acman1

well, i think ive totally lost the skill to make new friends. i dont think i made a single friend since high school. in college i just hung out w/ my 2 good friends from high school, which was whittled down to one person when one of them graduated. now i have moved and i pretty much only have on friend here plus my "sorta girlfriend" (a real long story). anyways, people would say i have nothing to complain about, i just bought a house, i own my own business and i have a nice car and a new motorcycle. the only problem is, im still not happy, and its just because i dont really have any friends. i learned that stuff cant make u happy a long time ago. i just get really lonely sometimes and just want some other people who i can call up and hang out with that want to hang out with me (not just drinking buddies either). whats the best way to do this? i dont go out much just b/c i dont really have anyone to go out w/. i dont care if its a guy or a girl, im just looking for a regular friend. any suggestions?

well we do the cuddle thing and have had sex a couple times since we have been apart....that really messes with my head.

i disagree...sometimes the only way i can really tell my ex how i feel about her is when im drunk. ill go thru the roll call at 3am and call her and its the only time i can let it all out for some reason. ive even actually cried in front of her when i saw her when i was drunk cuz i miss her so much. i think you can talk a lot of crap when you are drunk, but i think when someone is talking about relationship stuff cant be totally discounted when someone is drunk.

hi, yep this is another thread wondering what the ex wants. heres a basic background...together for 3 years, im 21, shes 19 now, she broke it off w/ me for various reasons, blah blah blah. anyways, our "friendship" now consists of her calling me once in a while. we hardly ever hang out, but yet whenever she calls, she gives me the "i love you" when we hang up. she has also changed a lot since we broke up. she goes out drinking now a lot and she started smoking cigs (the cigs bothers me a lot for some reason). well, it was her birthday on the 15th and i sent her a huge flower thing. i didnt talk to her the whole day since she had her phone off for some reason. in fact i dont hear from her till 2 days ago (saturday the 17th?). she called to say thank you for the flowers and stuff and did something really strange, she actually invited me to go somewhere with her and her friends. in our relationship, she never once invited me to go anywhere with her friends. i can honestly say i dont know any of them, so thereforeeee, i told her i was busy and couldnt come. so she calls me again tonite asking me to come by where she works for lunch. i told her ill stop by tomorrow. any ideas about whats up? is she just now realizing there is more to a "friendship" then just calling someone once in a while? she always complains that she thinks i dont want to be her friend, which is kinda true since i do want to get back together with her and i cant just sit there and be "just another friend" to her. this whole thing is such a mess just b/c there is a ton more stuff that is wrong with this situation, but i dont want to write a novel tonight. so what do you guys think? thanks. greg

what do i need to tell her then? i tried to tell her i cant be just friends with her and she uses that against me. what am i supposed to do? thanks.

hi, ive posted a little bit on here, and i need some more help WARNING, this is gonna be a little long...heres some backround...my ex broke up w/ me 6 months ago after a 3 year relationship. she is 18 and im 21. anyways, the reason why she broke up w/ me is because she said she felt lonley and said i fell out of love with her. we had a long distance relationship going since i was away at college most of the time. she still wanted to try to be friends, so i figured that was at least better than not having her in my life at all. obviously the friends thing has been hard on me because i still want to be with her, and i think about her all the time. she has changed a lot since we broke up. she goes out drinking and she has also started smoking cigs now (the cigs are a big deal to me, so is the drinking too). Ive tried the no contact thing, and eventually she will call after a week or so and get mad at me for never calling her. also when we talk, she will just randomly say "i love you" like we used to do when we were together. we have also had sex a couple of times since the break up. whenever she ends up spending the night, we cuddle and do all that stuff and it feels so right. but thats pretty much the only time we kiss is when we are about to fall asleep in bed... im just confused because she tells me she loves me all the time and she gets mad for me not calling her. i really want to be together again, but i really dont know what she wants. anyone have any suggestions about what she is trying to do, or what she may be thinking? thanks. any suggestions are appreciated...also, you can hit me up on aim at gopher1599 if you are bored and have nothing to do

shes the one that dumped me after 3 years. the more i think about it, the more i think its an act...the kid has a father, so why the hell would the court even consider her to take custody...all seems kinda strange to me.

