Where Do I Go From Here?

[Jabbe]

It's hard for me to see exactly how people actually get ahead in this world. I'm always looking on the bright side of things. I always have a positive attitude about life in general, but now all I feel is hopelessness. Even if I change my attitude, my situation will remain constant.

 

I'm always trying so hard and giving my best in everything I do, but nothing is showing for it. Realizing that it's possible that hard work won't pay off is a scary thought. This is the real world after all, and money seems to have more control over my life than I feel like I actually ever will.

 

I just don't get it, and I don't think I ever want to. I just want to go far away and be alone just so I can get my head together. This really sucks. :sad:

[MrWallFlower]

You don't say exactly what the situation is. But, yes, you can have a positive attitude, be a good person, etc. and bad things still happen. There are also some people out there who try to hold others back or are in positions to use people or make their lives miserable.

 

Keep the positive attitude but change the situation. Maybe a change of job or a move to a new city. My experience has been that it's not what you know but who you know. If you are a good person, people will see that. Some will take advantage of you others will respect you and admire you.

[Jabbe]

I've only been in my new city a few months trying to go to school after getting divorced after 2yrs of marriage.

 

I just wanted to start a new life and do something I'm passionate about, but now I have no idea of in the world of how I'm gonna pay my rent or if I'll even be able to continue school. I'm behind on so many bills for the first time in my life, and my world is feeling like it's falling apart. There's just nothing I can do and no one who can help me. It's so depressing. It's like I made a wrong turn in a maze and can't go backwards.

 

I've been trying to maintain a positive attitude, but it's just so hard because I'm afraid of the reality of my situation. A positive attitude can only take me so far before I have to get my head out of the clouds. I'm gonna be so miserable if I have to move back home. There's nothing else I want from life.

 

You're right about the who you know. That's one of the things that was crushing blow for me. My effort and sacrifices just went out the window.

[MrWallFlower]

I didn't mean have a positive attitude as in pretend everything is okay when it's not. Hey, if the ship is sinking abandon ship. I meant for you to see the positive side of your situation. Don't regard your decision as a mistake, you just need to try a different approach. Make it a point to meet people and network etc.

[catfeeder]

The fact that you're usually optimistic speaks volumes. It's your crucial statement. I hope it's a comfort for you to know that everybody goes through pits, and while they're temporary, they certainly don't feel temporary at the time. They don't make you a freak, they just make you feel like one at the time.

 

Good news is, as isolating as this time feels, it's a state that everyone can relate to, and it can be seen as a sign that you're moving some bricks around mentally and emotionally. This can have a very positive effect on your life. What feels like crap right now can be a sign that you're actually doing some foundational work that will pay off down the road. Lots of people refer to these times as 'growing pains' for a reason.

 

It's not a good idea to start speaking terms in your mind like 'always' and 'never' because while you may believe them to be accurate while in a pit, they're a trap. Don't take the bait. If you start thinking in those terms, you can cause them to become self-fulfilling. Then you get to be 'right,' but at what cost?

 

Your optimism will patiently wait to break through, so why not help it along by affirming to yourself that everything is temporary? That is accurate, because everything changes. You get to choose what your current state changes in TO. It's frustrating when you can't see beyond current limits to envision new directions, but if you'll relax and trust that your sleep states (and any mind relaxing you can do, say through workouts or meditation) will create new possibilities and options for you to become aware of.

 

Write more if it helps.

 

In your corner.

[Jabbe]

Thanks for your responses. I'm feeling down still, but I'm doing my best to push all of this out of my head. I guess I should be happy that I'm at least alive and healthy. I know that many people are going through the same thing like one of my friends here and it's just one of the things that irritates me. Things seem to be so hard all around for everybody, and it just adds to the hopelessness. The dreams about abusive my ex-wife last night didn't help much either.

 

I guess I'm just in a pit at the moment and should just let my life take me wherever it wants like a leaf in a stream because trying to control it sure isn't working out. I've done and am still doing everything I can in regards to finding a job and making all A's in school. The thought of being limited is something I only had in my mind but something that's never actually happened to me. I guess I'm just afraid of what's going to happen if I leave. I'll just feel like such a failure.

 

But no more thinking for me. I was really depressed and am gonna do my best to turn this around. I'm actually going to the gym right now to get out of my rut of doing the exact same things day in and day out.

 

Thanks for the advice on networking. You're totally right about that.

 

(Deep breath) I'm outta here.