My ex texted me. Have I done the right thing?

[bamboo]

Hi everyone. My boyfriend broke up with me almost three months ago after six years. He wanted to still be friends but knew it would take time to reach that stage. I've been doing no contact with the odd hiccup. The last time I contacted him was a month ago and since then I have actually been feeling really good. Then yesterday he initiated contact himself for the first time. It was only a text and all he said was that he was wondering if I was ok and said maybe we could talk on MSN sometime.

 

I was a bit annoyed first of all because I have my finals in less than a week and he had always maintained before that he wasn't contacting me because he didn't want to keep dredging up the horrible feelings in me before my finals, but then he's now made contact when they start in a matter of days Another reason I'm annoyed is that I think I deserve more than a lame text message and a casual conversation on MSN. We're not strangers and I'm more than capable of having a mature conversation with him on the phone or in person.

 

Anyway I text him back and told him I was fine and that we could catch up after my exams. I'm beginning to wish I hadn't bothered because part of me thinks he was just easing his guilty conscience with such unemotional contact. I know he feels bad for breaking up with me before such important exams, and I think he just wanted to see if I was ok, to see if he was off the hook.

 

His contact has not upset me, just annoyed me, and now I'm a bit distracted through wondering what he wants. Do you think I did the right thing by replying? What do yous think is going on in his mind? I plan on ignoring any texts after my exams because if he really wanted to talk, he would call. Do you think this is the right thing to do?

[ForeverMore]

Maybe you should see what he wants. Do you still Love him, Well if you did? It is possible he's just checking up cause he still cares.

[bamboo]

Hi Forevermore. Yes I do still love him, and I know he still cares. But I can't help feeling he should have known better than contact me before my exams. And it just seemed so half-hearted, you know? I'd rather not find out what he wants until after my exams are over, even if he's just after a chat. I do want him back, but at the moment my exams are much more important. I'm trying to just keep focused and not get emotional. I'm just confused really.

[rhinocat]

My ex boyfriend and I broke up last November. It was a one year long distance relationship, very intense, we clicked on a mental and emotional level. However, he was my first real BF and there were many things that I did wrong. Nevertheless, we enjoyed each others company, but I initiated the break up since I thought the long distance was too much and there were things about him that bothered me. However, he said he wanted to break up too because we clearly incompatible on other levels.

 

He said he wanted to remain good friends, but hasn't shown any action. The several times I called he says, "I'm really busy." He never emails or IMs, but for few months he responded to mine cordially and would pop in with the occasional brief email. I came out and asked if he wanted to remain friends, and he said he wanted to.

 

Then as life would have it I accepted a job in the same city where he lives; it was the only job I got so I took it, which means we will be in the same city. Several weeks ago I told him I was coming, and then he stopped contact completely and ignored all form of contact.

 

Part of me doesn't understand why he's giving me all these mixed signals. I want closure from this relationship, and he won't even let me contact him. Any advice on how to find peace and an ending? Since we will be in the same city I want closure otherwise I will have a fear of running into him, or going to the places where he hangs out (but places I want to hang out at).