Help! I need Advice

[freaking]

I have been dating my current boyfriend for 2 1/2 years. He is in the military and he wants me to decide now if I will go with him in 1 1/2 years when he has to leave the city where I grew up and currently live. If I do not plan on going with him in two years then we will break up. Making this decision now seems a little silly to me on the one hand but on the other I understand that he doesn't want to continue our relationship if we have no future together. I do like him a lot but going with him would mean moving every 4 years to who knows where for the next 20 years. He is not willing to get out of the military and stay here with me. He doesn't like my mother in an e-mail I wasn't suppose to read he called her a female dog except he didn't use that word and I know he thinks I am too close to my family. This is currently one of our main issues. He has a problem with going over to dinner at my parent's house and insists that I won't go to see his parents who live on the east coast. Honestly I don't really have a problem with his parents but I don't feel comfortable or like visiting them. I feel awkward is social situations. We currently live together and if we were to break up I definitely do not want to move back in with my family. That would horrible for me. I'm not sure how to make this difficult choice. We have broken up and gotten together numerous times already. He seems jealous when I spend time with my friends. I find it hard to let go of him but I don't really want to go with him. I need your help! Thank you!

[bebelight]

He's sounds rather controlling? I don't know about this one... Do you feel forced into this situation? Because if he really loved you, he would work with you, not throw you on your back with an ultimatum that revolves around him. I've been in controlling relationships, and they are not fun. It's easier to recognize that he is trying to control you and cut you off from other people, so that you can confront him about it. Why dont you just let him know what you want, straight up.

[freaking]

I would let him know what I want but I'm not sure about what I want.

[dieguez]

Tell him you will definitely go with him in 1.5 years.

 

When the time comes, either you'll be really into him and you'll keep your promise, or you won't be into him and you'll dump him so it won't matter that you broke your promise.

 

That's what he gets for making such a ridiculous ultimatum.

[Ms Darcy]

It sounds like there are fundamental issues in the relationship and you don't seem to see a future with this man with his life mapped out the way that it is.

 

You say that you have broken up frequently. Can you move out on your own if you break up again. The biggest concern here is that you are not financially independent enough to live on your own since you don't want to move back in with your parents.

 

Ultimately, temporary financial comfort does not solve the long-term problem of incompatibility, conflict, and uncertainty.