Told her how I felt; no doubt.

[Aeryn]

So for anybody who isn't aware, I posted a thread a few days back about something that was really confusing me. Here it is: I would first like to thank all of you who talked to me and gave me advice. I really appreciate it.

 

I'm making this thread because I told the girl how I felt yesterday; and surprisingly, she says she feels the same way about me. I thought it would feel awkward after telling her, but it really didn't/doesn't. Honestly, it feels right. I'm glad I did it. I'm glad I opened up and took yalls advice; however, there is still my family - but I'm going to try not to focus on that at the moment.

 

Anyways, despite her having the same feelings, I don't think she's quite ready for anything too serious right now. She is a couple of years younger than I am, still finding herself and everything, I think. It would be wrong of us to start something up... I would be expecting something serious - a commitment; but she admittedly said that she doesn't know that 'serious' is what she is looking for at the moment, so I appreciate that.

 

For now we're friends. Two friends who have feelings for each other. Do I want to be with her? Yes. No question there. But this isn't the right time, and only time will tell whether anything will come between the two of us.

 

Yeah. I mostly just wanted to post this to say that I did it, and I feel great about it. It feels natural, I feel no shame whatsoever, and I haven't felt this strongly about anybody in a while, strangely. And if it comes down to it, I honestly (as of right now) believe I will have the courage to tell my family. It'll be hard, but I think I can do it.

 

Oh. And I also wanted to say that right now, to heck with the labels! I don't care what my orientation is - just who I care about and what to be with.

 

[Speranza]

From reading your other thread, I am surprised that you are already thinking in terms of 'wanting to be commited' - surely this is the ideal situation in which to begin to explore who you really are and what you really want?

 

Another thought I had when reading what you wrote befire is that in fact your dating history has included quite a dramatic element of 'what They wouldn't approve of' (interracial, secrecy, etc) so I wouldn't be too quick to label myself either in this case!

 

Why not just accept this for what it seems to be - an attraction which you can take your time to explore. After all, even if women turn out to be who you're really interested in, it would be an incredible coincidence if the first one you were with turned out to be the one you wished to stay committed to...

 

And I'm guessing you have a lot of other issues from what you say about your mother, so - don't rush this, and perhaps look at your patterns in dating to now - did the people all have certain needs in their lives, for example, or were they protective of you, or did they give you a thrill which partly came from it being abit illicit..? Those kind of quiestino - not to change who you are, but to help you be aware of why you might be making certain choices.

 

It's certainly perfectly possible that you're bi or that you are gay and have dampened down all such thoughts because of your family.

 

But you're right - it hardly matters. Even when you're straight, it's hard enough to find someone you like who likes you back, so - go for it! But don't put the pressure on yourself that it Has To Work Out.

 

Just enjoy!