Im trying not to overreact BUT....

[sweetgirl141]

Ive been trying really hard to not let things get to me, especially things that I have no control over. I have been doing really well until...

 

Last night I called my boyfriend when I got off work. He had just gotten off as well and said it was his friend Seths birthday and he was going to go to Seths house and drink/hang out. I dont care for Seth because I feel like he is a negative influence and there have many a couple instances where he has done things I didnt really like. For example, he texted my boyfriend saying "YAYO" (for those of you who do not know, it is a term for cocaine) and it was this big to do because I thought this guy was getting my boyfriend to do cocaine, trying to get my boyfriend to find some for him, etc etc.

 

When he told me he was going to Seths house to hang out, I said ok. About 135am, when i was getting ready to go to bed, I texted my boyfriend just to see what he was up to. He told me he was at Seths house and was getting ready to get a cab to go home. Then he told me he would text me to let me know he got home ok.

 

I woke up about 515am and had not recieved a text from him. TRYING NOT TO OVERREACT, I texted him saying "I hope you got home ok". Well this morning about 11 (when he was at work) he texted me saying he got home, passed out, sorry for not texting me, blah blah, would I like to get lunch. I say yes.

 

We go to lunch and he tells me that he went to the strip club last night. I was like ummmmmmmmmmm so when you told me at 135am that you were at seths house about to leave, you were really at the strip club??? He was like uhhh yea, trying to beat around the bush. I wont go more into the "disagreement" because it was just be saying how I felt and him saying "I understand, I understand" but I have this feeling inside like I am just really hurt and betrayed, almost that feeling you get when someone cheats on you. Im not saying he cheated on me, Im saying thats what Im feeling inside, just the pain and hurt.

[Leighton]

This guy really just doesn't seem like he cares about your feelings.

[eggplant47]

Hmmm, yeah. I'd be pretty pissed. Did he try to explain why he mislead you?

 

That on top of the missing "I'm home" text would make me dubious.

[minou]

Yayo and other substances screw with peoples' heads and behavior. This is what you get while they're high. You're lucky he came forward and told you the truth the next day. Lots of people on those substances just wouldn't come forward with the truth. If he uses sometimes this is pretty much what to expect. You might want to go to Alanon if you love this person to help you deal with these kinds of situations.

[Batya33]

Your boyfriend has a lifestyle that is not compatible with yours and it sounds like his values and the way he treats people are not compatible with yours. Nothing to do with Seth - your bf is an adult and chooses his behaviors and actions, including choosing to hang around with Seth and drink/go to strip clubs/take drugs, etc.

 

If he wants to change, he will but it's not up to you to get him to change or to influence him to change (just like Seth can't influence him either - it is up to your bf). Or, you can accept that this is his lifestyle, accept that you might not hear from him when he tells you he will be in touch, accept that he likes to get drunk and party. If he wants to change you can be supportive and cheer him on but you can't be his mother or his therapist.

[Seabreeze]

Sounds like he lied to you because he didnt want you to wait up and worry or he knew you wouldnt be happy about him going to a strip club, but he did tell you the truth in the morning. I think you might have a right to be upset he lied to you, but you shouldnt feel cheated on.