Am I Wrong

[soporcogitavi]

I just ended a 5 year relationship, i felt disconnected and out of love. We fought alot and the arguments often turned verbally abusive, and at a couple points she actually hit me. I had been debating for a serious time whether i should end it as we had commited 5 years to it and owned a property together. I decided to take a chance and find happiness elsewhere.

 

Yesterday she called me and told me she wanted me to tell her to her face that i wasnt in love with her. She said she would wait for me at my house, i told her this was not a good idea as my grandmother is there right now, and i dont want to get her involved. I told her we could talk if she wanted to meet me at my office after i was done. She Agreed. I went to the Gym and when I got back i received a text from her saying "I will not meet you, you need you time". So i got home and found all my stuff from her house in bags, i called her and asked did you come to my house today, she said yes i got to your house at 2pm, and spoke to your grandmother about everything for 3hrs, then left. She also told me she sent a long email to my brother. During our break up process, i would confide in my family and my grandmother because she stays with us, she told me she didnt like how my grandmother was always at our house, and she didnt like that i told her some of teh problems going on in our relationship.

 

I had asked her not to get my grandmother involved and she did exactly that, and my brother. Am i Wrong for being mad at her for doing this. Or am i making a bigger deal out of it than it should be?

[VeraLynn]

You have every right to be upset, but don't let it take over. Just remember, she is really hurting with the feeling of loss of love and rejection, so she's going to act out in different ways. You have no control over that now, you gave it up. Just be as nice as you can.. and if you really want to go separate ways, your best bet is to take time and space and stay as level headed as possible. I wish you the best through this tough time.

[danix0x0x0]

Yes it was wrong of her to do that even though you told her not to get your grandmother involved but i kinda understand her impatience because right now she has lots of questions for you, to her this is sudden and no doubt a complete shock. I would advise you right now to just put aside what she did for the moment and talk to her about why you feel out of love with her and please don't be wishy washy with her because if she is not satisfied with your reason she will be on your back for ages and rows will continue. tell her now and be honest with yourself when you tell her why you feel like this now.

 

Good luck

[nordland]

Maybe she is just wanting somo help to understand better where you are coming from since you also talk to your grandmother about your relationship.. seems like she is involved already. Women react different in situations like this, feelings of lost, rejections, women need to talk it out so they can feel better. Men close up and try to collect themselves. I am a woman and I understand where she is coming from. I wish I would think like a man sometimes, my life would be golden!

 

Good luck. Don´t be mad at each other and always remember the good time you guys had.

[fLuiD]

If you truly feel that you are not in love with her, you need to tell her. Be blunt, be straightforward, and right to the point. You tell her You are not in love with her anymore, and that if she pulls a similar stunt, you will completely cut her off from your life. It might hurt her, but the sooner she knows what happened, the sooner she will deal with it.

[vaporleak]

She sounds like a freak, to put it lightly. Only crazy people involve family like that, so annoying, I had a boyfriend do that to me once. It sounds like you ended it for good reasons, plus, once someone hits you, I think the relationship is doomed. People can get over cheating, but I don't think there is anything more disrespectful then physically attacking someone, gross.