My ex's family are my Friends...

[ev1782]

Specifically,, her brother. He's a great friend of mine and him and his wife were friends of mine before i started dating his sister.... Now his sister broke up with me,,, cause she's young, wants to be single, and bla bla bla... mostly a GIG... but with that said,, she's moved out of her parents house, living with her other sister and best friend so she even her own FAMILY doesn't keep in contact with her much lately either.

 

SHe broke up with me, and put distance between herself and family. She's miss independent all of a sudden.

 

Now my question is her brother is my friend but she is really close to him (despite not being in contact with him as much lately) Me and her bro share a lot of things in common, specifically music and we were friends before i went out with his sis as i said. Regardless, do you think i should give her family space as well, specifcally her brother?

 

I figure eventually they will mention to her that they have seen me and that i have been hanging out with them (her bro and sis-inlaw.) Ultimately,,, i wanna disappear from her life altogether cause i dnt want her keeping tabs on me, i dont want her feeling uncomfortable that her famliy still loves me and calls me to hang out, i dont want her to think im trying to hold on by having this frienship with her family and thirdly, hanging with them reminds me of her. How should i approach this?

[Brigadoon]

Stop thinking about what she thinks and just do what feels right with regards to them. I followed my own advice and I get on great with my ex's family and they treat my son and I like family despite there being no blood connection there. Incidentally my ex doesn't actually mind about this as I found out recently so don't cut your nose off to spite your face and end up finding out she wouldn't have been bothered anyway.

Be patient and flexible and be prepared for it to be quite weird at the start but if you can push through that you'll be fine, and I think the fact that you were prepared to stick around despite the breakup shows them that you're an emotionally mature person who genuinely likes/cares about them.

Good luck

[Catdancer]

I fall into this too. My ex's sister and her husband are great friends and they are the god parents of my son. I still call them, they call me, we hang out, etc..the only difference is that we dont talk about my ex. It's like an out of bounds subject, so we simply dont talk about it and we enjoy our time together. I suggest you do the same.

[ev1782]

I fall into this too. My ex's sister and her husband are great friends and they are the god parents of my son. I still call them, they call me, we hang out, etc..the only difference is that we dont talk about my ex. It's like an out of bounds subject, so we simply dont talk about it and we enjoy our time together. I suggest you do the same.

 

You know thats EXACTLY our relationship... they do not mention her, and i do not bring her up. We just kept on having our normal relationship... Only once did his wife ask me,,, so are you guys working things out or what? and we spoke about it,,

 

told her that i understand why she broke up with me. Ive been where she's at. Im not bitter or mad at her, and im just giving her the space she wants and moving on. While at first i didn't realize it but this was a GOOD thing in my life cause ive grown and learned a lot about myself and things i need to change. Maybe one day she'll want to come back but it might be too late... but if not i just wish her the best.

 

She gave me some words of encouragement.. Said she was happy to see me with my mindset that i have and that hopefully we will get back together and if not that i find someone that makes me happy.

 

Its a really great relationship i have with them, i dont wanna lose it either, but maybe for the next few weeks im going to make myself busy and make myself a little scarce cause as i said, even though we have our personal friendship,,, hanging with them reminds me of her sometimes and im trying to get her out of my mind completely.

[Catdancer]

Hanging with them reminds me of my ex too, and it hurts. I know. It's ok to take some time to yourself, but be sure to tell them what you are doing. The last thing you want is for your friends to think you bailed on them.

[newlife24]

I like this. It helps me feel like maybe I am overreacting to getting rid of my exs brother gf. we have been friends as long as he and i were together and I would miss her terribly.

I think i just need my space for awhile.