How can I make him come back?

[stacy]

I am 19 years old and my bf and I had been together for 1 1/2 years and we had the occasional fight, but over all he was very sweet, always there for me, and had plans of marrying me. He said he would never break my heart, and always put me first in everything he did. He couldn't stand being without me, called all the time, and always was very polite and held a good relationship with my family. He went on vacation with us, and even went fishing with my dad alone for two days. He has had some problems with his family, his dad was an alocholic, and eventually caused my bf to move out into his uncle's house. He still goes over there almost every day and keeps in close contact with them. On Wednesday, I called his mom's house cause I knew he was there on his break from work, and I had one question to ask about if he could pick me up and take me to work or not. SHe was rude to me and wouldnt talk to me, said it was not my business to be talkign to him. THis caused an argument between me and my bf, but he did take me to work, and by the time he came to pick me up, he was over it. We always get over arguments within a few hours, or over a nights sleep. ANyways, he was at my house that night, even making plans with my dad to fix our fence this summer, then he goes home, says he will call his mom on three way to ask why she was like that. She wasnt home, so he told me if i wanted to get it straightened out, to call her back. I did, she wouldnt talk to me, called him instead and told her that i worried her into almost having a heart attack (not true). She said many mean things about me including that I wasnt worth anything, and he called me and told me didnt think it could work out anymore. I went up to his work the next morning and made a fool out of myself basically, because he was ignoring me, and being a huge jerk like hes never been before. He said that he didnt love me anymore (even though he told the woman he works with that he does). He seemed like this violent, mean, person that hes never been before and will not listen to me, he told my mom that he needed some time, but sounds like he wont even listen to me about tryin to work it out. He also says that his parents told him if he ever goes back to me, they wont speak to him anymore. ALl i can do is sit here and cry, drive by his house, and wonder why he isnt missing me, when before he couldnt go an hour without hearing from me. I want him back so bad and i dont know what to do, i cant eat, sleep..all i can do is think of him and wonder if he loved me so much how can hebe hurting me like this. He sees i am in pain, why cant he make it stop like he always has. DOes anyone have any advice?

[thegoodgirl04]

Hi Stacy,

That's a tough situation and maybe he does just need time. He might be going through a rough time in his life, and not that he doesn't care about you and want you to be there for him during this rough time, but maybe he jsut needs to go through it by himself and he doesnt want to bring you into it. My advice would be, as tough as it is, to just let it go for now, he'll talk to you when he's ready. I know it's hard, but this is something you might have to do, and you have to remember to take care of your self and not let it get to you. Concentrate on your work or school or a hobby you have, then when and if he's ready to come back you'll be stronger.

Take care of your self and good luck, I hope everything works out for you!

[stacy]

thanks so much for your advice..and i was trying to heed that advice until tonight and i dont know what to do now. Can anybody give me any suggestions? TOnight, the boy that just broke up with me drove past MY house with his music really loud, then i open the door to see whats going on..its him pulling in our neighbor's driveway to drive by again when he could have just kept on going. He sees me step into the yard to see whats up, stops..starts to back up, then steps on the gas and goes right past our house, stops again, goes..and stops once more before he continues on. What does this really mean and how should i react?

[DragonGirl724]

ok one word. MOMMASBOY!!! he is heavily influenced on his overwhelming mom!! its so obvious. she pressured into 'hating you' or at least saying he does. hun give him time to be alone i know how angry u feel i had problems w/ my ex's mom too at first she hated me!!! it was SOOOOO bad!!!!! my now-Ex spoke up tho & told them how great i am & they started to talk to me little by little...they were sooo mean to me his whole family!!! mom, dad, & sister. at least his dogs & his cat liked me.. but it took my ex breaking his foot & me LITERALLY rubbing his feet for 2 weeks & bringin him to the hospital at 4am for them to finally relize im not sum chick their son is dating. but seriously he needs time alone w/ little to no pressure as possible im so sorry u fell victim to a mommasboy. i hope he comes around & comes to his senses that hes never gonna be able to marry his mom & his mom needs to let go!!!

 

good luck be strong, give him time.

-DG724

[stacy]

okay now i need serious help and advice!! My ex called my mom while I was at work on Monday and Tuesday. Tuesday she talked to him for an hour while he was crying to the point of throwing up. He said that he missed me, he couldnt even work that he didnt have to walk out because he would start to cry. He missed my voice, he missed me being there for him, and he wanted to be there for me too because he always has been in the past. He told her that he didnt want to be with another girl, and he couldnt stand the thought of me being with someone else either. He also said that because of his mother, he didnt feel things could go back to the way they were so he wanted to be friends and start off by talking for now. SHe asked him if he thought they could ever go back, and he just said he didnt know. SHe said, well maybe you need some more time and space to think about things, and he said he couldnt take any more space, if he had to keep going without me, he just wanted to die. HE says he cant sleep at night, and every day is like hell to get through. SO he said for her to talk to me, see if i would want to talk to him and he would call me on Wednesday if i did. SO...i wanted to try to talk to him, so I had him call on Wednesday. HE started off the conversation by asking me how I was and i said not that great..and then i said how are you? He says: awful..I then said, well how is work going and he says: awful, everything is like hell without you. ANd then I was like..well it doesnt have to be, I'm here for you. And then its like all of a sudden he just puts up this wall and starts saying that no, we can't go back and he never wants to see me in person again, he was just calling to say he would telephone me twice a week, and help me through this hard time. (WHat I am wondering is how do u break someone's heart and then help them get over it??) He then would preceed to go back and forth on everything. I said do u want to see someone else for now? and he says no, I want to be alone. Later on in the conversation, he said that he met a girl at the store and he tried to see her to forget about me , but he cant. (He is not the kind of guy to just meet some girl in a store) THen he said he wanted to see me date another guy after he told my mom the day before it would kill him if he saw that. THen he said that I didn't treat him well enough, and I might still have arguments about his family if we got back together, but then he turned around and said he made a huge mistake letting the woman of his dreams go, and he would never forgive himself. He said even if u forgive me, I cant forgive myself. And then he just kept saying he was in pain, but we could never go back, that life is not fair, and nothing will change that. Then I finally said, Pedro, what do you want? and he said that he was confused, he didnt know what he wanted in life, he would be better off dead. I had another call, so I told him to hold on, and when I come back he asks me all these questions and gets all defensive saying it was another guy. IF he doesnt want me and says he doesnt care if I am with someone else, why would he do the 20 questions thing?? We finally hung up and he said he would call back tonight. Why is this guy doing this??? What should I do if I wnat him back really bad?? HELP please