help with figuring ex out...

[acman1]

hi, ive posted a little bit on here, and i need some more help WARNING, this is gonna be a little long...heres some backround...my ex broke up w/ me 6 months ago after a 3 year relationship. she is 18 and im 21. anyways, the reason why she broke up w/ me is because she said she felt lonley and said i fell out of love with her. we had a long distance relationship going since i was away at college most of the time. she still wanted to try to be friends, so i figured that was at least better than not having her in my life at all.

 

obviously the friends thing has been hard on me because i still want to be with her, and i think about her all the time. she has changed a lot since we broke up. she goes out drinking and she has also started smoking cigs now (the cigs are a big deal to me, so is the drinking too).

 

Ive tried the no contact thing, and eventually she will call after a week or so and get mad at me for never calling her. also when we talk, she will just randomly say "i love you" like we used to do when we were together. we have also had sex a couple of times since the break up. whenever she ends up spending the night, we cuddle and do all that stuff and it feels so right. but thats pretty much the only time we kiss is when we are about to fall asleep in bed...

 

im just confused because she tells me she loves me all the time and she gets mad for me not calling her. i really want to be together again, but i really dont know what she wants. anyone have any suggestions about what she is trying to do, or what she may be thinking? thanks. any suggestions are appreciated...also, you can hit me up on aim at gopher1599 if you are bored and have nothing to do

[Michael2]

Where has this relationship progressed in nine months.

 

Other then her calling you and telling you she loves you. No where, sorry to be harsh.

 

She is paying games, you have to offer her an ultimatum, if you do not, this will continue till she finds someone new and in turn has no use for your emotional support anymore. Do not let it get to that point.

 

She has what she wants, the emotional support that you offer, and her independence. These shouldnt go hand and hand when you love another.

[acman1]

what do i need to tell her then? i tried to tell her i cant be just friends with her and she uses that against me. what am i supposed to do? thanks.

[Michael2]

You dont do anything until her head is clear.

 

This is not your issue it is hers. The sooner you realize this, the better you will be.

 

"....she still wanted to try to be friends, so i figured that was at least better than not having her in my life at all. "

Nope, this is the last thing you really need right now. Why, because you love her. That is the problem my friend, your love is blinding you. One day, when the love glasses come off, things will come full swing and your mind will clear. We on this board have a clear mind, let those of us who do not wear the glasses offer you the best advice we have.