A waste or not?

[delicateleganc]

Hello Everyone:

 

So I have been seeing this guy for over four months and I really really like him. I have asked him a few times how he feels about me and where exactly we stand. The last time I asked him if he had thought about it and he told me no. This kind of annoyed me because I had asked before so why think about it now. He knows I want a relationship and I think I've made it pretty clear on how I feel about him. Anyways I didn't even know how to respond to that...should he have some kind of feelings for me by now? I have told him if he doesn't want anything with me to just tell me. It's not about sex as far as I can tell because half the time that doesn't even happen. I want to know everyone's opinion...I'm open to all suggestions and thoughts about any of this. Wasting my time? Is it to early to define where we are? etc....

[Shallow]

How young of a couple are you? Most younger guys don't have any idea what they want, except physically, which is why I ask.

 

Is he generally distant when you're together or just when you ask these sorts of personal questions?

 

Four months is a fair amount of time. I've been dumped in half that amount of time for being too passive.

[Ammy]

4 months is a long time... You're not asking for marriage, all you're asking for is some feeling... I think the fact that sex is also in the equation and you're clear you want a relationship and he stills messes you around with this "I don't know / think about it" is a sign that perhaps you are wasting your time. It seems to me he doesn't value your feelings. I think you could do better!

 

Ammy

[eggplant47]

Typically, I think yes. He has had long enough he should know whether he has serious feelings for you or not.

 

However... you say you asked him a few times about how he felt/ where you stood... How soon did you start asking & how many times is a few exactly? If you started asking him every couple weeks just a month into the relationship, he could really care for you but be a little afraid you're trying to rush him.

[mgirl]

No, i don't think it's a waste, chalk it up to a learning experience. I don't think he is that interested, if he was, he would have jumped on it by now! Maybe just hang around for another month or so, and if it doesn't improve, find somebody who does want a commitment from you.

[delicateleganc]

He's is 29 and I am 25 and when we are together he gives me all of his attention. One thing I have come to learn about him is that he does not like to talk about his emotions and problems, he tends to keep things boxed in. I have asked him how he feel about me twice and the more recent one was last month; as for the first time I wouldn't really be able to give you a time period, may a month before. I haven't been constantly asking because I know that would be a pain in the ass. Like Ammy said, I just want to know how he feels about me...whether it's going somewhere or not?

[Shallow]

One thing I have come to learn about him is that he does not like to talk about his emotions and problems, he tends to keep things boxed in. I have asked him how he feel about me twice and the more recent one was last month; as for the first time I wouldn't really be able to give you a time period, may a month before. I haven't been constantly asking because I know that would be a pain in the ass. Like Ammy said, I just want to know how he feels about me...whether it's going somewhere or not?

I don't really like talking about my emotions and problems either . . . I have my wall. However, if I was feeling comfortable with someone after 4 months, and was really into them, I'd be able to tell them so.

 

That said, it doesn't sound like he's as into you as you are him.

[delicateleganc]

Okay well thanks guys.