k, well my ex and i broke up 5 months ago. i really want her back, blah blah blah...neways, i dont really call her (no contact). i finally decided to call her and ask her if she could help me drive my motorcyle and car back to where i live in the summer (also where she lives). anyways, while talking, she starts complaining about how i dont call and about how i dont try to be her friend. i really want to talk to her and be a friend, but its so hard because i still have real strong feelings for her. so then she tells me that she's gonna move to georgia to take custody of her cousin's daughter. im like . she starts naming reasons why its such a good idea (get away from the people here, stuff like that). then she says that she wont be leaving anyone here when she moves. as selfish as it sounds, she didnt say a single thing about me. the whole time i was thinking to myself how much i wanted to say how much i would miss her and i dont want her to leave. the other part of me is thinking her story might not be all that true...i dont know why i believe she may be lying to me, but it just seems all weird since she calls me her best friend and she loves me. to me, it just seems like she is using it to get attention from me. i have no idea what to do, or what to say. ive never been a person to tell her what to do. i want her to make up her own mind, but at the same time, if she moves, im gonna lose her forever, which im not about to just let that happen without a fight. so basically, how do i handle this? what do i say to her? do i just tell her i dont want her to leave because of me? help!!!!! thanks. greg also, if anyone has time, id like to talk to someone besides my roomates to get a different perspective, so if you are bored, please hit me up on aim at gopher1599.

ok, so im gonna break the rules here maybe...im going back to the town where she lives to help my parents move out of their house and into their new one. she doesnt know im coming, but i told her little brother i may stop by his house to show him my new motorcyle. the last time i saw her, she said call her if i wanted to hang out, and i do want to hang out...how do i do that w/o looking like im too eager to? thanks for the good input so far guys.

well why does she still get mad at me for not calling? im not the one that initiates anything anymore. i dont call or go see her ever. shes the one that calls me and says she wants to see me.

yep, its yet another post about the "no contact" thing...neways, my gf of 3 years broke up with me 5 months ago (i guess thats a long time isnt it?). anyways, after the break up we didnt talk much, but she still wanted to be friends. we have hung out a few times since the break up. everytime we are together, we end up kissing and cuddling and sometimes more. thats the part that hurts me the most b/c it gives me false hope that we will b together again. anyways, we hardly ever talk on the phone anymore. shes the one that calls me like once every 2 weeks max. about 2 weeks ago, i finally wrote her a letter telling her exactly how i felt (i know, the stuff i wasnt supposed to say). i told her i love her, i miss her, and i want to be with her, but at the same time i cant be just a friend to her. well...about a week later, she calls me and says she wants to hang out. so we meet up at steak and shake and do a bunch of bs small talk. it comes time to leave and we hug and say goodbye w/o talking about anything "important". so...we leave and about 5 minutes later she calls me and ends up coming over to my parents house where i was staying for the weekend. she gets in my car and tells me to drive. we start driving for a while and do the bs small talk stuff. eventually i realized i was driving in the direction of my condo in another city where i live (about 2 hours away). somehow we end up going there and she spends the night. we did the typical kissing/cuddling thing we do, and then just went to sleep. i drove her home early in the morning and she slept the whole way. so basically, we didnt talk about anything important. she took shots at me for stuff i screwed up in our relationship, but thats about it. nothing solved or anything. that was about a week ago, and i havent heard from her since. i really dont know what she wants, or what i should do. ive told her exactly how i feel and what i want. i just wish she could do the same...any suggestions? sorry for the long post...thanks. greg

well, you arent the only one who feels the same way. im dealing with the exact same thing (except i still liked the sex w/ my ex )....neways, i dont have much advise for you except just try to go out and do new things. i know its extremely hard to do, and im still barely able to do it, but each time i do it, i get a little better at it. i dont really know how to "socialize" either. i dont know what to say to people when they talk to me too. the only way to learn is to just go out and try. thats what ive been doing, and its working a little...hope that helps.

yah, i was kinda thinking the same thing. in a way, i am afraid to be alone. but on the other hand, i really care about her. she does mean everything to me. i just know that i am the happiest whenever i am with her. what you said makes perfect sense tho.

hi, im new to this board. i've been reading a lot of the posts, and have read a lot of good advice. here's my sit. my g/f of 3 years recently broke up w/ me about 3 or 4 weeks ago. i've been kinda a wreck since then. we have a long distance relationship, so we obviously have to talk on the phone a lot. our phone conversations suck (mostly my fault for not thinking of things to talk about). and that is part of the reason why she broke up w/ me. she also says that i'm not in love with her anymore and that i don't care about her. in reality, i've tried to do everything in the world to make her happy. whenever we are together, everything is fine, and we are both happy. this is the second time she has broken up w/ me also. i kinda think that there was something else that made her want to leave, but i have no idea what. i wrote her a letter asking her. that was the only contact i've had w/ her since she broke up w/ me (not counting the night i called her drunk thinking it was someone else). she said she still wants to be friends, but that seems so hard since i am so attached to her. i want nothing more than just to be with her. what do i do? thanks.