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Post your funny experiences with the opposite sex/ex/whoever!


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So I am getting tired of this morbid, depressive side of people who dominate this forum (which is obviously legitimate) and thought we should have a thread dedicated to those funny experiences with the opposite sex so we all have a little giggle while we are healing. Try not to give an experience about your ex, since it might make you miss them unless you are over it, or strong enough to talk about it without feeling the urge to break NC

 

Okay so let me start:

 

This isn't funny - but more gross with alittle bit of humour lol. When my ex and I were kissing in his car for the FIRST time, I, because my lack of experience in kissing, somehow LICK his booger from his nose and into my mouth. Yes, folks, I had boogers in my mouth. I didnt know whether I should swallow it, or spit it out so I told him to excuse me .... turned my head the other way, took that little bad boy out of there ....

 

My ex asked, "What was that?"

Me, "Yeah, I licked your booger."

Him, "Oh"

 

.......... silence ..... silence .... silence ..... resume making out

 

yes, will never forget that moment ....

 

Now your turn! I want to laugh so it better be funny

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After the first date with my ex, in which we kissed at the end of the night (my first kiss ever), I toggled my relationship status on Facebook to "In a relationship with ". The next day, pending approval, she called me and said it it was way too soon for her to call me her boyfriend.

 

How naive was I?

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My ex before last was not a big drinker (neither am I). One of the times we decided to make a big deal about celebrating our anniversary, we kinda went all out to have a special night at home. Fondue, chocolate, fire in the fireplace, some Isely Brothers LPs, wine and everything uber romantical. We both had a long week working, but were determined to make the evening amazing. He cracks open the wine, and we have a few glasses each laying on the couch watching the fire. Next thing we know it's morning and time to get up for work! We both laugh about it to this day. =)

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After the first date with my ex, in which we kissed at the end of the night (my first kiss ever), I toggled my relationship status on Facebook to "In a relationship with ". The next day, pending approval, she called me and said it it was way too soon for her to call me her boyfriend.

 

How naive was I?

 

Ahaha that's cute. But you know better now huh? Gotta take these things slooooooow.

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Oh yeah, New Year's Eve with her was a trip. First time I had been around her while she was drunk. Went out to a bar we frequent(ed), which had an open bar for an hour during the first part of the night. She sure took advantage of that. We got there around 9:00pm, and by 12:30am, she must have had 7 drinks. The usual 10 minute walk back to her house took 30 minutes. After 3 slips to the ground, shouting "HAPPY NEW YEEEARR!" to everyone, barefoot running on the wet cold pavement, bloody knees, a lost ring, and a lost gift bag, we finally got inside. She threw up in the bathroom, almost passed out by the bath tub. I pulled her back inside her room (she lives in a shared house), and in bed with her dress still on, half way down her body, she threw up again, but on her side of the bed.. NOT on my side.

 

I kept myself awake until 3:00am for her to make sure everything was okay. She had a massive headache, but could have been worse. Ruined a pillow case and her bed sheet, lost a ring, and she had serious bruises on her knees.

 

Oh, fun stuff.

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I don't know if this is appropriate for this forum.

 

But the first time I ever got a BJ was my ex ex's first time, too.

 

When I asked her what she thought of it, she said, "I don't like it, because it gets stuck in my teeth."

 

This was high school, btw...

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Okay I got a couple...

 

My best friend who is a guy, who Ive been kinda seeing on and off (complicated!)...anyways...

 

A group of us were round his house before a night out and it just so happened I was the only girl at this point (There were about 5 of us altogether)..Got a brilliant insight into the male psyche..Turns out they really do find flatulence hilarious.

 

After a few beers something which can only be described as a farting competition took place..yeah I know, Hawt! LOL they all found this utterly hilarious, and after several very loud unpleasant noises from the boys they started goding me to try and join in.

 

I didnt want to become a ladette but at the same time I didnt want to disappoint and I could feel one brewing so I just went for it anyway...cringe

 

What came next was a sound which can only be described as the sound of a fizzy drinks bottle being opened followed by epic laughter and me saying "Told you I cant do it!"

 

Yeah, you probably kinda had to be there!

 

Another time, with the same guy...we were in Burger King before going to see a film that night, and some rather large woman slipped over and split her trousers right in the middle of the restaurant..I know its mean but we couldnt help but laugh..only he had milkshake in his mouth and it all came out his nose, spurted accross the table onto my face!!! We couldnt stop laughing for ages..then just as we were calming down I did a little snort by accident and it started all over again!

 

x

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ummm mine is probaly when i was sat down in my boxers on my ex's bed and she started laughing histerically for no reason.. my penis was poking out the front of my boxers... had no idea lol

 

I hope you've since switched to boxer briefs. They're sexy, if and only if they have spandex in them for some shape.

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I went to take a shower in my ex's house once. I kept hearing this banging sound, I didn't really know what it was so I chose to ignore it.

 

When I got out of the shower I heard the banging again and somebody calling out my name, I turned around (butt naked) and saw that my boyfriend had his face squished into the fanlight window above the bathroom door.

 

He smiled and waved at me, I screamed.

 

...there was also the time we took magic mushrooms and went to the zoo.

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I went to take a shower in my ex's house once. I kept hearing this banging sound, I didn't really know what it was so I chose to ignore it.

 

When I got out of the shower I heard the banging again and somebody calling out my name, I turned around (butt naked) and saw that my boyfriend had his face squished into the fanlight window above the bathroom door.

 

He smiled and waved at me, I screamed.

 

...there was also the time we took magic mushrooms and went to the zoo.

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My ex was baked and had the munchies, so she asked me to take her to the store for some ice cream. We go inside and go in separate directions only to meet up on the ice cream isle. As I'm walking toward her I notice her shirt looks really strange. Upon further inspection I realize it reads YEPOD .... now for those of you that don't smoke weed, that would be what you get when you put your DOPEY the dwarf shirt on inside out..... yeah about that....

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