How can I approach this girl?

[i miss her 2]

I really like this girl but I only know her on facebook. She is very popular but we have tons in common. We have hardly spoken to each other on there though. She started commenting on my page which I was flattered because she has thousands of friends..so obviously she noticed me. I know she is very busy and has tons of people talking to her, etc.

 

A few weeks ago I actually saw that she was gonna be at this show so I messaged her and asked if she was still going. She said yes and asked if I was. I got there but she was with a bunch of people dancing and I didn't even approach her. I just thought it would be awkward.

 

I sent her a message a few days later telling her I saw her but was too polite to cut in but mentioned that she looked "gorgeous." She said, "Aww thank you =) I had a nice time" I tried to send her another message asking her how long she has been vegan but she didn't respond. She really seems like the kind of girl that kind of plays hard to get or whatever. Or does she just think I'm a wuss or something?

 

So that has been a week and I have not said anything. I really wanna meet this girl, but not sure how to go about doing it.

 

Should I just wait a few weeks ago and send her a very upfront message like, "Hey I think you're really intesreing and would really like to meet you. Would you be interested in having lunch with me?" Even though we haven't been talking. It would be very random I guess.

[brahman]

I have recently realized that if I don't let myself feel good about being with someone until we are actually together, then I am 10x more likely to actually be with them at some point.

 

Now when I say feel good about being with them, many times when you have a deep attraction to someone you feel good being around them or even to have just met them. I have started holding all those feelings back, even during the date a little, only until we start hugging and kissing do I let the feelings in. I think there is a type of seriousness about me that girls like, but that just might be the way my personality shines. It doesn't mean it will work for you. But try it out, see how it goes. I almost don't think it matters how exactly you approach girls, what matters more is attitude.

 

And don't tell her you like her, just ask her out if your gonna be up front. Saying you like someone and asking them out becomes a double positive that has never been good for me.

[i miss her 2]

Yeah, should I just not even try to message her again for a while and then just spring that on her? Hey wanna hang out? Attitude is another thing for me...I think I'm kind of pissed because of what my ex did to me. So what kind of attitude do I really need to have?

[Capricorn3]

You say she doesn't really know you, that you haven't really been talking and that she's very popular and has a lot of friends etc. I can't help thinking that if she doesn't really know you, she may be a little taken aback to be asked out by a stranger. (I know I would, lol). Also, do you know if she has a boyfriend or not? I only ask because you mention she's very popular so one would assume she has a number of guys after her.

[i miss her 2]

As far as I know she does not have a boyfriend. I know she might be a little taken back, but I don't really knwo what else to do lol. This is the kind of girl that doesn't really have time for writing message because she is so busy being amazing. She's incredibly talented musician, director, web designer, etc. She's everything I am and want to be...just not female lol. Seriously though...being a musician I feel like I have to be with someone like me and I have never been attracted to someone else in my life. Not that I can remember anyway..

 

She either really likes being single or is waiting for someone special because one thing I do know about her is that she is a virgin...at 25.

[brahman]

A virgin at 25 says a lot my friend. I would almost guarantee you that she is looking for only serious relationships(if she was being truthful about being a virgin). That's the type of girl who is waiting for love. I would find out a few things before you decide what to do.........

 

1. How far away does she live? Can you come up with excuses to see her without it being too stalkerish? Like for instance you say she is a musician, well is there is a good excuse to go see her play? The other poster was right, you can't just walk up to strangers and ask them out, stop being a stranger and get to know her, and have her get to know you.

 

2. What are your good qualities? you need to find out what they are, and then make them shine in front of her(like my seriousness, I didn't find that out over night), I'm sure you have something and that is what you should work on.

 

3. What if any are previous type guys she has dated? What kind of belief(religious or other) does she have. Like I remember this girl I met who was a volunteer at a homeless shelter, and I volunteered once rebuilding a guys roof that had collapsed in a storm. I know it was once years ago, but it was a foot in the door that got us talking. I don't know how much you guys have talked about music, but you could start there.

[i miss her 2]

BUt I thought alot of guys walked up to strangers lol. I did that once and got a number lol.

 

Ah, anyway...yeah she has a show coming up but it's not something I wanna go to...so whether I should attend is debatable considering that my only reason going would be to talk to her.

 

I had a friend that works for a radio station in L.A. message me on facebook yesterday telling me to enter this contest they have going on where we submit our music and they play it on the radio. I was thinking maybe I could send her a message about it because he did tell me to find other musicians in my area. That way she will see that I am a genuine, helpful, caring guy maybe?

 

I realize that being a virgin at 25 means she is looking for a serious relationship...if she's looking for something at all. She must have her guard up too, which is why I think she will be a challenge. The hard part about all this is I am the same way. I only want a relationship...not just a bunch of girls to sleep around with. I have so much in common with this girl but she has no idea.

[brahman]

BUt I thought alot of guys walked up to strangers lol. I did that once and got a number lol..

