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My NC challenge


ehart

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I decidedto go NC with my ex. We broke off 1 month ago and i begged and pleaded, didnt contact him for 3 days, he called wanted me back but i had hooked up with a different guy (not proud of but HE DUMPED ME) now he is "unsure"?? makes me angry. So he said he needs to "think" i said ok but now i realised thats not fair to make me wait so im doing NC and see where that goes because he wont expect that.

I am already on day 2. Wrote him and email explaining he broke my heart when he left, he gave me away, i was with one guy one time and that it isnt fair to get upset with me about it. I said i need time as well and that i wont be waiting and left it as that. He did not email back. I went away last night to a neighboring town to party and didnt think about him much, home now at 11 pm DYING!! im so sad and cant stop staring at my phone. Im going to go to sleep now. I have such a hard time sleeping in my bed because it reminds me of him and he isnt on his side im so upset its awful. Oh god I hope tomorrow is better, I wish this was all a bad dream i miss him so much i cant stop crying. I will keep my days posted and hopefully it helps, This is so hard on me!!! any suggestions??

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Sorry ehart, i realise i should have elaborated.

 

In your email, you said some pretty absolute things. By 'absolute', i mean, final. Then you went off and partied for a day or so.

 

What i mean is, be careful what you say. Although it feels good to say "final" things, it sometimes isn't the best idea cos when we talk while we're angry (or not angry), we might regret it, or change our minds later.

 

The partying bit makes me think you were just running away from your feelings rather than facing them. I have done this. It sets up a false sense of security. You get home and realise you feel just as bad as you did a few days before.

 

The only reason i have my "partying" theory is that you said that you now feel really bad and feel like crying.

 

I am not sure what to suggest, but maybe to have a few more days of NC. This will really help you sort out how you feel, and it isn't a good idea to communicate with your ex until you have a clearer idea about how you feel, and are more rational

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This is fresh, so it's going to be hard. But you have to stay strong and do not break NC. It could take many weeks.

 

Best thing to do is to make the most of this time. Stay busy. Clean out your closets, go through your wardrobe and throw out all the things you hate or don't fit, work on developing your personal style, maybe taking a class, joining a book group or film club, exercise, eat right, do things you want to do, whatever it is that is good for you (non-destructive).

 

You should be living as if he's never coming back and embrace your life, live it fully. He dumped you. He has no right to be critical of what you did after he ended it. The only thing you did wrong was tell him what you did. It was none of his business. Don't make that mistake again.

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3 days in and NC broken!! but he texted me. He saw pictures from my weekend and sent me 7 texts in one minute. Asking me about what i did but kinda with attitude and sent 7 in one minute the 8th saying "ok thanks for ignoring me". I waited 3 hours partially because 2 of them i was sleeping but I cracked!! i said i had a good weekend and kinda explained what i did? which is not good of me. Then i said that it bothered me that he only sent me a text to satisfy his curiosity and to please not do that again. He had attitude and said "k whatever you do it too. bye." I replyed saying actually no i have respected your decision and he sent nothing back. Ah im so mad at myself!!!

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