Please read and tell me what u think.. NC or LC?

[nychika82]

Ok so my boyfriend broke up with me after 4 years and 8 months of us being together on new years eve over the phone. The reason why he broke up with me is cuz he couldn't put up with the way i was to him (he hated how loud i was, how i screamed at him, how i was clingy, how i called non stop till he picked up and how i treated him emotionally..etc but i never cheated on him), he knows beneath it all im a good girl and have a very good heart (he always tells me this). Basically the glass was filling up till the glass spilled over which was when i said something to him in a nasty tone that he didn't like regarding our plans on new years eve... its funny how something so small could just destroy everything, just needed one more drop to finally say I'M DONE!!

 

Few days later he wanted to come by to talk and drop something off, basically he told me to let him go and he cant be with me anymore, and said time will tell hence he does not have any answers at all what the future will bring for us. He called my best friend on day 4 to ask how im doing over this break up, she never had the chance to tell me cuz i was i missed her call and when she left me a voicemail, i never came around to it cuz i thought she left me a voicemail just to call her back to talk. I called him cuz i was weak on day 5 and needed to hear his voice. I wish i checked the voicemail otherwise i would have never called him cuz i knew it was a huge plus that he cared for how i was feeling. He picked up surprised, but then revealed a few days later that he lost respect for me for being weak.

 

Then we agreed again to go NC and i broke it again on day 3. Then he agreed to stay LC but not see eachother because i cant handle NC and it would be easier on him as well. That failed too because i was being selfish , and kept contacting him almost everyday which he really got him annoyed and irritated. So this sums up 25 days since up breakup and i realized everything got worse nothing got better which is not the way its supposed to be. its very important for him to end on good terms cuz he has too much respect and love me for me as a person. But yesterday i annoyed the day lights out of him then he was so mad and we were on very bad terms because of that. I couldnt sleep knowing that so i called him today to say sorry and spoke for a lil, he still wants to stay LC but i cant as much as it hurts to do so because i will never get him back this way, he will never have the chance to miss me and realize what he lost like i have realized what i lost. I told him i changed and would never treat him this way again, even with our bad times there were a lot of good things he LOVED about me. We were best friends AND bf/gf. He is not taking me seriously with me saying im going on NC cuz its like the boy who cried wolf, he thinks im going to call him very soon, but he is VERY wrong. I came to my senses and decided to do the RIGHT thing. He text me today to call him tomm regarding the email i sent him today i replied back "no just email me" but i never said i will reply, which i plan not to do

 

Ever since he broke up with me i have been a total wreck, all i do is cry, cry, cry, and cry. The reason why i feel this way is because over the 25 days i realized what a good guy i lost because of me. He loves me for who i am, but just hated how i was to him. Wen things were good they were good when bad were pretty bad. i really hope im doing the right thing with NC over LC, is what he wants. i don't want to get over him i jsut want him back.

[JBaker]

One of the major reasons he dumped you was because you were too clingy. Your actions since the breakup have only reinforced to him that he made the right decision because you became even more clingy.

 

This is one of the few instances that I would advocate strict NC. That means no e-mails either! You already broke NC by e-mailing him. Do not contact him in any form. You need to get control of your emotions. You need to heal. Take the next two or three months to heal and analyze what actions of yours helped contribute to the breakup. Certainly you are not solely to blame, but you are only responsible for your own actions at this point. Analyze your role in the split and take steps to FIX those things about you. This way, your next relationship will not suffer from the same problems.

 

Strict NC.

[Sick]

I think you already know the answer to this, the only way you have a chance of getting him back is going completely NC for a lot longer then you have been doing just to show him you can do it, and that you are strong enough. If you really want a chance with him again that badly, you need to work at it. You need to change the way you treat him, you need to be a stronger more respectable person. That's what he wants, and if you miss him enough then you should be able to do this. It just takes a lot of effort but technically it's really easy. Just stay home, recover, take care of yourself, focus on your own life at the moment and don't call him. The more you contact him the less chance you have of being with him again. Just think of it this way, every time you contact him you are pushing him away more. You don't want to lose him completely, so DON'T CALL.

 

You can do it =)

[Diagonal]

I agree with the other guys about going NC. I know it's tough but take it a day at a time and it will get easier.

 

By easier, I mean you'll be able to deal with things with less emotions getting in the way and be able to see things more clearly. I realise you want to get back together and that is possible, but at the moment all you're doing is reinforcing that fact that he left because you've been a bit too clingy and you're still doing it by emaling and texting him etc.

 

If you are to get back together he'll need to see you've changed, rather than you just saying you have, NC will help this.

 

I know it's hard, I'm going through LC at the moment after she left 37 days ago and it's killing me, but the more I do the better I feel and the better I feel, the more I can handle what I need to do to win her back.

 

NC for those wanting to win an ex back, in my view, isn't about getting over him/her, it's about clearing the fog, so you can either work on yourself and your relationship and be happier than ever, or you can rationalize the fact you've done all you can and you'll be able to move on.

 

Try and do a week to start and see how you feel. Every situation is different, some people need to do days, others weeks, others months, to get to a position where you can move forward either with him or without him.

 

It seems counter-intuitive but like the others said the more you call, the more you'll push him away. Give him the space you both need at the moment and you'll both be able to decide what you want to do either way.

 

I still haven't got my ex back yet, but I feel a few miles down the road each week. I've done that by 'pushing' a bit (NC/LC) and 'pulling' a bit (showing her I care and being fun and upbeat when I see or speak to her), when the time was right.

 

Hope that advice helps, remember couples get back together everyday. Stay strong, positive and if it's meant to be it will be.

[Snowgrrl83]

I think NC is the way to go, especially if he found you clingy. This is your chance to prove that youre not clingy. LC will just show that you're waiting byt he phone for his call.