he left me for his ex

[ember]

So... i was dating this guy for a while... & somehow I was stupid enough to let myself fall in love with him. Of course, I was also stupid enough to believe him when she said that he loved me too. well, his ex- girlfriend, who he also loves, somehow came back into the picture & now i'm history. He was my best friend & now he's gotten to the point were he doesn't want to talk to any of his friends anymore. I don't get it, I don't know what to do... all I want is to have my best friend back.

[Jamiegirl]

Its obvious whats happening here. He was using you as a rebound. You are not stupid because this happened to you either you didnt even let it happen to yourself. You trusted that he was a good guy and thats something that you shouldnt just throw out the window with any other guy if you happen to get into another relationship.

 

But for this mess the ex must have seen that he was starting to get over her and didnt like that so she knew that he must have had some feeling for her still. Obviously he did because there back togeather, and now you have lost a friend. Well dont worry about this guy. Try to ignore him and get him out of your lifebecause if he was a true friend he wouldnt have done this to you.

Hopefully this makes sense!!!!

Good Luck

[ember]

thanks, that helps. But I'm not the type to just give up on someone that I care about

[ember]

He's actually starting to make attempts at being nice. It's really akward but most definitly welcome. I'm still not sure what to do. It still hurts to even think about him, & I don't know what to do. I don't know how to get over him. Please help! anyone!

[sassyfrassy]

ember,

trust me i know exactly how you feel. I have had 2 boyfriends in less than a year and both of them went back to their exes. The first one we lived together but he harbored such anger towards his ex, and i knew in my mind that he must have some feelings if he's so angry. I prompted him to talk to her and resolve the anger so he can get over and, they got back together. My last boyfriend it was the exact same thing. But for some reason, i didn't want to believe it was the same thing. So I kept saying, no this is different, but it wasn't. We just broke up a week ago. Both wanted to marry me and all that jazz. My heart was broken twice in less than a year, and it sucks. All I can say to you, is that you just have to move on. There is someone out there who will look at you as the only one. Isn't that what you want? It may not be him, but when you do find the right one, it will all make sense as to why it didn't work out with him. The way I have always seen things, is every relationship that ends is just the universes way of unfolding. You have to go through bad to get to good, and to appreciate the good. It sounds like the most cliched thing, but he obviously wasn't good enough for you, the one who is good enough for you is the one who loves you unconditionally and where you are #1.

[TrueHeart]

I agree, and I'd like to elaborate.

 

Anyone returning to their ex, says they truly never left them in their minds in the first place. Especially if he carried so much contempt for her at first. You were being the bigger person, saying he needs to face the music, resolve it-- bury it.. When it backfired. I do empathize with you. That must have been a hard decision.

 

Sounded like you were a glorified-rebound to me... and that you, for lack of a better term, bought him time long enough to realize obviously that he still loved her. Shame on him for putting YOU through that when he should have done that alone. You have every right to still feel sad and sickened by that when you've been hurt. But don't let that sucker you back into letting him manipulate you. Get it in your mind that he's back with his X, and you're out of the picture.. HIS loss, not yours. If he wants to remain friendly, fine.. Just make sure that you're not so predictable or accessible. If he calls wanting to hang out, even though you're dying inside, just say 'no thanks, I've made plans, but can we catch up another time..?'- if he gets mad at that, clearly he's being selfish and still thinking YOUR life needs to revolve around his... thats not respecting your individuality, identity, personal choice--- especially after what he put you through.

 

I know it hurts, I know you long for him... but if ever you get sad about the way things were... just remember the same instant he told you or you found out about him and his X-- remember that pain... and it will help you better understand why you're better off without a player like him. Most importantly, keep posted on here for more advice and help-- this is exactly the therapy you need....

[ember]

If that's true... then maybe love isn't. I mean... I'm starting to lose faith in that word. Love is supposed to bring happiness but all it has brought so far is agony.