should stop.

[sweeth tooth cadet]

dont do it. All you will be doing is maintaining that attachment to him and you will also be giving up any strength and progress you have achieved. Just ask your self if you are prepared or ready for whatever his response is or if he simply doesnt even respond. You will feel worse to be honest if you dont even get a simple thank you.

[adamt]

it was my exes birthdsay a week after we broke up, i felt i had to send her a card. in the bigger picture it made no difference. sending a card will not be the deciding factor on them changing their mind. dont do it! no point! let him wonder why you never sent a card(that's if he is bothered anymore) rather than you wonder if he will respond to the card

[KittyBoo]

Absolutely do not do it!

 

He was unfaithful before to you, now he has been unfaithful on her with you. He's only going to cause you horrible pain. Don't walk away from him - RUN! You deserve a lot better than what he will ever give you.

[tg31]

Hannah,

Absolutely not sweetie. Reading your post I saw a lot of myself in you. Although I am a male and my hurt and depression is coming from a different type of an ended relationship, I felt what you were writing. Like you, I have been unhealthy for months over someone who doesn't get to validate me. I would love for both of us to do the following, if only for 30 days and see where we are at in a months time. First have no contact at all. Only focus on yourself. Get healthy both physically and mentally. It hurts so bad, I know and so do so many on ENA do, but we have to stop validating ourselves through other people....it's just plain dumb. I think, well I know for myself, I haven't loved myself lately. That's gonna stop now. If you ever need to PM feel free to do so. Good luck to you....but I have a feeling if you start working on yourself on a daily basis you're not gonna need luck!!