 

 

Lol, getting a girls number on first contact is something I forgot about. I do get numbers(sometimes) on first contact, but only ever on first contact. You have missed first contact and are bordering on(I know you) phase. Of course an off hand comment that doesn't sound like your trying to get a date number could do the trick. Like, "Hey I don't have your number, how do I reach you," type of thing. Kind of sneaky, but whatever works.

[i miss her 2]

So I sent her a message like a few days ago (sometime last week) just telling her to send in some of her music to this competition that my friend in LA is holding at his radio station. She didn't respond for days and I just blew it off. I knew she had logged in because she was writing on walls and stuff. MAYBE she really does get alot of email and just didn't notice because this morning I get,

 

"Sweet! Do you want old songs or new ones?

 

You're a sweetie!

 

X"

 

I just responded with a non-flirtatious, "I really like the old songs I have heard. Do you have any new ones that I could hear? I think you should send both!"

[i miss her 2]

Ah, so we have said a few more things to each other. I just can't help but think out of the 1000 + friends she has the fact that she occasionally likes my status , wished me a happy birthday, and just recently told me that if she needs some help with her music she will let me know are good signs. WOuld anyone agree with me? And this has all happened after I have left a few comments on her pics saying, "Omg you're so cute" So obviously she doesn't think I'm a creep or anything.

[wsim]

Giving the green light here.

 

Sounds positive. Why not ask for her number and see if she wants to hang out sometime? Not necessarily a date of course but something casual like coffee/food or drinks and have a nice conversation or chat.

 

Best of luck man.

[Brightest Dark]

It could go either way. she may like you or she may just be friend. I've got a couple of profiles and one has nearly 1000 friends and I may like different people's status who I don't even know, depending on what they put. I've also said happy birthday to some that I don't know - just because I saw it was their birthday and I thought I'd be nice!

[i miss her 2]

Hmm ok. Well, its been about a week since all of that. I know she is in Japan right now...so maybe wait til she gets back to ask her?

[i miss her 2]

And honestly I think she wo uld be crazy to not like me. Is that a good way for me to think? lol

 

I should have asked for her number right after she responded with that! Crap! Lol oh well.....

 

I do know that sometimes her inbox gets filled up and she doesnt see messages because other people have commented on her wall about it.

 

What if I do eventually ask for her number but no response? Im just gonna assume she didnt get my message and ask again? Crap, really should have asked earlier. Oh well.

[i miss her 2]

I havent wrote to her for like 2 weeks now. I am a busy guy, but I think this is a good thing. She can see Im not spending every waking moment trying to stalk her or get with her lol. So...any thoughts? She is out of town now....

 

Thinking maybe I will comment on something soon and then just send her a message like, "Hey, you learning anything good on bass?" Then try to stir it towards getting together for lunch.

[ladyblue07]

yeah, try to get a conversation going about music and see if you can steer it towards meeting up. good luck.

[i miss her 2]

I just left a comment on her new pic today..."So cute"

 

I'm sure it flatters her atleast and makes her feel good.

 

I think I'm going to randomly send her a message in a few days that reads, "I'm not really much of a good conversationalist online. Have lunch with me!" Or I could ask, "Would you like to have lunch with me?" Any thoughts?

 

I'm not sure, but I think she MIGHT be seeing someone...

[i miss her 2]

Any thoughts on this?

[ladyblue07]

Well, if she's seeing someone, it would be better to know that sooner rather than later.

 

I wouldn't mention the thing about not being a good conversationalist because it could look like you have low self esteem (and you don't want that to be her first impression of you). I would just say something like "You seem like someone I'd like to get to know better, so would you like to have lunch with me?" or something along those lines.

Hope it works out!

[i miss her 2]

Hmm I'm not really seeing the low self esteem thing. I think it just shows that I don't generally like talking to people online. Maybe I could word it differently? "I'm not really one for conversations online. Would you like to have lunch with me sometime?"

[i miss her 2]

Do you guys think its creepy if I ask her out online...or do I seem like a loser?

[i miss her 2]

Haha ok so I just sent her the message on facebook. I said, "Hey, I don't talk online much. Have lunch with me sometime. What's your number?"

[Go Habs Go]

Haha ok so I just sent her the message on facebook. I said, "Hey, I don't talk online much. Have lunch with me sometime. What's your number?"

 

 

Not sure if that's going to go over well with her.

[i miss her 2]

Not sure if that's going to go over well with her.

 

Haha yeah? How come? I will admit she has not responded. I feel kinda bad about it.

[i miss her 2]

Decided to write her anothe rmessage yesterday evening. I just said she should come check out my band on Saturday because it's a free show. She responded right away with, "Ive got a friends wedding. Sorry. Have fun and good luck"

 

Atleast she is talking to me right? Is it wrong of me to keep trying...just not in a stalker/too demanding way? I figured a little persistence goes a long way.

 

I'm just gonna respond with, "Hey, that's cool. Have a nice weekend. Thanks for the good luck...it's gonna be a great show! You should come hang out another time."