What do I do?

[PieFace]

So I'm 18... I'm a senior at high-school and about a month ago I starting dating this girl whom we'll call Sam... I've known Sam for a few years now and for the past year we've been talking about getting together... So Feb 17th we finally start dating.

Now she has a daughter that is a year and 2 months old whom we'll call Susie. It is not my child however...

For the first 3 weeks everything is wonderful and I actually think this is the first girl I've ever truly loved.

But this past week and a half she's said that I've changed.

This is an email she sent me today

"I feel like you don't want to spend time with me. Like you wouldn't care if I was there or not. & then when I am and Susie is with me, I feel that you don't want her there. When I mention her you say things that hint that you wish she didn't have to be there. idk. I just don't know anymore. Everything was soooooo wonderful when we first got together. You were sooo sweet and you treated me like I was very important to you. Before you acted like every moment with me was vital to keep you breathing.. but for the last week and a half... its been different. Whats missing is the feeling that I'm important to you. I've been acting different because I feel different. IDK what to think about our relationship now. I feel like we're wayy too different. I feel so upset with myself because I thought that we were great together.. and we're not. I was sooo blind. I just don't know how much longer we're going to last."

 

Now I have yet to tell her that I'm falling in love with her. and then I get that above email... which hurt alot because at no point in time did it ever cross my mind that I didn't want to spend time with either her OR Susie... because I love them BOTH

 

so later on in the day today she broke up with me...

 

it's 5:27am right now and I haven't slept for even a second...

 

I want to tell her tomorrow that I'm in love with her... but I don't think that will solve everything... how do I go about showing her that she means the world to me and that everything she's been thinking is just ridiculous?

[Casmut]

It sounds to me like she might be a tad insecure and nervous and perhaps made a decision rationally. You need to show her and her child how true your love is towards them, but remember one thing. Actions do speak louder than words, so instead of telling them how much you love them, show them. Whatever it is you decide to do should come from the heart, only you should know how to really prove your love to them.

[eggplant47]

It sounds like she is definitely insecure and possibly a little depressed. If you really feel that you love her, I guess this would the time to tell her. But... just be prepared for this realtionship to be a bumpy ride. Right now, you are in the early stages of the relationship- for most couples this is a blissful period. The fact that you are already having problems a few weeks in is a bad sign.

 

Ideally, your girlfriend would need to work on her own feelings of insecurity & self worth before she entered into a relationship- especially one that is complicated with a child. You may also be getting some insight as to how she handles conflict. This will not be the first time your relationship will be tested. If her first instinct is to bail, how will your relationship ever last?

 

I really hope for your sake, hers & most importantly the child's that things will work out for the best. Good luck!

[minou]

Tell her you love her & that you'd like the chance to show her. She sounds really immature, however, to base a decision on what one week and a half have been like.... She may not be ready for love.