Unicorn123 Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 I am very interested in having a relationship with this guy I met through volunteer work. However, I am so used to playing aloof... and concealing my fealings in fear of rejection. It's not necessarily to play games-- it's bc I have been burned before by a commitment-phobic ex who really traumatized me. I have known this guy for 10 months now... and either he doesn't get it, or he doesn't like me, or he is shy himself, or he is afraid to ask me bc he thinks I don't like him in that manner. This guy has been really good to me... we ate several times together... What signals am I supposed to give him without appearing to be the aggressor? Link to comment
bruinsy81 Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 I am very interested in having a relationship with this guy I met through volunteer work. However, I am so used to playing aloof... and concealing my fealings in fear of rejection. It's not necessarily to play games-- it's bc I have been burned before by a commitment-phobic ex who really traumatized me. I have known this guy for 10 months now... and either he doesn't get it, or he doesn't like me, or he is shy himself, or he is afraid to ask me bc he thinks I don't like him in that manner. This guy has been really good to me... we ate several times together... What signals am I supposed to give him without appearing to be the aggressor? Have you tried touching him in an innocent manner? I usually don't think a woman may be interested in me unless she has touched me . Link to comment
Unicorn123 Posted February 15, 2010 Author Share Posted February 15, 2010 There was one time when I thanked him for helping me with my volunteer project when I hugged him (like a friend-hug). And he hugged me back with a pat on my back. We haven't met up since... but I'm soooo shy of initiating touch with a guy first... Link to comment
GoneCrazy Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 - Maybe touch him abit - Play with your hair - Look away and look back at him - Move in abit closer when you talk to him but not to close - bite down on your lip These are the signs that i would get. Link to comment
cruzer Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 I got 6 words for you. Would you like to have dinner? U want to date him, u want to be happy, u don't want to be single, but u won't do what it takes to get what u want. If u hold onto what your ex did your just gonna sit back and hope some day some guy comes along and asks you. Sounds like a good plan. Sorry if I appear mean or rude, but I was in ur shoes once and one day I walked straight up to a girl and asked her out. She said yes. I said to myself, wow why did I never do this before? U want rewards u gotta take the risk. Link to comment
GoneCrazy Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 ^^ well said, risk it and get your reward or it can backfire, but its a good way to get your answer. Link to comment
cruzer Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 ^^ its possible for it to end in rejection but then u can know the truth, move on, and one day u will find the right person. If u wait around playing hint games its going to take longer to find that someone, or might not ever happen Link to comment
GoneCrazy Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 ^^ once again well said, also over this time your gonna think "oh man she really likes me " and could leave you to disappointment. Been there done that, and i think i'm there right now. Only problem with the rejaction is if you gotta see her almost everyday or so often that awkwardness. Link to comment
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