Three's a crowd

[Scorpio]

Hey, I'm a bit confused about a situation I'm in, and was looking for some advice and other people's unbiased opinions.

 

There is a girl I like, called Beth. I met her at her mother's party about 2 months ago. I was sitting at a table on one side of the room and she was on another table on the other side of the room.

 

We made eye contact a few times in the night when she was walking past or when I was doing the same. I never approached her table as I'm shy and thought everyone would be watching me. Anyways, we ended up meeting in the drinks room. She was sitting down and I decided that I might as well sit and have a chat with her. I was stunned to realize how shy she is.

 

After we had spoken in the drinks room for a while, I left and went back to my table, about a minute after I left she did the same, and came over to sit at my table. We chatted briefly and then the party moved over to her house. She left before me, and when I arrived she was in the front room alone, so I joined her and we continued to talk for approx 2 hours. After which I had to leave.

 

A few days later I spoke to her on MSN, and we chatted a bit, which was good. About 3 days after that I was at her house with my mother as she is friends with Beth's mum. Beth invited me upstairs, so we went up and chatted for about 3 hours, listening to music and stuff. There was some flirting, she touch me thigh and arms and stuff, plenty of eye contact and mirroring. She even at one point told me not to cross my arms because that gives a bad body language signal!

 

Sadly I had to leave, but not before she lent me a video and CD to borrow. We then chatted a bit on MSN for the next few days. I said I wanted to go and see a film and she did too, so we arranged to meet on the weekend that was coming up.

 

I picked her up on the Saturday of that weekend, and we went into the city for a few hours. We walked around and talked, which was fun. We visited some shops and ended up putting hats on each other and stuff, which was flirty and fun. Before we went to see the film I said about going on holiday with a few friends and she could come, to which she said it would be cool and that despite her parents probably not letting her they like me so it could possibly happen.

 

After we had spoken we sat down for a while, and chatted, flirting a bit with touching and eye contact, she had her legs open when I sat opposite her, and other stuff. We joked about, and then eventually went to see the film.

 

Upon leaving the cinema I asked her what she wanted to do, if she wanted to hang about, go to my house or if she wanted me to drop her home (however the way I phrased it wasn't good as I said 'if I'm boring you tell me, and I'll drop you home!). Anyways, she told me she wanted to go to mine. We went to mine and stayed there for a few hours, chatting to one another, and there were only brief occasions when there was silence.

During this time we flirted again, with eye contact, etc, etc. It got to 8pm and we had been together for 8 hours, and the conversation didn't seem like it was forced at all. I asked her what she wanted to do now, as we could watch a video or something but she said we could go back to hers, get a takeout and watch a film.

 

We left mine and went to hers; however, before we arrived at hers we had to get the takeout. When we were in the shop she made point of mentioning that I was copying her body position (which I was). Anyways, we got the food went to hers and watched TV for about 2 or so hours. However, I still hadn't told her how I felt about her, and wanted to make sure that she knew, so I told her out of the blue.

 

She seemed a bit surprised, and when I asked her what was the matter she said she doesn't know what to say in those situations. So I left the topic, and decided not to push her and to carry on watching TV. We didn't speak for a few minutes and then I asked ot use the bathroom. When I came back in the room she looked at me but I didn't look back, I only saw her out of the corner of my eye.

 

Her parents came back soon afterwards, and came in to chat with us. They then said they were going to bed and I said I was going to go home. At this point I saw Beth move her head very quickly in my direction as if she was shocked, but I didn't look at her, I saw this out of the corner of my eye. Once her parents had gone I left within 2 minutes and she followed me to the door, resting against the doorframe. I said goodbye and gave a wave, I didn't kiss her or hug her, I just left.

 

The following day I spoke to her on MSN, and mentioned how I shot out of the house, saying I was nervous and stuff. She told me not to worry, and that it was a good day, and when I asked her if she would want to do it again she said, 'yeah possibly =)'

 

That is the last I've spoken to her really, apart from very rare MSN conversations as I have been very busy with studies lately. However, the situation is slightly more difficult, as a friend of hers, Steve (who I know a little), also has a crush on her…despite him having a girlfriend. They are very close and I think she may too like him. She has told me when I asked that they are 'just good friends', but I don't know whether it's true. However, whenever I have been with her and Steve has contacted Beth, she has spoken to him as little as possible.

 

Steve mad e a point of talking to me on the Sunday after Beth and I had been out, so I think he sees me as a threat, or it maybe that they are secretly together behind his girlfriends back and don't want her to find out about them, I don't know. I decided to go over to Beth's house tonight to lend her a film, but she wasn't there, as she was over Steve's (I don't know if he is having a party or if it's just the two of them).

 

So there we have it, that's the story, feel free to analyse it and tell what you think. I really do need to know, if I made any huge errors, if you think she likes me, etc, etc.

 

Sorry about the post being so long, just there was alot to cover.

 

Thanks.

[bzborow1]

Your biggest error I think was not coming out and showing you are attracted to her. A lot of guys tend to think we have to hide the fact we like them as if it's some "gentlemanly" thing to do, and that's false. Now that doesn't mean to grope her, or even kiss her. You could have flirted with her when you saw her checking you out..."u know i'm not just some piece of meat you can take advantage of...i have feelings too you know"...that kind of stuff.

 

The second thing you did wrong was telling her you liked her, but in adsense of my first point, it's better then not at all. Just think, you're a girl who's with a guy you're attracted to...how fun would it be if he just ended the tension (attraction) by just saying it? Plus it also seems too serious...you know?

 

I think another thing was that you left because you were "nervous".

 

Lastly I think you should just let this Steve guy go, the more you question her about him...the more status he gains w/her...ie...she'll want him more (i never said it makes sense). I think the best thing for you is to just go on like he doesnt exist...like the only important relationship (outside friends, family) to YOU is the one with her.

 

I would just not talking about that night with her again, and move on. Ask her on a date...have fun and do it again!

[mrdagger]

first for someone thats shy she sure had no problem hooking up with steve get the hint this girl is trouble she see's 2 guys safter her so she will string both along and will make up her mind one hint it wont be you come out and tell her that you thought it was inapropriat to go to steves see how she reacts it she gets mad run if not then she genuinely cares for you

[Scorpio]

first for someone thats shy she sure had no problem hooking up with steve get the hint this girl is trouble she see's 2 guys safter her so she will string both along and will make up her mind one hint it wont be you come out and tell her that you thought it was inapropriat to go to steves see how she reacts it she gets mad run if not then she genuinely cares for you

 

Ummm, Steve is possibly her best friend, so i can understand them hanging out together, so i dont see why that is trouble.

 

Why wont it be me she chooses? Im good looking, and i have a good persoanlity (she was saying her cheeks were hurting because i had been making her laugh so much, surely thats a good sign!)

 

And i dont think its appropriate for me to tell her what she has done is wrong/inappropriate, i dont have control over what she does.

[Daniel_Edwin]

assume that Steve is just her good friend, and is concerned about a possible relationship and is checking you out to make sure that your in it for good intentions.

 

It sounds to me like she genuinely likes you. mrdagger may be correct in saying that she is trouble, but you'll be better off finding out then thinking about it and thinking about it and thinking about it until your ready to explode.

 

Worst case scenario, you assume wrongly and it turns out that she is trouble and your in competition with Steve. Otherwise, it sounds like you've got the start of a good, solid relationship. Don't let your subconscious ruin a good thing.

 

Maybe you should have a heart to heart with this Steve fellow and find out where he's at, chances are if they're that good of friends he already knows where your at as she'll of told him. If she is as shy as you suggest, she may just not know how to deal with the situation and is very nervous herself.