A lonely Christmas... and the parents don't help

[Allyo]

Okay, I need to vent. This Christmas was completely depressing for me. I feel completely unappreciated and lonely! I’ve spent all my time online and on enotalone… Basically I am working on my master’s degree far away from home, and so this holiday season was the first time I’ve gotten home to see my parents and sister for awhile.

 

To start this Christmas felt completely lonely because it was just my parents, my sister, and I. My grandma recently died and it just re-enforced all the past family conflicts. My mom has an abrasive personality and further pushed away some of our relatives. I always feel like it is better to put differences aside and come together for the holiday season, but not the case with my family... My mom spent the entire time talking trash about the rest of the family and it just completely annoyed me.

 

As if that weren’t the only problem, my dad and sister randomly blow up at me for little things. Like the other day my sister was all upset over a mess in the kitchen and immediately accused me and ordered me to go clean it up… when I hadn’t even been in the kitchen all morning! And today my dad got upset with me for not feeding the animals (4 cats, 1 dog, no big deal)… He saw my mom doing it after work, and since she had to work the day after Christmas he got all upset. He was yelling at me, saying that I wasn’t helping out. I was so upset I couldn’t even say a word to him since I was afraid of what I would say. I voluntarily did THEIR laundry, washed THEIR dishes, and helped my sister cook dinner. It isn’t like I sit around doing nothing. I’m not living here, I moved out when I was 17 years old and I don’t necessarily know the routine of the house/chores. I never respond to them yelling or with this behavior since it just seem pointless to me.

 

I suppose there are other little things that make my feel uncomfortable. I don’t see eye-to-eye politically with my father. I am a vegetarian and my father is a devote meat-eater. They see it as almost rude that I would make an extra effort to prepare vegetarian food when they cook something else, but I don’t critique their food choices.

 

I almost feel guilty since I feel like I should be enjoying the short time that I have with my family. But I honestly can’t wait to get back to school, my friends, and my normal routine.

[alli]

Families are rarely that stereotypical happy group you see on tv at Christmas time, being all lovey-dovey & singing songs.

 

I won't go into the details of my family Christmas, but it's definitely not all smooth sailing. You enjoy what you can, put up with the rest & & grin & bear it until you get home. There are things about my family that are annoying. I acknowledge (quietly, to myself!) how ridiculous it is, then try to let it slide like water off a ducks back & move on. I'm sure your family has a few good qualities. Try to focus on those & ignore their negative comments if you can. Keep a level head in your responses. You'll get through it!