will u ever date an asian?

[xyzzzz]

i see ppl say they like (or at least no repulse) dating asians on the internet but fact is..will u hesitate to ask a girl out just cuz she;s asian,even u find her attractive?

well i live in australia.and i feel ppl here are not that open to asians comparing to america? just a guess tho im not sure.ive been told many times that im beautiful and friends say ppl on the street check me out too but ive never been approached?

ppl say im probs too hot that is intimating but they also say"i know some hot girls they get hit on wherever they go" sounds like a paradox?guess i shouldnt believe that im "too hot".

i have a friend she's not stunningly gorgeous.I'd say she's lovely. and she always gets approached and she;s white. sometimes feels like things just changed when it happened to me.and im start to think does it have anything to do with being asian?

[sugardonut]

In my opinion, Asians tend to self-segregate, so if you only hang around with other Asians - guess what? The only people that would get the chance to know you/ask you out would be other Asians. As with general dating advice, put yourself out there and aim to get to know everyone and maybe you will get asked out by a non-Asian, if that's your aim.

 

Also, if you're thinking that you're "too hot" you could be coming accross as snobby so guys don't want to risk being turned down by you.

[xyzzzz]

honestly i dont have that many friends but i do make friends with any race..and also i truly never think im too hot..and believe me im nice and friendly lol..but ive seen really cocky guys tho..when i was asking them lecture questions or something they sounded like they didnt wanna waste time talking to me..it felt bad as if i wasnt good enough to even talk to them.

[Nickk]

I always got the impression that you are usually only interested in other asians. Theres loads of asian girls i think are really hot, but i wouldnt ask them out because i dont think they'd be interested in an aussie guy........well that and maybe because im slightly shy

[xyzzzz]

well i always got the impression u guys only interested in whites

[Nickk]

hehe, i dont know i cant speak for other guys really. But i def am a big fan.......awesome bodies, and cute !!

[Nickk]

And why are you always so stylish, the guys and girls always look so cool and trendy.

[GoneCrazy]

I wouldn't care of they are asian, middle eastern, black, or white, if i like the person then i'll accept them for who they are and not there race.

[xyzzzz]

to NICKK huh..interesting..i honestly dont think asians are extra stylish or anything lol well i suppose ur the minority. otherwise i wont feel different in this country ? lol

[Rangafro]

I haven't been to America so I can't say how it compares, but there is certainly more racism here than I would prefer. That said, there are so many facets to who you are. Why do you assume being Asian is the one thing getting in the way? Having a white friend that gets a lot of attention doesn't prove much.

[xyzzzz]

I haven't been to America so I can't say how it compares, but there is certainly more racism here than I would prefer. That said, there are so many facets to who you are. Why do you assume being Asian is the one thing getting in the way? Having a white friend that gets a lot of attention doesn't prove much.

 

oh well just feels like every methodology that works on other ppl doesnt work on me..and the difference between us is im asian they are white? i dont have many asian friends so i dunno..maybe im wrong

[Tanzi]

Well I can't speak for Australia or America but I can speak for the UK ... though even then I could be widely out of date!!

 

I think there is a huge difference in cultures still and whilst Asian and white people are happy to mix with each other it seems that most Asian people want to date and marry other Asians. From what I have understood this generally comes from parental pressure who want their children to marry within their culture. The culture has a reputation for being very strict too and I guess many white guys might not think they stand a chance with you.

 

My 14 year old daughter has an Asian friend and although he mixes with both girls and boys at school his parents don't allow him to mix with anyone outside of school and he isn't even allowed to talk to girls in school. Obviously he does as it is difficult not too but as far as his parents are concerned he is abiding by their wishes. Apparently he gets punished a lot and my daughter has said to me that his parents "sound scary". Perhaps a lot of it is misconception, I don't know, but maybe its the culture that people find intimidating as opposed to you.

[chelsea13]

Well to the OP, I'm Asian and I grew up in New Zealand so I can pretty much feel you. I've been told I'm pretty quite a lot of times too (not a lot, but enough I'd say), I don't think I'm super beautiful but I'm reasonally pretty, and what else.. I see guys staring/checking me out sometimes on the streets. And I never get approached, and I'm sure that it's not because I'm too hot because I'm not even in the 'hot' category. I live in Asia now so I know that most guys are shy about it.

 

But when I was in New Zealand, I felt like the white guys there are more interested in their own type.. just a general feeling, cos in high school I never really see mix raced couples. However, my sister went to the States and she told me that lots of guys love Asian girls there. I guess it's also to do with that the Asians in NZ are more asian asian if you know what I mean, they tend to hang around with Asians a lot, and tend to date within their own race, and tend to be really Asian like, they follow Asian trends and celebrities etc. But in the States there are more second-generation Asians so it's probably easier for people to accept and date outside their own race.

 

I've heard of similar stories in Australia and NZ, about Asian women not as popular as in North America, and I must say I completely agree. I don't think the white guys in my class ever paid attention to us Asian girls, which is a bit sad because I was attracted to them.

 

But OP, I don't think it's got to do with your race.. I can't tell you why you don't get approached because our situations are similar, so I'm confused too.

[BetterKarma]

I live in Boston and was raised in NYC. I am Asian and have dated mostly white men but I have dated Asians as well.

 

For me, I see mixed race couples all the time. So I really don't think its an issue here but if you do venture out into the boonies, you might find some resistance (based on my own personal experience).

 

I too have been wondering lately why I don't get approached as some other women that I know. Are non-Asian men weary about approaching Asian women because they are unfamiliar with our culture?

