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Inexperienced GF in LD Relationship

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Hi all,


I just wanted to thank you in advance for offering your time and advice.


So I recently met with a girl who lives 3,000 miles away from me, we were set up by our parents and spoke on the phone for 2 months before finally meeting in person. The 1 week trip over there was absolutely phenomenal and we had a fantastic time. Now we're officially in a relationship (we changed our facebook status yesterday). We recently just started saying I love you to each other. I think she's a little bit more hesitant to say it compared to me. I said it first two days ago and she didn't say it back. When I said it yesterday she responded and said it back to me. I called her up yesterday randomly to tell her that i loved her and that was the only reason for the call. she thought that it was a joke and initially started laughing. i couldn't appreciate this at first and was upset. i semi-jokingly said that that was the last time i was going to call her for the sole purpose of telling that i loved her and that i was surprised by her reaction to my trying to do something nice for her. i was being a bit dramatic given that i was taken aback by her reaction. later in the conversation i told her that i was still going to call her just to tell her that i loved her and she made me promise that. thereafter she texted me apologizing saying that she was sorry and to bear with her because she wasn't very good in relationships (she's never had a bf before, i've been in 3 relationships in the past). i called her back up saying that it was all right and to try to use positive feedback to try to shape my behavior. i felt like i went on for too long about that so afterwards i texted her that she was great in relationships and i really felt that she cared for me in our relationship. then i texted her that i was sorry for going on so long.


first off, i feel like i trip too much over little things some times and it's made harder given the fact that it's long distance. i'm still a little bit concerned about our little argument yesterday but feel like i shouldn't be. any strategies or tips for coping with this?


second, i feel like historically i have been much more into her and much more expressive of my feelings in terms of calling her, texting her, giving her compliments. i feel like this is driven by the fact that she is much busier than me and more inexperienced in relationships. should i hold back a little bit more so that our calling each other is more balanced and giving compliments and saying i love you to each other is more balanced to give her time to develop her feelings and not make her feel rushed or should i express what i'm feeling at the moment? just to give you some background on this comments, before my trip i was doing almost all of the initiating in terms of calling and texting (i held back a few times but she didn't initiate due to her intensely busy schedule, she's in dental school). after the trip i feel like she's much better in terms of responding and i feel like she's a lot more into me, but i feel like i still might need more than her from a confirmation that she still likes me / is into me and that's probably why i've already (only 3 days after the trip) started calling her / texting more than she's done with me. any thoughts?


thanks for all your help guys!!

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dude youre thinking too much. you should be able to say all the love and wonderful things you want without fear of consequence. thats the beauty of love. when you start to over think, then you start to pester your partner and if they dont respond in the exact way you want, youll end up being disappointed. it also appears like you are trying to take too much responsibility for her. this can lead to you undervaluing her strength as an independent woman and cause suffocation. if there can be any advice i could give anyone whos falling in love, it is to enjoy the bliss of it. the fact that you dont have to worry because youre in love and youre invincible. im not suggesting you become ignorant. just take a big breath and smile at what you have.

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