Respect

[eviljedi]

Hey, dose respect come with confidence or are they two different things?

 

Just wondering because sometimes I feel that people don't respect me as much as they should. Anyone else feel like that, is it normal?

 

Thanks

[QTpie87]

i would say yes, respect does come from confidence (somewhat). um i think that in order to gain respect you need to be able to respect yourself, treat others with respect and don't be a imature about things, like act your age. don't lie to people and have them trust you, give them a reason to respect you.

love Qtpie87

[eviljedi]

Thanks for the quick reply

 

What do you think I should do if someone uses a put-down or something on me? e.g slagging me off etc (not that it happens often, im just not very good at them situations)

 

Thanks

[Meow18]

I think it makes a person seem more mature if they just ignore things like that & don't let it bother them. People who put you down usually do it because they are jealous, or just have problems of their own. It does no good to say something mean back, or use violence or whatever & that makes a person seem immature. Like they can't control themselves. Maybe if a person does something, you should just tell them that they hurt your feelings & leave it at that. No need to do something back.

[eviljedi]

Wow, fast replys today Thanks

 

Yeah, most of the time I do ignore these things 8)

 

But one time, one of my friends just kept saying stuff to me and pissing me off even when I asked him to stop, its kinda anoying

[QTpie87]

well i can already tell you that a lot of people here will probably disagree with what i am going to tell you, but it works for me.

okay so someone comes up and give me a big put down (example) all i do is either laugh at it and ignore them or better yet i'll start making fun of myself with them, not in a mean way just like a joking way, don't really put yourself down because thats no good at all, just be funny about it you know, like they start dissing on you and you start dissing on yourself harder (ONLY IN A JOKING MANNER) and laugh about it while you are doing it. make it look like you are having a ball of a time doing it, maybe get some of your friends in on it. well i know some of you might think it sounds crazy but thats what me and my friends do and it works like a charm. they wont know what the heck is going on.good luck,

Qtpie87

[eviljedi]

lol, I actually tried that but it never really worked out and I just got mad and it lowered my self confidence. I guess it will be best for me just to ignore it.

 

Thanks

[KatieCutie0]

hey,

yeah, in my opinion the two are weaved together. your portrayal of self confidence influences how you want others to treat you, how to respect you.

if you seem to hate your self, or seem uncertain in your ways, then people will think of you like that, and only that. the way you act is the blueprints for the way people treat you, draw well.

i hope this has helped, see you around!

Ttyl, byez.

[QTpie87]

well im sorry to hear that. did you do it right? because they will start to diss even harder maybe for a few days or even more but they will get way tired of it if you keep it up. im sorry it lowerd you self confidence, thats why you do it in a joking manner and you don't say anything that will really hurt you. well sorry, i guess you should just continue to ignore them. there is nothing wrong with that, if they say anything because you are ignoring them, continue to ignore them because that makes you the bigger person and you don't need to have the last word. good luck.

love QTpie87

[Meow18]

I can definantly get what QTpie87 is saying. That way it shows that person who put you down in the first place that you don't take what they said seriously. The point of putting someone down (unless the other person is joking) is trying to make the other person feel bad about themselves (its horrible, but since they have problems, they want others to have problems too), so if you show them that you don't take it seriously, they will back off because they won't find it fun putting you down.

There are many things that work there. Ignoring also works because it shows you don't care & you don't believe what they say. Just don't take what people say personally because people like that will say anything.

[QTpie87]

exactally

[KatieCutie0]

you're all right. self esteem is also another important factor. feeling sad or embarrassed is a low self esteem. low self esteem leads to decrease in self confidence, which will lead to disrespect.

another thing, if someone is disrepecting you, you should let them know. tell them where you stand and how you feel you should be treated.

ttyal. byez. 8)

[Spirits Away]

hm.. There are two sides to ignoring. I think if you ignore in a way that shows you truly don't care, then they won't have as much fun insulting you. Although I gotta say that some people insult for the sake of insulting, it fulfills them whether or not you're bothered by it or not. So in order to defend yourself, you must strike a weakness in that person whom you're talking to OR reverse the situation where what he/she says make him look bad. For instance, if they call you names. You can say something like "I'm just walking accross the hallways and suddenly you just call me an idiot. I have never ever done anything that deserve this, what's wrong with you anyways?"

 

That's just an example, make your own and say it out loud so that not only you, but other people can hear it as well. If you're not ready to strike the attack, wait until you're ready... but meanwhile, don't smile or show any sign that encourages their actions (ie. Ignoring)

 

If the case is not as severe, that is to say if you're truly not offended

ACT offended and say "what the heck was that?"... You must show them your standards. Since THEY might not even notice that they're disrespecting you, they might just think it's fun and you're cool with it. Never do they realize that your reputation might be in jeopardy. Look, if someone see you get insulted and you didn't do anything back. No one will say "hmm, this guy's cool. He's not bothered by these insults." but will probably label you as a loser (if they're the immature type)/feel sympathy/help you/let it pass. I'm personally the "help you" type, but after repetitions of helping, I got VERY fustrated when over and over again the friend DOESN'T set standards and always get picked on. Not only did I create a lot of enemy because of it, the friend lived hell in HS.

 

I think what i'm describing somewhat relates to bullying, but even if your case is not as severe. from experience, you must show them your standard and not ignore it if you want anything changes to occur

 

btw, when your behavior shifts and people realizes. They'll defend themselves by saying you're over reacting and tries to make them look good and make you look bad. That itself discourages people from having their own standards. I'm telling you this because it WILL happen and you must stick to your standard no matter what

[eviljedi]

Thanks for the advice Spirit's Away

 

A few times when I have responded people have said I was over reacting, what do I do then?

 

Is it always better to respond?

And how should I respond?? Insulting them or just deflecting their insult off of me?

 

Thanks

[Spirits Away]

ok, maybe you can give me some details to your situations a bit before i explain how.

 

Where and how do they insult you? Is it just one person or you're in a group of people and a couple of people insults you? and how long has this been going on? what i mean by that is, did the HS people gave you a label yet?

[fantasia2004]

~Spirit's Away~

I think your view of points is good but what I would like to know is if you ignore more often doe this increase the chances of allowing them to continue to insult you more or if you strike out against them knowing that it makes you angry and they can sense it and thrive on it.