The Secret

[cabernet]

I'll tell you in one word what the secret is for me to get over this breakup: PRIDE. I've failed at very few things in my life, and every lover I've had has fed my ego like a raging furnace. They called me a god, kneeled and prayed at the foot of my bed not to leave them, told me I was the best at everything. My pride became a hot air balloon that I thought could carry me all around the world. Now the shoe's on the other foot. I have no pride after my last dumped me in the cruelest fashion, and I'm quickly learning that a life without inflated pride is the true lasting key to happiness - perhaps. Not to get down on yourself and beat yourself, but simply to see yourself as you are - good and bad. No lies. No distortion. Without optimism or pessimism. Pride has kept me from pushing life's limits. Pride has kept me from being honest with others and myself. Once a pedestal, it became a cage, and now I am free.

I don't know if it works for others, but I'm going to try and enjoy this time of humility which is the starting place of all wisdom and learning. Hope you can do the same.

[drifter]

I feel pride gets in the way of many relationships and contributes to its failure. Pride is setting yourself aside and letting the other person have there say or way. It is very hard to let go. Some people never will and some people don't feel they ever should. Just different not wrong. But pride does make reconciliation much harder. There is also a difference between pride and comprimising yourself. FOr example bad pride- I am not going to call her until she calls me. She left me why should I call her?

Good pride-I am a worthy person. If she doesn't want me for who I am then so be it. I am worth having. I will not change the things I like about myself to fit her in my life.

I let go of pride recently when I broke the NC rule after 1 /12 months and called her. This is after I told her I was never going to see her or talk to her again. I ment it when I said it. But I let go of my pride and ego. In my situation it has gotten desired results (a lunch date next week to talk about things.

Good post Cabernet.

[kuhl282000]

Hello

 

I liked what you said in your post. I wanted to add that pride is a very good character trait to have. It makes us part of who we are. I believe it is false pride that makes us all at times do stupid things. I sure know I have, and especially in the name of love. It is that false pride that sometimes stands in our way. And you are right when you said you are learning a lesson in humility. To be humble can bring us all to our knees at times. It sounds like you are on track now. When we get dumped it messes with our self esteem, and our mind can play funny little tricks on all of us. I'm glad your sense of awareness is allowing you to enjoy some of lifes secrets. Life is full of surprises.

 

Kuhl

 

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