Tips for lightening the load

[pumpkinmoon]

Some of you will know the story and some wont.

 

Basically things have been rocky lately and close to ending. He then toldme he was willing to put a lot more effort in and since then I will admit I have seen a difference. Whether it will last or not I don't know but I will cross that bridge when I come to it.

 

In the meantime, I would like some tips on lightening the relationship in an effort to lift some of the pressure I think he has been feeling. Currently we see each other on weekends, I go over late Friday night and leave Monday morning. I have already told him that I don't want him to feel that he can't do anything with any of his friends on the weekend just incase he feels he can't because that's the only time we see each other.

 

Has anyone got any suggestions on how I could build on this and lighten things up a bit?

[Mauxly]

Open communication. The heaviest loads are those that we carry inside.

It sounds like you guys are doing alright. How long have you been together? Are you hitting that three month hump?

 

Be his best friend, a buddy, not a burden. Not that you are, but sometimes, once that initial lust rush wears off, people seem like an anchor rather than a sail. Relax, have fun, give him his space...sounds though, like you are doing all of these things!

[pumpkinmoon]

Argh noooo lol We've been together all in all for about 3.5 years with 2 break ups in between. It's been very bad lately and I almost ended it. He didn't seem to care either way, it killed me. He was meant to be picking me up after a night out and was texting me throughout the night and I couldn't bare it. So I told him that if he wants to work it out, be there to pick me up, if not, then don't turn up and I won't bother him again. He text me telling me it can't be like so cut and dry. I told him it was the best way. He then told me he would put a lot more effort in and he was there.

 

We tried to have a talk over the weekend which didn't go to well because he finds it hard to talk. But since then I can see more effort.

 

I just think maybe he feels too much pressure to put more effort in. The relationship really has gotten to a bad stage and I want to save it if I can.

 

I'm thinking I want to make it less serious and more light hearted. I want to try to create a relaxed atmosphere and try to get some of the "going on dates" stage of the relationship back but I don't know how to do it when it seems we have such a rigid routine.

[Mauxly]

Wow, that is tough. Someone on here turned me on to a really great website: link removed

 

There is loads of great advice in there. I'd check it out if I were you. And don't forget, riding out these rocky roads are what make the best relationships. I'll be thinking of you! Keep us posted!

[pumpkinmoon]

I use that site It's great. Thanks for the advice too.

[Blue Skittles]

How about: Plan a night out together on the weekend, go on a weekend road trip together, take a weekend for YOU, or like even a girls night out, get him to come to your place for the weekend for a change of scenery.. ?

[pumpkinmoon]

Thanks, yeah those are good ideas I would like to go for a night out with him or do something like go on a date somewhere and then each go back to our own houses but I'm not sure how I could do that without him thinking it was weird.