Whats the difference between a rebound and a girlfriend?

[Psinic]

Hi guys,

 

For those that know my story, I like alot of you am going through a rough breakup. It's been 5 weeks today since she told me it was over, but we didn't live together for the last 3 months, and the first two months she was coming and going alot. I still miss her and my life with her so much.

 

But the thing is I have met a girl at work. She is great, cute and funny. Attractive and we can talk for hours about rubbish She also has emotional baggage and we have spoken at length about my situation and how im feeling. Im not hiding anything from her, as I don't feel the need to. She needs to accept me for how and what I am. She is being great about it, has told me she just wants to help me find my happiness again and take away my pain.

 

Although I am still hurting alot from the breakup, this is making me feel better and a little happier about the future.

 

So my questions and concerns..

 

I feel guilty about spending time with this new girl. It took me ages to kiss her yesterday for the first time and i was wracked with guilt over it because i feel like i am being unfaithful to my ex.. What's that about?

 

How do I know this isn't a rebound. I really do not want her to be, she has also mentioned that she doesn't want to be a rebound. I want this to be a fresh new relationshoip where we get to know each other and see if it grow's. So how do you tell the difference between a rebound relationship and a natural normal one?

 

Am I moving too fast here..

 

Thanks guys,

 

Psi.

[brokenheart41]

Rebound:

1.) You think about your ex all the time when you're with her

2.) You Compare her to your ex

3.) Use her to numb the pain

4.) You're not really in love with her

 

Girlfriend:

1.) You know it deep inside when it's the real deal.

2.) When you're over your ex and you don't feel anything for her anymore.

[No1]

There is this little thing called "Projection Transference" its when you take all your feelings for your X and you just project them to your new girl. Esentually you replaced one physical body (your X) with another and you use her as an outlet for your feelings.

 

Its what Brokenheart said, if you are with your new girl and yet you still think about your X on a constant basis, If you smile at your new girl and think or wish it was your X, if you do anything: hold hands, kiss, snuggle up, look, smile talk and wish it was your X or see your X in this new girl, then you are using her as a rebound. You are transfering the residual feelings for your X to this one