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Stress / pressure from parents, and I want to be independent


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I have a lot of stress lately.


I'm too old to have the problems I have; I cannot drive, I am kind of stuck in college. I am finishing my second master's--this is in engineering and my first was finished in the fall of last year, last semester, and is in math. I work as a TA at the school and I live with my parents. I am 25 years old. I've never had a job outside of my research and teaching in college. This pays for my classes and I also own a cell phone and I pay for that as well (I got my first credit card last year and am trying to build credit). (I have tried to start being independent by obtaining the cell phone / credit, which is why I mention it.)


I feel very trapped. The biggest problems to me are the not being able to drive and living at home with my parents. As for the driving situation...I became very busy and didn't have time for it in late high school (I took some AP classes, then went into college immediately after). Transportation was through riding with a family member, my brother, or carpool in some cases. I know this looks very bad. I am not sure how to obtain a driver's license at this point, as I'm not in high school for a driver's ed course, and for the last few years, my parents have been unwilling (stressing that they're not unfriendly...just unwilling) to teach me (really the only people I could ask). In either case, I am aware that this is my problem and not the responsibility of anyone else. I'm just not sure how to go about fixing this.


I feel very pressured at home (and from the above paragraph, and knowing that I live at home with my parents at 25--it makes sense that I should feel pressured, I suppose). My dad currently does not work and makes it a job to keep up on what I'm doing with my studies. (Asking about my progress / what I am doing / have done etc. at all times.) He is very hard on me to finish in college, to the point where he wakes me up early to do schoolwork and tries to manage my time for me. (I was looking forward to spring break, but he has not made it a break. I wish I could get out of the house sometimes but I cannot go out with friends but I really have none anyway, and while that depresses me and I'm not sure how to fix it either, I realize it's not as big a problem as driving and becoming independent.) My final research project has gone on entirely too long (over a year from the projected time), but I am very close to graduating with this last degree. There are times that I should have stopped and taken a break, but I didn't because I felt like I could finish sooner, and things snowballed. Dad brings up that my brother (3 years younger) will be finishing his master's degree this summer, and I am not done yet. He limits my internet and phone use. I know this is what I deserve--but how do I go about fixing it? I'm so -dependent- and have been, for so long, that I don't understand how to become independent. I was aware the credit was a big step but what else can I do aside from after I graduate?


Where do I go from here? I'll give more information as needed...


I know I shouldn't complain, and I feel ashamed for talking about it, as I *know* a lot of people have things worse than me. I do not blame my parents for anything, and I apologize if it sounds different. I was just hoping for some advice. Please be kind though.

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Hopefully, with a master's in engineering and mathematics, you will be able to quickly get a job that pays you enough to move out of your parents house. Get out, have fun, and experience what YOU want to do. Sounds like you've never really had a chance to get a good grip on who you are.

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Use what internet time you're 'allowed' to research driving schools and study guides possibly through a .gov site. Then use your credit card to pay for lessons and go take the test.


Your parents sound unhealthy, and that's not intended to insult but rather to provoke you into exploring why your parents shouldn't be micro-managing you at this age. Their focus on policing you and not teaching you to drive spells good intentions gone wrong.


Parents are supposed to give their kids 'roots and wings', yours only gave you roots--now you're rootbound. It will be up to you to learn how to grow your own wings. Finish school if graduation is within immediate reach--if not, you've got the education to go find work and complete the second master's later. You need work now more than anything else, and then position yourself in a room at a boarding house or a cheap apartment near public transportation, and GO.


You'll get there, don't worry.

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congrats on getting two masters done by 25!!! you will definetly be financailly set in a few years...no need to worry about that.


being out there is not all that. i was out at 18, finished college at 22, got several jobs and now i'm back home for a while again at 26. i'm in the science field and hopfully have a year of school and i should get a pretty good job and get started on the rest of my life.


we both have parents that are supportive at that is awesome i think. i'm just grateful for that. just stay positive. the things like driving can come in a few months. just finish your masters, land a job, and you're better than most 25 year olds!!

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