I want her back, how can I do it? it hurts

[whadyousay]

She broke up with me about two months ago right before our one year, she said that I wasn't what she wanted that she doesnt know how I can live without reading books, she said she doesnt like how im immature sometimes, she said that shes going to go the france one day soon for school and she cant do LDR and that she didn't want a LTR to start with, also she was upset that i couldnt take her out anymore because of my job loss. for two months we still visited each other and slept in the same bed, for the first week we still had sex but after it was "get off me or you're going to the couch" then I gave up, stopped taking 60% of her phone calls, 3 nights i came to see her she heard my bike and rushed downstairs before I came up, I just came into town so i asked her for a place to stay in her spare room and she said no, she always said yes to that, so I asked if i could come up and visit and she said no i have a friend up stairs. she said it wasnt what i thought that they were just friends and playing video games I just talked with her about it and she said I couldnt stay because he stayed in that room but I was in her housewhen I was talking to her and the sheets were still exactly the way i left them. she said its too late for us. but i cant except that, I told her i can change. im really on the edge and drinking alot, im in love with her but shes not in love with me. id rather die then lose her. please help me.

[Tony01]

hey

 

i know you wont want to hear this but i honestly dont think you will be able to get ther back i dont want to sound like a jerk but thats what i think from reading this.

 

i think you should try and move on because if you keep persuing this you might end up more hurt

 

im really sorry its not what you wanna hear but i hope i helped in some way

 

sorry

[Animelover6764]

Calm down for a sec man

 

Give her some space and work on yourself and prove her you can change by showing it

 

Actions speak louder than words and i hope this helps

 

good luck man

[whadyousay]

I did give her some space but she just found someone else to hang out with. she says we can be friends and she still cares but it hurts and i cant do that. shes my whole world i would do anything for her

[Animelover6764]

I did give her some space but she just found someone else to hang out with. she says we can be friends and she still cares but it hurts and i cant do that. shes my whole world i would do anything for her

 

 

 

look at this and

 

 

[whadyousay]

hey

 

i know you wont want to hear this but i honestly dont think you will be able to get ther back i dont want to sound like a jerk but thats what i think from reading this.

 

i think you should try and move on because if you keep persuing this you might end up more hurt

 

im really sorry its not what you wanna hear but i hope i helped in some way

 

sorry

she just asked me to feed her turtle and take out her trash while shes away for easter and i asked her what i would get, she asked me what i want and i said to have another chance to make you a steak dinner and ill even pay and she told me she has to pick the night that i cant just pop in when I want so i think she really is seeing this guy. im really close to trying the 30 day challenge. we have broken up for 4 months, i didnt think it was that long but it feels like forever

[Animelover6764]

she just asked me to feed her turtle and take out her trash while shes away for easter and i asked her what i would get, she asked me what i want and i said to have another chance to make you a steak dinner and ill even pay and she told me she has to pick the night that i cant just pop in when I want so i think she really is seeing this guy. im really close to trying the 30 day challenge. we have broken up for 4 months, i didnt think it was that long but it feels like forever

 

just read the forums i gave you

 

you'll be alright buddy

[whadyousay]

just read the forums i gave you

 

you'll be alright buddy

 

I got it out of her, that night i showed up she had made him officially her boy friend, every since she met him which was probably around a month ago shes treated me like crap. I cant get her out of my head i reallys hurts, i keep picturing him with her * * * * ing her and him go up the stairs to her house. i truly love her so i let her go last night. i really hope the 30day challenge works. I know theres other people out there but theres only one Resa. do you think she'll come back? she said she still cares about me. i did 3x the speed limit to come home to drink and cut away my pain. she told me she hopes i can forgive her

[Animelover6764]

I got it out of her, that night i showed up she had made him officially her boy friend, every since she met him which was probably around a month ago shes treated me like crap. I cant get her out of my head i reallys hurts, i keep picturing him with her * * * * ing her and him go up the stairs to her house. i truly love her so i let her go last night. i really hope the 30day challenge works. I know theres other people out there but theres only one Resa. do you think she'll come back? she said she still cares about me. i did 3x the speed limit to come home to drink and cut away my pain. she told me she hopes i can forgive her

 

you'll heal man

 

don't worry

 

do the 30 day challenge

 

time to heal

[dre760]

Hey man. Sorry to hear what your going through but you have to know that anything you do now to try and get her back will only ruin your chances for the future. Now is the time to sit back, Do nothing, and just worry about yourself.

 

Right now she has you exactly where she wants you. You have made it clear to her that you will always be there for her and that she can come back to you whenever she wants. I know this is always seems like the best thing to do but believe me, its not.

she now has an option between you and this new Guy. She knows she can have you whenever she wants so its obvious she is going to try things out with this new Guy. She has you in her back pocket and she is going to play it safe.

 

The very first step you should be taking is healing yourself. In order to fully heal, you need to cut her out of your life completely. You will never heal if she she is still around. Do not be her friend, do not call, text, check her Facebook, ect.. ignore her calls and texts. If she asks you Whatsup just simply tell her that you can't be her friend anytime soon until you are completely over her. Now do not look at this as a way to get her back. If you do you are just setting yourself up for more pain in the future. Do not set a limit on how long you go NC for. Don't say, "in 30 days I will contact her." This sort of thinking will set you up to hurt again and again. Take things day by day and just worry about yourself.

