why the hell did i fall in love...should have stayed friends...

[Blackey]

I hate this emotional rollercoaster. It has been 3 months and although i feel that i get better, some days are just overwhealming.

To think that someone who loved you for 5 years would hurt you so badly... I would never even cross the friendship line...if only i knew i would definitely skip this relationship to avoid all of this emotional stuff... I hate being emotional... me and emotions do not go together (im aquarius)

Never have i let emotions overpower me, i always judge intellectually and never involve emotions so i didn't have to deal with this aspect of emotions.

Damn...I wish i never loved her...

[dumped]

You'll get by bro. I was there too. It took 4 months for me to start noticing noticeable difference. Now just hit month 5. I could care less. Still think about her but the roller coaster is gone. She still tries to contact me. Briefly comes back then pulls away again. Its a game of cat and mouse. Laughable to me now at this point. You'll get there. let time do its thing. That all you can do.

[jettison]

But that's like saying, "I wish I would have never lived because I didn't realize how painful living would be!"

 

Life is all about recognizing, and then facing, and then conquering our fears and hangups. You've been given this terrific opportunity to do that. You have to face these demons, look them in the eye, and not let them conquer you, and then you'll come out of it a better, stronger, deeper, wiser person.

 

Just like anything else in life, we have to try a lot, then we have to fail a lot, then we have to be strong enough to not let that rip us apart, get back up, and against all reason, try again anyway.

 

When it's hand to a flame, and you get burned, you learn not to hold your hand over the flame any longer. Now go unlearn that. Romantically, and with lots of things in life, you have to convince yourself to put your hand back over the flame anyway.

[Blackey]

Well i had a pretty good life before her and now it seems that i can not really get back on the truck... thats why im saying that i didnt really need this experience... if i wouldnt have had this experience, right now my life would be pretty good...so that kind of make sense... damn i wish there was an undo button or something

[jettison]

Well i had a pretty good life before her and now it seems that i can not really get back on the truck... thats why im saying that i didnt really need this experience... if i wouldnt have had this experience, right now my life would be pretty good...so that kind of make sense... damn i wish there was an undo button or something

 

Life just feels bad because you can't accept what happened. And as long as you can't accept it, you won't feel ok. I think that when we are let go or dumped by someone, it hurts so much that we want to figure it all out in our heads and kind of undo what happened so we stop the pain. Or at the least, we want to attribute blame to either ourselves or the other so we can make it right in our heads.

 

However, that's the wrong approach. You can't undo it. And you can't make the memories disappear either. Your job is to face what happened and still be ok with it. That said, it's a process, and no one is immune. We all have to go through it on our own time lines.

 

Undo it though? Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind? It defines you, your past, both the pleasure and the pain, and you can't have one without the other.

 

"The joy is not the same without the pain."

[Blackey]

Well one thing i can agree with you, is that you reminded me a psychological theory about stress.

Stress is said to arise from a discrepancy between the reality and the image of reality in your head. The simplest example would be someone who got idea of himself being a really friendly person, but in reality this person is mean, and nobody likes him, so as a result he becomes really stressed and doesnt understand why people dont like him despite of him being such a friendly person, there is a discrepancy between his image of himself to the reality.

A more complex example would be us, the broken hearted, we got the perfect image of our partner, and in this image, our ex still have feelings for us, whereas in reality, most likely the ex does not have these feelings for us anymore.

As a result there is a huge discrepancy in our perception. and the funny thing is that we think that our exs are the ones who put us in pain, but NO the pain comes from inside of us, inside of our brain in form of the discrepancy between our image of the ex and the reality.

I guess that that is why it is said that time helps, it takes a lot of time to gap the discrepancy between the image we have in our head and the reality.

The world keeps on spining in the same way and the world run the same every day, the only way that is different is the way we look at things...so its all in our head.

I guess there are many factos that influence this type of discrepancy, thats why it is so hard to bring the discrepancy smaller, and it takes lots of time and effort to close the discrepancy.

[Blackey]

For how long did you guys date?