GenoGeno Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 Well it's been a long hard month for me with my ex hating me for everything I did to her. I tried to stick to no contact but I just couldn't do it, I had to be real with her and tell her everyday how much i cared about her....and to tell you the truth. For me....I think this is working better than no contact so just a reminder this could work for you too. You really gotta be precise with what you guys do if you want her back. There is no guarantees for me yet...but things are definitely looking brighter. And i pretty much wrote this just to give some of you hope that it does happen from time to time. I'll be sure to update in a week or so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MakestheBest Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 She said maybe! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 My dear, I didn't suggest no contact for you to get her back. I suggested it because you said you were insecure (about her guy friends and you not being where you wanted to be in life) and boardering on emotionally abusive with her. You sounded like you needed time away from the relationship, working on your personal goals, and preferably in therapy, to find more happiness and peace within you. I'm very concerned if she did get back, you two would break up again because there would be no lesson learned. Keep us posted! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bungalo Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 I hope it works for you. In my poisonous mind, maybe could mean maybe YES maybe NO. I hope it's a yes. Why did you breakup, and how long were you together? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GenoGeno Posted March 20, 2010 Author Share Posted March 20, 2010 Sorry to disagree with you but I don't feel you've grasped my life at all Ms Darcy haha. No disrespect because everyone is entitled to there opinion and yours is definitely welcome. But I was never insecure about her hanging out with guys...i feel i was one of the only guys on the planet who never felt a thing when she hung out with guy friends because i trusted her a lot. I was insecure about her going to school and getting to where she wanted in life. But I currently am in school now and working towards what I want as well. I do feel I love this girl a lot and have enough push in me to completely change and don't want to let that slip with time. And to bungalo, we were together for a year and 6 months. The reason for breaking up...I was way to hard on her with my emotions and pretty much mean non stop but she always kind of had faith in me that I would change. She is very hesitant on giving me another chance but said she would if she feels better and see's that I'm making a change first with just talking to her and showing her I guess because actions speak louder than words. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pinnsvini Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 Are you sure her 'maybe' isn't a way to stop you from harassing her every day? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 Sorry to disagree with you but I don't feel you've grasped my life at all haha. No disrespect because everyone is entitled to there opinion and yours is definitely welcome. But I was never insecure about her hanging out with guys...i feel i was one of the only guys on the planet who never felt a thing when she hung out with guy friends because i trusted her a lot. I was insecure about her going to school and getting to where she wanted in life. But I currently am in school now and working towards what I want as well. I do feel I love this girl a lot and have enough push in me to completely change and don't want to let that slip with time. Sure, that's cool. You were insecure about the 'not where you wanted to be' and not about the guys piece. Having said that, didn't you indicate that you took things out on her a lot even though she was kind to you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GenoGeno Posted March 20, 2010 Author Share Posted March 20, 2010 Pinnsivini no I'm pretty sure...because she said would we go on dates for once and you'd be responsible for once and all these other things and she talks to me almost everyday now so I can tell she perhaps wants too but just doesn't trust me at all yet. And Ms Darcy, Yes i did take a lot out on her, way to much...I don't know how she stuck around so long but my guess would be that she actually really did love me a lot and wasn't lying when she said that. I mean it's understandable from my view that shes being hesitant...when proved wrong so many times before what makes this time any different...but I think with perseverance and proper action it can be done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 Pinnsivini no I'm pretty sure...because she said would we go on dates for once and you'd be responsible for once and all these other things and she talks to me almost everyday now so I can tell she perhaps wants too but just doesn't trust me at all yet. And Ms Darcy, Yes i did take a lot out on her, way to much...I don't know how she stuck around so long but my guess would be that she actually really did love me a lot and wasn't lying when she said that. I mean it's understandable from my view that shes being hesitant...when proved wrong so many times before what makes this time any different...but I think with perseverance and proper action it can be done. We're speaking in generalities. If behavior was that easy to change, people would change all the time. I know losing her hurt and I hope for the best, but saying you will change and changing are two different animals. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GenoGeno Posted March 20, 2010 Author Share Posted March 20, 2010 We're speaking in generalities. If behavior was that easy to change, people would change all the time. I know losing her hurt and I hope for the best, but saying you will change and changing are two different animals. Yeah i do agree with that because every time i said i would change before and thought in my mind yeah I can do that...easy. It never happened, but there is also a part of me that realizes how much I hurt this person and a drive in me now that never wants to do that again...in fact flips it to wanting to protect this person from anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snoopydog Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 This is your second chance buddy. If you work really hard on resolving the issues that led to the breakup then you could well reconcile. Wish I had gotten one. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Knows Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 Are you sure her 'maybe' isn't a way to stop you from harassing her every day? 9 times out of 10 when it comes to a relationship that's what it means. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TearsofFate Posted March 21, 2010 Share Posted March 21, 2010 Yeah NC seems to work better for getting over Ex's rather than getting them back. It has like a 50% chance of working. That's not a lot! I once read on one site that it might even be lower like 35%. Too a lot of people that is better than 0% I guess. They best way to get an ex back is to just play it smart I guess. Go with the flow and trust your heart. Stay focused and positive. I found that not going NC, and instead being kind, considerate, not pushy, distanced but friendly has worked better than NC. Also, staying true to your feelings is a good idea as long as your not to pushy with it. I kind of messed up and lied about my feelings (told him I wasn't interested) because I got scared of rejection. Stuff like that doesn't help...ahh Good work though, keep us posted! Don't pay to much mind to posters who sound pessimistic. Not everyone on here has success stories to share. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleMadmoiselle Posted March 21, 2010 Share Posted March 21, 2010 They best way to get an ex back is to just play it smart I guess. Go with the flow and trust your heart. Stay focused and positive. I found that not going NC, and instead being kind, considerate, not pushy, distanced but friendly has worked better than NC. Also, staying true to your feelings is a good idea as long as your not to pushy with it. I kind of messed up and lied about my feelings (told him I wasn't interested) because I got scared of rejection. Stuff like that doesn't help...ahh Agree with this. Stay true to yourself, but also GOOD to yourself. If it hurts to be in touch, don't be. Get *yourself* back first. I know everyone advocates that on here, but I can't stress enough how important it was for me in my recent situation and in previous ones. I've found it's best to be honest as well. With some restraint, of course..depending on the situation. But really, honesty is a must. That's what good relationships are built on. Resist the urge to play games. If you're having to resort to that, maybe they're not the best person for you anyway (or for *right now*, at least). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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