[xyzzzz]

yeah that is sad! i think the situation in aus is however better than NZ but still..as to asian trend and white washed..im in the middle .physically i dont look that asian,exotic stuff(no slant eyes and i have high narrow nose and stuff )and i dress like every aussie girl. im just not that tanned since i personally dont like that.as for friends..i guess i fit in fine..but i still always feel different..

[xyzzzz]

I live in Boston and was raised in NYC. I am Asian and have dated mostly white men but I have dated Asians as well.

 

For me, I see mixed race couples all the time. So I really don't think its an issue here but if you do venture out into the boonies, you might find some resistance (based on my own personal experience).

 

I too have been wondering lately why I don't get approached as some other women that I know. Are non-Asian men weary about approaching Asian women because they are unfamiliar with our culture?

 

i always think if there are two attractive asian and white girl..guys will go for the white since they have similar culture.

or ..second thought..maybe they dont think asians are as attractive as whites

[sophie274]

I attend a university in the Northeastern United States, and there are many men who are attracted to Asian women and eager to date them. Without speaking in stereotypes, from what I hear from my male friends, Asian features are generally considered to be very attractive - obviously everyone looks different, but what I'm saying is that they do not have an anti-Asian features bias.

 

I know a lot of mixed white-Asian couples, so it seems fairly common to me. I would say I know more Asians who do not wish to date outside their race than white men who do not wish to date Asian women. There are fewer male Asian- white female couples that I see, I think because of how much height is prized these days in canons on beauty and because Asian men are typically shorter than average.

 

I sort of don't like my own post because it very much generalizes, but those are my macro-level observations.

[chelsea13]

yeah that is sad! i think the situation in aus is however better than NZ but still..as to asian trend and white washed..im in the middle .physically i dont look that asian,exotic stuff(no slant eyes and i have high narrow nose and stuff )and i dress like every aussie girl. im just not that tanned since i personally dont like that.as for friends..i guess i fit in fine..but i still always feel different..

 

Well you sound like you are a really beautiful girl so I think that you have nothing to worry about, it's probably that you are a bit insecure about yourself? Umm, in NZ I really thought that being an Asian girl was less advantageous when it comes to attracting white guys. But I don't think so anymore now that I'm not living in NZ. I'm a bit like you, I'm quite westernised but I do look Asian, not slant eyes or anything, but I still look very Asian. And I find that lots of white guys are attracting to Asian girls (maybe even more than white girls), however I don't see any attracted to me... sad... I know it's cos I don't really put myself out there.

 

Trust me though, I don't think guys would pick a white girl over you just because she's white, I mean once you start talking people will know that you're not super asian cultured like really conservative or anything. So I think you should just be you, and I'm sure you will attract people.

 

The thing about not getting approached is hard to explain, some people have a more unapproachable aura about them, not that it's intended or anything. But people simply gets approached more because they look like they're friendly and flirtatious. But if you do get checked out then it's probably because people don't have the guts to approach you.

[xyzzzz]

how did u find they are attracting to asians? im now just starting to wonder that's only just a thing ppl say..

but hey thx for cheering me up lol

[chelsea13]

how did u find they are attracting to asians? im now just starting to wonder that's only just a thing ppl say..

but hey thx for cheering me up lol

 

Well my comment was probably quite biased as I live in Asia now and the white guys who come here are usually quite into the culture, and of course the women. I see SO MANY mixed raced couples... and some of the guys (from the UK, from the States.. etc) I talk to online are really attracted to Asian women. And that's not because they know I'm Asian, but we randomly started chatting and I found out that they're more into Asian women.

 

I heard that the situation in NZ is improving.

 

Some guys are attracted to Asian girls because they're seen as exotic and submissive, not a very good perception of us though.

 

Then again.. I don't know about Australia, I heard that it is not as racially 'mixed' as other places. At school, some of the white popular kids found us pretty annoying and weird. Perhaps you can try going to other countries and see if you get more attention there?

 

But I've been to Portugal and no one approached me too

[xyzzzz]

lol i see mixed couples every now and then but usually old guys tho lol

once or two it was a really hot guy..

actually if i ever walk with a white guy i feel im being watched more often then i walk by myslef..so ppl do think seeing a white and asian is .."weird"?

[Ascending]

From Canada here.

 

A lot of white men would date Asian women, from what I see, not so common the other way around. It's very rare to find a white woman dating an Asian man.

But it happens, I'm Asian, dating a white woman.

[chelsea13]

lol i see mixed couples every now and then but usually old guys tho lol

once or two it was a really hot guy..

actually if i ever walk with a white guy i feel im being watched more often then i walk by myslef..so ppl do think seeing a white and asian is .."weird"?

 

They're looking cos you are a beautiful girl and people are envious of the white guy, haha

[BetterKarma]

I have never been to Australia but I am assuming if you live in a big city, mix couples are common considering the amount of Asian immigrants there.

 

Maybe perhaps its not our cultures that prevent us from being approached but rather our own body language. I am actually polling my male friends if I come off as unavailable or unapproachable and it's amazing how perceptive they are to our body language. For me, I am confident and it shows in my walk and my interactions with other people. I am not shy and I am not uncomfortable approaching people, which leads my male "friends to have the impression that I am already "taken" and the shy ones to not approach because they are...well...too shy.

[BetterKarma]

No worries Sophie, I get what you are trying to say. And it's true. Different strokes for different folks. I know some white men who would only date Asians because of those features. And of course there are ones that will not. And vice versa.

 

Either way, regardless of who likes what race, just focus on the ones that like you for you and not for your race. And all the others? Well...just ignore.