Is it ok to date your friends Ex

[sk8bmx]

Ok im at a point where i need to make a hard desicion and am totaly confused. Ok I always thought it was a no-no to date your friends ex until now, i have been faced with the problem. Ok heres the deal i knew this girl for a lil while and we were just acquantinces at first. Then my friend dated her and i dated her friend. Things were cool and i just thought of her as a friend but then her friend broke up with me and my friend broke up with her. We still talked but all of a sudden we started talking alot more. I found out me and her had much more in common. I could be myself with her and she could do the same with me. She now calls me her buddy and tells me how she can tell me anything and how comfortable she feels with me. I started to gain feelings for her but now they have grown into alot more. Shes the first person i talk to when i wake up and the last person i talk to at night. She has givin me many hints that she likes me also(like sending me songs with lyrics that explain how a girl starts to get feelings for her one friend: Monicas= I keep it to myself) I want to tell her how much i feel but dont know if i should because of my friend. What should i do?

[magda]

It's only okay if your friend gives you permission. Otherwise you break the code.

[Mattyboy]

Not too sure where I stand on this one.....

 

Personally I wouldn't do it cause In my time I've seen a lot of friendships go down the pan because of it, but it all depends on your mate YOU HAVE TO ASK PERMISSION! it's not worth the hassle otherwise, just take a bit of advice though and if you do go through with it DON'T rub his nose in it i.e. stay clear of him when your with her as much as possible and don't be groping and kissing her when he's there.

 

just remember he was your mate before she was your g/f and you have to respect him.

[amaranth_04]

I agree with what mattyboy said. I would like to add that it depends on how serious of an ex she was. If they were merely dating, not intimate, then yes, do ask your friend to see if he's cool with it. If they were serious, I'd advise to not even go there, esp if he's a good friend. Personally, I see friends' exes as off-limits. If you go for the relationship, the friendship is likely to come apart.

[Rage]

Just remember....friends are more important than girlfriends.

 

Girlfriends come and go... Good friends are there forever

 

I would definitely say, as others have said, speak to your friend first.

[blackswan]

I agree with the above, don't even go there if you don't have a permission. Who knows whether the relationship will work out, and you might upset a friend.

 

You might ask, "why do I have to oblige to my friend, it's my happiness here, what if he says no". I say.. if you take him as a friend, you care for his feelings.

 

I was unlucky, the guy that I went out with start chasing after our mutual friend after we broke-up. I was upset, they both reckon they were only friends and thought I was giving them hassle. They are now a couple, I no longer talk to them and I see them at work.

[Daniel_Edwin]

I've been exactly where you are, I asked my friend and he was totally cool with it. turned out after a relatively short time me and the girl realized we weren't right for each other, but MAKE SURE its cool with your friend before you mess that relationship up.

 

I wouldn't say that a friend is more important than a girlfriend, but I would say that a relationship is more important than what may be a relationship at some point in the future, you've got a good relationship with your friend. Keep it that way.

[spring_piston]

i believe that your friends should not have anything to do with our dating relationships, even though i have not had much experience in this area, i believe that you should decide who you date and your friends should not influence this. if they get mad, they are simply not being a good friend. this should not ruin the friendship though, they should be told that it is not their decision and that your love life should not affect their friendship. if they are a good friend they should understand this.