I'm a 25 year old guy... and still a virgin!

[Panther_Dude]

You'll lose it when you're ready and not any sooner. But, I would recommend that you do not mention it. There's nothing wrong with virginity, but many people can't stand virgins that constantly shove down everyone's throats. Don't promote it and just simply be social and friendly. When it's meant to be, you'll be fine.

 

 

Plenty is wrong with being a virgin. Plenty. Plenty.

 

 

Plenty.

 

 

Plenty.

[Go Habs Go]

Plenty is wrong with being a virgin. Plenty. Plenty.

 

 

Plenty.

 

 

Plenty.

 

 

I supposed if the person is shallow like you and thinks there's something wrong, then yes. People with your type of thinking don't help.

[LightbulbSun]

I supposed if the person is shallow like you and thinks there's something wrong, then yes. People with your type of thinking don't help.

 

Problem is, there are lots of women who think that way. Lots.

[Go Habs Go]

Problem is, there are lots of women who think that way. Lots.

 

 

And those are the types that get womanized and end up getting played because they immediately ruled out the ones with minimal experience. The instant gratification attitude will catch up with you.

[Panther_Dude]

I supposed if the person is shallow like you and thinks there's something wrong, then yes. People with your type of thinking don't help.

 

I used to have a purity ring. But truthfully...it was to impress a girl. Didn't work. And one day I snapped, and destroyed the ring. So, yeah, I'm shallow.

 

If a person is fine with virginity, good for them, really, but for me, it's a nightmare.

[bruinsy81]

Problem is, there are lots of women who think that way. Lots.

The OP isn't looking for ''lots'' of women.He is only looking for one.

[Organs]

I supposed if the person is shallow like you and thinks there's something wrong, then yes. People with your type of thinking don't help.

 

If the majority of people in a culture think there's something wrong with not reaching puberty until your late teens, then there is effectively something wrong with it. If the majority of people in a culture think there's something wrong with being under 6' in height, then there is effectively something wrong with it.

 

Do you see where I'm going with this? Even if there actually is nothing wrong with being a virgin past the age of 20, the fact that most people think there's something wrong with it effectively make it so.

 

Let's, for the moment, suppose that there actually IS something wrong with being a virgin for that long. Let's say that after the age of 20, a man can't produce hormones on his own unless he got a jump start at least at the age of 20 and has been able to leap frog and keep the hormonal production going until he feels ready to settle down. Chances are, the virgin is more upset about just being alone and unwanted than not being able to become erect and shoot sperm and have children.

 

Now, we know this is all nonsense, since as long as a guy doesn't have E.D., then he's pretty much able to sleep with a girl at any stage of his life, regardless of when he starts.

 

But the majority of people think there's something wrong with a guy who's a virgin late in life. Or they just don't want a guy who's inexperienced for that long, selfishly saying "Well, he certainly needs to get laid right away; I just don't want to be the girl who does it!".

 

It's like the dollar bill in the U.S. It's not based on gold anymore. There used to be a time when you could go to the U.S. Mint, give them $10 or whatever, and get back $10 worth of gold. Now it's just based on an idea. If you go to a U.S. Mint now, give them $10, they look at you and say "That's nice. What do you want me to do about it?". That's not to say a $10 bill is worthless, though. It isn't worthless because the majority of people think it's worth $10!

 

By that same logic, effectively, there is something wrong with being a virgin. Intellectually, you and I and many other people know better, but what is known and what is culturally accepted as normal aren't always the same.

 

I mean, remember when we were cheering on the new millennium when it turned 2000? Even news anchors believed it. It didn't start until 2001, but that didn't matter.

[bruinsy81]

So what do you suggest the OP [or anyone else in life starting late] should do?Pack it in and consider it hopeless?That is utter nonsense.There are many women who will find the shy,quiet man attractive.It's not the virginity per se that is the stumbling block.It is likely the shyness or not approaching women and asking them out .To worry about the virginity is pointless,going to a hooker isn't going to help the OP improve his social skills or improve his confidence[it may actually lessen it]

[dr_styles]

what NOT to do is broadcast being a virgin

[Go Habs Go]

You must be either a lawyer or a politician because I have never seen a human being spew such bullsh*t in my life. Most guys probably prefer blondes to brunettes, so does that mean there's something wrong being a brunette?

