My ex was sending mixed signals and I fell for it :(

[holidaybluze]

My ex and I broke up around Christmas. The past few weeks he has been sending me texts like "I miss you so much", "I'm thinking about you", "Soft kisses" etc. So when I confronted him about it today he said he didn't mean them like I thought. He meant it as a friend. Then I started with the uncontrollable texting because I was so angry. He just ignored me. What the heck is that about, who talks like that to a "friend". What a jerk, I feel completely set back now.

[Mimori]

It doesn’t necessarily means he wants you back, but perhaps he still has feelings for you and isn’t 100% ready to let you out of his life. It’s a complicated situation, being as that you two are now broken up, but depending on the length of the relationship and even sometimes just the intacity of it can make people hold onto those feelings a little longer than others (Even guys hold onto feelings for past lovers, they’re just better at convincing people otherwise…even themselves that, that isn’t the case).

 

So basically, he’s getting into the role of being “friends” and letting you know that he’s thinking of you, and being playful. That doesn’t mean he wants you back, he’s just shifting into a new role… perhaps he’s a flirt with his friends… I know some of my friends even say I love you too each, not really meaning it in anyway except friendly.

 

By overreacting you obviously pushed him off, and he doesn’t need nor should deal with the drama that follows afterwards. He was being neglectful to your feelings. You two are separate and he doesn’t have to respond your angry feelings towards behaving to you like he is. If you wanted to maintain a friendship, should have tried to set some boundaries. If you still hold feelings for him and need to move on, try no contact and let him slip into the past.

[newyorkguy]

granted i dont know this guy or anything but it sounds as though he was trying to see if he could win you back if he wanted to and then once he saw he could was no longer interested its seems kinda cruel but seems like he did it so satisfy his ego. hope you feel better

[vertigoxo]

It doesn’t necessarily means he wants you back, but perhaps he still has feelings for you and isn’t 100% ready to let you out of his life.

 

I hate people like that. I mean... If you seriously don't want someone, leave them the F alone, seriously. Life's too short to cling onto people you don't supposedly like. I especially hate it when they transform into jealous losers who don't let their exes be happy with new people. Just makes me soooo mad!

 

Back to the OP... Maybe he's a flirt. If he's naturally flirty/affectionate to his friends, that's the kind of treatment you should expect from him.

[holidaybluze]

I hate people like that. I mean... If you seriously don't want someone, leave them the F alone, seriously. Life's too short to cling onto people you don't supposedly like. I especially hate it when they transform into jealous losers who don't let their exes be happy with new people. Just makes me soooo mad!

 

Back to the OP... Maybe he's a flirt. If he's naturally flirty/affectionate to his friends, that's the kind of treatment you should expect from him.

He's not like that naturally that I know of. I think he just played me to see if he could get me back if he wanted. He doesn't really care. He put me on the rollercoaster so he has no right to complain about it. Just my opinion.

[fLuiD]

Let this be a lesson learned. I would say that about 98% of ENAers go through this situation more than once. I hope this is the first and only time you go through this. If it is not your 1st, I hope it is the last time you do it. Begin No Contact immediately. Change your number, block Facebook/Myspace/Twitter, Change your AIM, Yahoo, ICQ, MSN, Skype, etc or block him on all those services. Don't fall into the back and forth thing. You will save yourself a ton of headaches

[guynextdoor]

You're ex likes to play with your emotions. He needs to grow up and leave you alone. Lose his number asap.

[holidaybluze]

Who fuels chemistry when they know it isn't going anywhere. That is just wrong. I won't be talking to him again. I see him for how he truly is.

[HeartGoesOn]

He's not what you'd call a friend. Next time don't fall for the bait.

[marshmlofluff]

I have had three dumpers. The first remained my close friend, because he never ever let me think or hope there was the slightest possibility of a relationship again.

 

The second 100% respected my wish for NC, and although I know he cares, we have had zero interaction since the dump.

 

The third has hung around like a bad smell, sending me e-mail saying how much he loves me and flirting with me, blogging about me, and re-insinuating himself into my life every time he hears that something bad has happened to me--so that once he is close he can reject me again.

 

Ten points if you can guess which two I have respect for.

[JohnTheMan]

i made the same mistakes. i loved my ex so deeply and had so much respect for her that i refused to see the obvious. when i went NC with her she got desperate and had her mother txt me to see if i was ok. she txtd me periodically that she missed me or was thinking about me. i hopped on ENA everytime to get feedback about her actions. everyone always seemed to think she was reaching out to me. i didn't think it was possible for someone who "loved" you to act so sellfish, but we learn something new everyday. When i got sick of it all i emailed her saying that i loved her and couldn't handle the mixed signals. She emailed me back acting like it was ridiculous that I thought she was sending mixed signals. I felt like such a piece of crap. The entire time i denied strong evidence that she had cheated on me only because she said otherwise. I even got a txt saying "is there anyway i can see you." I flew 2600 miles to see her only to have her cry and tell me of her future plans. What she never knew was that I knew those plans were with the person she left me for. it hurt even more.

 

i think that the obvious is that we think about the person we were with is such high regards that we forget they walked out on us. when she broke up with me, despite whatever ways she used to leave the future open, she knew it was a permanent decision. especially being that she was with a new guy all along. i held onto the good times we had together. i learned that, if you are willing to try again with them, unless the txt says "lets try again" or "i want you back", then DO NOT answer. after receiving updates from my ex new life and then her saying she couldnt meet with me i finally had to tell her, AGAIN, that i dont want to hear from her and i will no longer read her txts or respond (no more guilting me into a response when she asks if i'm ok).

 

i think the worst is i had my ex justify her contacting me by saying "i think its an important part of the healing process. it leaves a good after taste.". Am I a h'orderve? Do not answer. Remember that thought went into their decision to breakup. They already knew the consequences.

[RunCheetahRun]

i think the worst is i had my ex justify her contacting me by saying "i think its an important part of the healing process. it leaves a good after taste.". Am I a h'orderve? Do not answer. Remember that thought went into their decision to breakup. They already knew the consequences.

 

Wow, I can't believe she said that! And it's obvious that she only meant an important part of her healing process.....some are selfish even when they've left.

[holidaybluze]

I don't get people at all. You don't say flirty things to someone and then pull the "I just meant it as a friend" bs. Then my ex said he isn't happy with his new girlfriend, and he doesn't love her, then break up with her. Who stays in a bad relationship.