No contact rule at beginning of relationship?

[RandyB]

I've had a couple of good romantic dates with a woman recently. We knew each other fairly well before we started going out, so we knew we were attracted to each other. The dates were two weeks apart and since business brings us together fairly often, I've seen her a few times in between.

 

I don't feel like I have to ask her out every time I see her, or get her to commit to another date while we're already on one…or should I? I'm just trying to be cool and casual about it all, but how cool is too cool? I'm crazy about this woman and want it to last, but I don't want to seem desperate or needy. A buddy of mine tells me "the squeaky wheel gets the grease," but I told him a squeaky wheel also gets annoying. She seems very interested in me, too, but very shy, so I don't want to blow it. Girls, assuming you had gone on a couple of really good dates with a guy you probably want to see again…how often should he think about coming around?

 

Thanks, RandyB

[Johnny_has]

Well I'm no chick, I'm a 21yr old male. Here's my 2 cents.l

don't feel like I have to ask her out every time I see her, or get her to commit to another date while we're already on one…or should I?

No you shouldn't. Let me tell you this though, If she has a very high interest in you, she'll most suggest doing something again sometime.

 

I'm crazy about this woman and want it to last, but I don't want to seem desperate or needy

Haha yeah, it's a nice/strange feeling... don't act on it though, don't call her every friggin' day and say how much you miss her. Only use the phone to organize dates. Don't chit chat on phones, leave the chit chat til the date.

 

how often should he think about coming around?

How much should you *think* about coming over or how much *should* you come over do you mean? Obviously it sounds like she's on you're mind 24/7. Again not everyday. I usually lay off the contact for 3-4 days before I set anything up. Good luck. Remember, don't let that desperation seep throught or she'll go running like the wind

[AB38]

Good stuff, Johnny. I totally agree. At the beginning you need to a little bit mysterious, but don't play games with her. Ask her out again, but leave the conversation for the date. Be charming and witty, but not smothering. You will know when you reach that comfort level in the relationship.

 

Also, go rent the movie "swingers". That movie tells it all, the good and the bad on dating.

[The Morrigan]

You also might try interspersing some more "casual" stuff, depending on the things you like, like say you have to shop for a present for a relative, a trip out shopping to get her input and maybe grab lunch or coffee is a good chance to talk and also get a handle on some of her tastes for your own benefit while you're at it.

 

A nice day can make for a spontaneous walk in the park and grabbing some hot dogs from a stand, with more chances to talk and just enjoy company for a short time, not everything has to be formal dates, and can be more relaxed, especially if she's the shy type

[RandyB]

Thanks,

 

I like the idea about doing casual stuff. What we've done so far has all been dress-up, so I'm thinking a movie or a drive or something. My main concern is not to be in her face all the time, but also to see more of her, too, and I don't know how to balance it.

 

RandyB

[Belle]

Hi Randy,

 

I personally don't like it when a guy feels it necessary to play games. I actually become more interested in a guy that I'm moderately interested in when he takes the initiative to try to see me again while he's still on the date. But I really respond well to a guy that is nuts about me. It can turn an average guy into a potential boyfriend for me. Not all women are this way so you'll have to feel out the situation.

 

There's something very sexy about a guy who has the confidence to try to pin you down and let you know he likes you. But you have to be able to pull it off without appearing needy. This is a big turn off. If you can't do that, then wait a few days before you call her again. My last ex was constantly calling and asking me out and I loved it, but again, not everyone's this way.

 

Belle

[Mun]

Hi Randy,

I suggest that at the end of your next date you suggest another date. Don't call her everyday but do let her know once in awhile that you are still around. Calling once a week is nice enough.

 

The quickest way to a womans heart is to show her, while on a date, that you enjoy her company. Listen to her, notice her, compliment her. Have you two kissed yet? When the time is right- a kiss- does the trick.

 

Often a lady doesn't know yet how she feels about a man till that first kiss. Not trying to make you nervous here Randy, just some inside info.

[Ingrid]

If you are afraid to show your interest and she is shy, it may never work out, or another guy may be more gutsy.

 

If she likes you, there is no reason why she would not want to get exclusive. If she does not want to, you may not be her type and she may be looking for someone else.

 

How do you find out ? If she says yes to all your invitations, the chances are she REALLY likes you and she is not MANIPULATIVE. If she says no sometimes, without volunteering an explanation, then may be she likes someone else or she is still looking.

 

If you think she likes you, go for it before she meets someone else.

 

Good luck