Jeez- Can't I do anything right?

[rms128]

I had a meeting with a job coach today. I am blown away about how it went. I have had 2 job interviews (and you would have thought that would have impressed him). I thought I was doing well on my own. He asked where (as in location wise) I wanted to work. I told him some where within an hour. My husband is a couple years younger than me and is new to his career. He has (w/o going into too much details) a real chance here to build up his career here fast and get a lot of experience. I told the job coach it was unfair to my husband to have him give up that chance, The coach went on and on for an 1/2 hour about "how all women throw away their careers for men" and how stupid that was. I had no idea how to respond.

[Pompea]

Well your job coach is really only there to coach you, so yeah, I suppose he would encourage you to follow your own goals and not give them up for someone.

But if it were me? I would not uproot my husband when he had a good chance where he was. I would try to deal with it. I would, of course, also talk to him about it and see how he feels though.

 

Is your coach a woman? Sounds like they could be a little biased and feminist. :s

[rms128]

actually is is a man. I was actualy suprised about how fast he wanted me to uproot my husband....... it really went poorly and I am more discouraged than I was before. He wan't even impressed I have had 2 interviews "on my own" before I met with him. I told him about my interviews and he "doubts" i will be offered either... despite the fact that I won't find out for both until match 31st

[annie24]

maybe you need a new coach?

 

well, it happens. it's very hard for two people who are career driven to find a good opportunity in the same city. it happens, but it's not always easy. often, one person has to give up some options for the sake of the marriage. it's a choice that has to be made, and yes, often it is women! i guess you could take that awesome job offer in London or Paris or New York and ditch your husband, but I'm guessing that isn't a choice you are willing to make.

 

since you've already had 2 interviews on your own, you can't be all that bad. maybe find a new coach, one who will be a bit more supportive of you.

[shes2smart]

Yeah, he's doing real well with that "coaching" aspect, huh?

 

I suppose the "Best encouragement is discouragement" approach works for some people, but it's obviously not going to work for you.

 

I've gone to 2 career counselors/job coaches, and neither one was anything like that. Quite the opposite, in fact...I felt MUCH better about my situation after talking to them, not worse.

 

What kind of qualifications does this guy have? Any background in counseling? (Both of the people I went to were licensed social workers)

 

The best thing I can tell you is find someone else who you CAN work with, because you with this "job coach" sounds like a match made in hell.

[thejigsup]

If you want to look out for your husband's career before your own, that is your business and he shouldn't have commented so caustically about that. BUT, he is telling you the truth. I work in a Family Law office and I cannot count the number of women who have been left penniless because the nurtured his career and not theirs. They ended up working fast food and such to pay their bills. It's always a gamble to put someone else's career ahead of your own, but you love the guy and I understand it. I'm just telling you it's admirable, but risky.