 

In order to love someone, you must be able to let them go. If you truly love her, you will let her go and be glad that she has found happiness.

[whadyousay]

You're right, you really, are I do want her to be happy. I guess she wasn't happy enough with me. Even though her doctor parents hated me I wanted to be in their family one day and I felt right. One day i'll heal and I would like to see how far shes made it in her life. Maybe its all of everyone's advice or the half hour I spent crying my eyes out to my counselor but I think im starting to feel better. Im really glad I found this website, I really needed someone to help me. What should I do now? Should I try and visit some friends? Should I go for a rebound? I was reading about that but it seems like id be wasting my time if im getting my ex out of the picture.

[dre760]

You're right, you really, are I do want her to be happy. I guess she wasn't happy enough with me. Even though her doctor parents hated me I wanted to be in their family one day and I felt right. One day i'll heal and I would like to see how far shes made it in her life. Maybe its all of everyone's advice or the half hour I spent crying my eyes out to my counselor but I think im starting to feel better. Im really glad I found this website, I really needed someone to help me. What should I do now? Should I try and visit some friends? Should I go for a rebound? I was reading about that but it seems like id be wasting my time if im getting my ex out of the picture.

 

You should be surrounding yourself with friends. Go out. Have a good time and try your best not to bring her up and not to think about her. This will be hard at first but believe me it will get easier.

 

If you can, go on vacation. I just recently got back from vacation where I went out every night, snowboarded everyday, and just met a bunch of new people. I can't even begin to explain how much better I am feeling about my situation.

 

I wouldn't be looking for a rebound girl just as a way to her back. This will just make things worse and bringing someone else into the picture just means more drama. I'm not saying u shouldn't be dating people. I'm just saying you shouldn't be doing it to make her jealous or to try and get her back.

 

definitely keep your eyes open though. You never know who you might run into. You might even meet someone waay better then your ex!

[whadyousay]

I know its long but if I got get some thoughts on this it would be good, I can handle any thing right now i feel really good and im moving on. I just cant help but wonder

 

I forgot to mention I told her at about a month after we broke up (4 months ago) that I wanted her back and didnt want to move on, she told me to get a rebound. I just screamed my head off at her in a thread she will never see but now I feel like I can accept a solid fact. At this point is there any possible way I can ever get this girl back? I would be willing to wait maybe even a few years for her. I cant think if theres anything I left out besides.

 

I bothered her for 3 months straight after we broke up for kisses, hugs, cuddling and sex and its really p/oed her and she gave in a few times, she was even soo horny once she had sex with me even though I was crying in her bed but it wasnt that easy for me to be just cut off like that, we made love as much as 5 times in one day and everyday when we first met. It was like that for atleast 2 months.

 

Her ex boy friend hurt her, she told me before and I promised her id never do what he did to her but I dont remember what it was, I know he left her behind, went to Princeton she told me a few months ago that she heard he was funking out. She promised me she didnt want him back, I remember about six months ago watching her cry because she found one of his love notes to her, she threw it away, I tried getting her out of the house but I had no effect. She has a pic of him in her living room with her family and friends in france, she promised me it was there only for the memories of her friends that she doesn't talk to anymore, So I do know what he looks like. Could she be getting back with the ex? she has slept with this new guy but she slept with me on the first date, we really hit it off, seemed perfect both loving and happy enjoyed the same things.

[Twist82]

I did give her some space but she just found someone else to hang out with. she says we can be friends and she still cares but it hurts and i cant do that. shes my whole world i would do anything for her

 

That statement is contradictory.

 

Look your never going to be able to force this girl back to you. There is no way to persuade a female to love you. You have to respect that all she wants right now is friendship. If you really love her you have to show her that you'll be supportive and understanding of her decisions. If you can't do that, well then there will never be a chance of getting back together with her. You might as well move on.

 

My advice...start working on things that are beneficial to you. DO things that make you happy. Stay positive, and be supportive of her if she needs it. Search your soul and find out the things that led to your break-up, then proceed to work on those shortcomings. Whether you get back together with her or another girl, you'll be in a much better position to make the relationship work.

[whadyousay]

She keeps trying to talk to me, she said its killing her not being able to talk to me. Iv been trying NC but I keep reading her messages, I might change my number. I demanded that she stop talking to me and delete my number but I got a reply saying "you know how well ordering me around works". Shes still with her rebound but I think she will try and come back. I think I want to move on, after thinking of all the bad things she has done to me im not sure I want her back. I still love her and she is a good soul. I think about her every night and worry about him treating her bad. Today I actually im thinking that im going to be ok

Im strict NC from now until I heal completely. No more weak moments.

[GenoGeno]

Right on! good to hear!

[whadyousay]

NC works. But I gave in after over two months and starting talking to her again It went very well, we discussed many more things that bothered us in the relationship, we went out to dinner and a park to watch the ducks swim, we discussed how she wants to leave her rebound but fears that she'll loose the job his mother got her (his mother is the manager) we talked about if we were to get back together it would be more serous and have more fun, I just helped her move yesterday and after we agreed that since shes still with him i cant be around because it hurts me and that I cant be her friend, we hugged for a rather long time and kissed a few times before we split ways. thank you guys for helping me in the time i needed it, iv went through a great deal of depression but today, even though shes not with me and may or may not come back, I feel a lot better