[Organs]

You must be either a lawyer or a politician because I have never seen a human being spew such bullsh*t in my life. Most guys probably prefer blondes to brunettes, so does that mean there's something wrong being a brunette?

 

I think some of you are misunderstanding me. Anyone who's read my advice to involuntarily celibate virgins knows I do my best to sympathize and encourage them to try and talk to women.

 

I was emphasizing a point. Physically, there is nothing wrong with being a virgin. And there SHOULDN'T be anything wrong with being a virgin. If your friends know you are one and like you all the same, those are good friends to keep.

 

I wasn't spouting bad advice. I was making social commentary. Re-read what I wrote and realize that I genuinely don't think there's anything wrong with being a virgin.

[dr_styles]

hey don't take his word for it then: inject into conversations with friends or dates that you've never kissed a girl or are a virgin and see if they treat you any differently.

 

The morale high horse doesn't always win.

[wsim]

While there are girls that probably don't mind.... society shuns those who are virgins later in life (example mid 20s). Yeah, it sucks but what can people like us really do? Better to hide it than embarrass yourself further?

 

It isn't something that you should openly admit. Same goes with me never having a girlfriend before. I try not to ever really bring it up anymore, no matter who is around. People may seem understanding but I highly suspect that they are talking negative things behind my back or viewing me in a less than ideal light.

[bruinsy81]

what NOT to do is broadcast being a virgin

I agree. Any woman who may be attracted to a shy guy is already going to realize that he lacks experience,it goes with the territory.Contrary to popular belief there are women who like shy guys .Hopefully the OP can find one.

[LightbulbSun]

To be fair to Organs, there's nothing wrong with being a loner, either. However, you don't have to look any farther than South Park's last episode to realize that the majority of society feels there's something wrong with loners.

 

It's the same with virginity, however I think it's how you phrase it. If you say, "Oh, I just haven't met the right person yet," or "Oh, I've been saving myself for the right moment," it's admirable. On the other hand, if you go, "I'm a virgin, is that okay with you?", you're putting all the pressure on her, and she has to decide if you're a virgin because you just haven't lost it, or if there's something socially wrong with you.

 

I hate to quote my friend again, but he was 39 (that's 14 years older than the OP's age) when he lost his virginity, and his girlfriend didn't care. Now he's married with a baby. My cousin didn't start dating until he was in his late 20s, and now he has an attractive wife and a second baby on the way.

 

The point I'm trying to make is: life isn't a race. And to those that think older virgins are disgusting, I have news for you: YOUR attitude is what is disgusting. Not the older virgins.

[dr_styles]

As agreeable as that is, it doesn't work if these same people are the ones you want date/marry. I've seen posts before this thread saying they (the girl) would not have gone out with their BF if they knew beforehand they never had a girlfriend before or were virgins.

 

It's unfortunate this one thing can be a deal breaker on it's own but luckily there are ways to dodge it or if it came to it, justify it. But definitely no lying or admissions on your own initiative though.

[bruinsy81]

As agreeable as that is, it doesn't work if these same people are the ones you want date/marry. I've seen posts before this thread saying they (the girl) would not have gone out with their BF if they knew beforehand they never had a girlfriend before or were virgins.

 

It's unfortunate this one thing can be a deal breaker on it's own but luckily there are ways to dodge it or if it came to it, justify it. But definitely no lying or admissions on your own initiative though.

Yes,there are ways to dodge it.The lack of experience/virginity,in my opinion would be an issue if the hypothetical male was someone who had no shyness or social anxiety to deal with and could ask women out quite easily.Why should it be so surprising that a quiet shy man may not have much experience?? Any woman interested in a shy man is likely going to figure that out on her own ,so it shouldn't be a deal breaker .It's not very common in my experience that an equally shy woman will match up with an equally shy man.I would guess that in both cases[sexes] it took a more assertive person to get the ball rolling. I'm not sure what the solution is for the OP or any shy man in general but perhaps it is not a question of overcoming his shyness[which obviously would help]but more a question of focusing on a more assertive woman .