So lonely I could cry

[Jeffrey19]

I've moved to a different town with my mum 6 weeks ago and things have just gone from bad to worse. At least in my old town(some 300 miles away) I had a few friends and a job.

 

Right now I have nothing. No friends, no girl, no job.... basically, no life. The only humans I talk to are my mother and the person at the checkout register when I'm shopping. Other then that I live in pretty much solitary confinement. I'm looking for a job but to no avail so far. Friends, well I never really knew how to make friends in the first place anyway, the only reason I had friends before was because they approached me and asked if I wanted to hang out. Doesn't happen anymore.

 

Girls, pfffft, forget that. Without having some guy friends around I would be way toooo clingy and desparate with a girl. Don't get me wrong, I want a girlfriend, but in my state of mind I'm just trying my best not to get attracted to anyone. Once I get attracted to a girl and they don't feel the same I just feel 10x worse anyway.

 

Basically my day is made up of waking up in the morning and going job hunting. Then coming home and watching TV, playing computer games, Listen to music and just generally looking forward to going to sleep, but then having trouble going to sleep because thoughts of complete and utter lonliness running through my head.

 

I used to drink alot but went to see a councellor and felt better tempoarily. I'm trying not to get back into drinking again, but it's hard when you feel so down in the dumps and you've gotten nothing going for you. At least I know drinking made me fill up the void of lonliness, albeit only tempoarily.

 

I lay in bed and just think; "what happened to me? where did I go soo wrong?" But I only draw blanks. It hurts when you hear about other people going out on Saturday nights with their friends, or guys just staying over at their girlfriends place cuddling and having a movie night together with popcorn. I haven't ever done anything like that, and I'm turning 20 this month. Damn, just righting this in my pitch black room is bringing tears to my eyes. I have joined a gym here in my new town, makes me feel partially better, but I can't spend all day at the gym.

 

All I need is too know that well, I am liked, I am human. I need to connect with humans in a not such a superficial way. I have no one, and actually never had a close enough friend, to say this stuff that I'm typing to a bunch of strangers right now. I'm on anti depressants for about 9 months now but they don't help. Is there anyone else who's been in my position and got out of it and live a happy rich life filled with good friends and girlfriends? I'm at the end of the rope here, and don't know how much more longer I can go on feeling this lonley pain that takes a bigger part of me everyday.

[QTpie87]

hi,

 

yeah i have been in your position more then once and came out fine. first it was in Ut. then arizona, then back to Ut, then to las vegas, and back to Ut. and now i am in arizona again. and it isn't with one family either, that was with three different families. but i always come out fine, see 'cause now i have family and friends everywhere (well really just in those three places, but you get the drift, right?). i have 7 or 8 really good friends in Ut. i have 3 good friends in vegas, and i have 10 or so really good friends here in arizona right now, 3 or which i have know since the day i was born. it really sucks at first i think when moving to a new place, but the best thing you can do is get with the right people (nice people) and hang out. and all you have to do in order to do that, is get involved with something , like school, a job, a club, a sport, meet people at the mall... anything, and you can totally pm me anytime you want to talk about anything. hope you like it here, everyone here at the site is great.

love ya,

Qtpie87

[birdgirl]

Hey, I'll bet things will get better when you find a job. You'll meet people and stuff... and if you still have too much time on your hands, get another part-time job. Then you'll meet even more people. And you'll have lots of money so that when you make some friends, you can leave the second job and you'll be able to do fun stuff with them. And when you meet a girl, you can spoil her.

 

And maybe you can talk to people online? Make a LiveJournal, and find people in your area. I have met most of my real-life friends online in the last year.

[mamachuya]

hey i understand ur situation, i moved from california to georgia. man that was a culture shock to me. anyays i sisnt knwo anybody here and i had thoughts abotu suicide and all, but dont worry thigns will get better. i guaratee it! yea u will always face bumps in life but for real u will geta job and man it helps!! i met ppl there, it was ncie getting out of the house and doing something difrent for a change. then u gotta open up, and talk to people. dotn be shy like i was, i started beign strogn and bold and i got to meet ltos of ppl. many of which arent my friends btu thats ok cuz im picky lol and yea try link removed i met some ppl there, a few cool ones but it wa worth the shot. and yea dont worry anymore, yea its hard. i was really sad btu aftera few months i got back on my feet, and i know you will too i wish u the best of luck, and dont worry things will work out ur way! im surving livign in atlanta, georgia... red necks, bible belt, closed minded ppl, etc... all that good stuff.. nothing like SF, cali anyways luck hun!!