Advice on an email I'm about to send...

[True_Love]

Ok so it is only Day 7 of NC b ut I have to email because we play in a band together and I have 13 unanswered emails from him and now the other band members are getting involved because he is asking them what is wrong with me, what did he do, so that is not good to drag others in. So I will mention in it why I have not contacted. Previously I have been messaging lots, asking for a second chance and then 6 days ago I get an email from him that was a forward from a "female friend" of his that was a message to me, I have never met her, and she wants to give me advice?? So here is what I wrote....

 

Hi >>>>>>>

 

I need some space right now, and I think for us to ever be able to be friends again, we need to not have any contact for a while, perhaps a month or two, to let the dust settle. I agree now with your decision totally, but to move forward we must allow time to heal.

 

Band stuff (short paragraph with minimal what I need to say)...........

 

Also please do not forward me any messages from people that don't know me, I have no interest in their opinion or advice for me.

 

Take care, >>>>>>

 

 

I don't agree with the decision, but I am SUPER annoyed about this email I got and I really want him to think that she is the cause of my sudden silence also.

 

Opinions please??

[CallingAllAngels]

Well, why do you think you have 13 unanswered emails from him? Perhaps he wants to do the "no contact" thing for a while?

 

Do you think he is "involved" with this "female friend" that he forwarded the email from?

[True_Love]

no, i have not answered 13 of his emails, I ignored them.

 

I don't know about this woman, I asked him about it before and he said "no he isn't but she does like him" Maybe, but also she just got out of a 7 year relationship so she tells me on the email so if they were it would be totally double rebound.

[CallingAllAngels]

no, i have not answered 13 of his emails, I ignored them.

 

I don't know about this woman, I asked him about it before and he said "no he isn't but she does like him" Maybe, but also she just got out of a 7 year relationship so she tells me on the email so if they were it would be totally double rebound.

 

OH! I'm sorry...I misunderstood your original post.

 

Well...if you are in a band together, how are you going to do no contact, per the email you wrote?

 

Do you want to get back together with him, or do you really want to be "just friends". I find that doesn't work after most relationships end...

 

Just my opinion.

[True_Love]

yes I want to get back with him, but this I have been told is the trick that works, to make him think I'm not waiting for him anymore and like they say absence makes the heart grow fonder. Our next gigs are not until June, we really don't need to contact until then, he just messages me about the band as an excuse to email me. Everything I have done so far has not worked and I have made is really clear I want him back and he says.... I've thought about it every day for the whole time and I just don't know. So now I think leave him be, let him figure that out and let him think I'm not waiting.

[CallingAllAngels]

yes I want to get back with him, but this I have been told is the trick that works, to make him think I'm not waiting for him anymore and like they say absence makes the heart grow fonder. Our next gigs are not until June, we really don't need to contact until then, he just messages me about the band as an excuse to email me. Everything I have done so far has not worked and I have made is really clear I want him back and he says.... I've thought about it every day for the whole time and I just don't know. So now I think leave him be, let him figure that out and let him think I'm not waiting.

 

Hmmmmmm...okay. Well, just some food for thought...he COULD be "involved" with that "female friend". I KNOW he says he's not, BUT, SHE DOES LIKE HIM, and regardless of the fact that she's coming out of a long term relationship, they could be involved.

 

Just the fact that he forwarded you an email from her makes me think this is POSSIBLE.

 

Just some food for thought. Don't trust everything he tells you. Trust YOUR GUT...it will NEVER serve you wrong.

[rigguy]

No no, don't go for games and tricks, you will only trick yourself. Do you really want to be in a relationship with someone who falls for a trick, I guess I should ask how old are you and what you want out of this.

[jaygirl]

Well, for me i agree with your mail. i think its good. as long as u dont add any other thing.

 

wanted to ask how would do the NC? wont u guys play together in the band?

[jaygirl]

"Also please do not forward me any messages from people that don't know me, I have no interest in their opinion or advice for me"

 

No need to add that part. i think asking for No contact covers it.

[True_Love]

I am 28 he is 33, we have been together more than 6 years. As for the band yes we will play together but the next dates are not until June and so before that time there is really no need to have band talks.

 

As for the other woman, I believe something is going on but more that she wants him and they just hang out and she gives him bad advice about me. I think he thought he was doing me a favour because back in January me being stupid I posted on his FB page in Swedish - I love you. She replied to it in Swedish (when she doesn't speak it, wow you can use google translate!!) "He doesn't love you any more,get over it". He got really mad at her, deleted the comment and then this email was her saying sorry, she didn't mean it, she knows what it is like to go through a break up blah blah. Of course I replied to none of it from her. I think she apologised because she is one of his "fans" and thinks that without doing that she is going to cause some big trouble when she wants to come and see our shows.

 

Does this make any more sense?