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Approaching a girl without freaking her out


mfan

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I was reading an article about how to approach and make friends with a stranger's dog, and I realized a lot of those tips actually are also critical when approaching a new girl also. This advice is not for everybody, but for those men who find they often "freak out" a girl when they approach her, I think the techniques are probably similar. P.s. I am trying not to objectify women by this, and I apologize if it sounds like I am saying all women act a particular way. These are general concepts that work in a lot of social situations, not just for dogs, and we often forget that we should keep humans' instincts in mind also.

 

1. Don't stare directly at the woman. It makes dogs uncomfortable, it makes people uncomfortable too. Blink - more often than usual, in fact. Look to the side and show your profile. It gives the woman the chance to see you from different viewpoints and get used to you and make sure you're at least physically normal.

 

2. Don't make sudden movements or approach too fast. (I think this is why men "amble" over so "smoothly" before they pick up a girl at a bar). Gives the woman time to get used to him and prepare a response, so she's not nervous and taken off guard. Don't approach a girl from the back or "sidle up" and suddenly be there. Make sure she sees you approaching.

 

3. Get approval from her friends. If she's with friends, talk to them too. If there's one particularly social friend, talk to her a bit because the others might look up to her opinions. (The corresponding "dog" rule was "ask the owner's permission before petting the dog"). When the dog's owner approves of you, the dog picks up on those cues and relaxes; similarly, don't just talk to the one girl; allow her friends to get used to you too because they'll signal their acceptance to your target girl.

 

4. Don't touch her until you are sure she is used to you.

 

5. Generally, let the woman make friends with you rather than forcing your conversation onto her.

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