How to take this?

[cbh1979]

I have this friend whom I used to talk with on a frequent basis. Within the past few months, though, that hasn't been happening. She's taken longer and longer to reply to emails and what not, though in each response she apologizes for taking so long to write. I was starting to see that I was instigating all the contact when, in early Nov she wrote and asked how things were. I responded, but she never replied. On FB, she mentioned a food drive, and twice over the span of a week I offered to donate...no response. A week or so after that I learned something about our former workplace and emailed her to tell her about it, as we both kept the other informed of the latest gossip...again, no reply.

 

Anyway, I ran into her over the weekend. Almost immediately she apologizes for not writing, said she's been busy with this and that and so forth. We talked for a few minutes, then she said she would email me when she got home. She didn't.

 

What I'm wondering is, what message-if any-should I get from her lack of communication? I see threads on here sometimes about dropping friends...if you were me, would you suspect her not responding is an attempt to do just that? I guess I don't understand how someone goes from talking with you a lot to barely replying to messages. People do get busy-I know I do-but at what point does that become just an excuse?

[MrWallFlower]

I wouldn't neccesarily see it as her trying to drop you as a friend. It could be that she is going through some personal crises (relationship, health, financial) and is unable to focus on the not so important things in life. Some people are good at hiding their personal problems.

 

Assume that is the case and let her know that you are there for her if she needs you and that you value her friendship. Then, wait for her to come to you. If, indeed, she is trying to drop you as a friend, at least you were a good friend to her.