Meeting his fam, I'm feeling awkward

[limbo101]

My best friend is a guy, we text everyday, hang out as much as possible, etc, and extremely close in general. I've knew as just as an acquaintance years ago, but for a year now we've gotten closer than imagined. Anyway, dating has only come up once quite a while ago, and we pretty much decided not a good idea - I felt a little rejected but I was fine with it.

 

Since, just way closer as friends. He sends pretty mixed signals, we kiss good-bye on the mouth, but we both talk about other men/women, want we want in relationships, etc. He's a huge gentleman, takes me out all the time, ALWAYS there for me. Yes, the perfect package he is. But I figure our friendship being so strong just makes dating seem way too far out..I dunno.

 

The other night we had to stop at his dad's for something - I've met his dad a couple times before, but only briefly. Anyway, we were there for a good 2 hours this time...and here's dad asking me questions, trying to get to know me, you get it. His step mom kept looking at me and smiling. I didn't mind being there. But I felt like a girlfriend, and I'm not. Anyway, my friend thanked me for hanging around afterwards.

 

He plays in a very professional band. Last night - night before Thanksgiving...he invited me, I invited friends, but they all couldn't go. I had to go by myself which is no big deal for me. It's just harder to hang out with him while he's working. Anyway, I knew his brother and sister were coming. He kept texting that they were coming so I'd have people to hang out with. I was nervous about meeting them....because again, I'm not his girlfriend.

 

But I fit in right away, like a glove. Especially with his sister because she's my age and single. She said that she's heard soo many good things about me, etc. The brother was there with his GF. She was smiling at me and asking how I know Joe, blah blah blah. I TOTALLY felt like I was being sized up by his family! And come to find, he's been talking about me! I went to the bathroom at 1 point, and when I returned it really seemed like his sister had been talking about me - cuz they were talking lowly but stopped when I got there. His sister said I'm "just a doll!"...

 

And later my friend said that I am definitely "in the club". But how weird is that? Now i"m in a position to close with the fam, when I'm not even his girlfriend...is something else going on here?

[penelope13]

Why would it be strange if you are one of his best friends to know his family?

[Daligal83]

It's not the getting to know the family part that's weird for me, it's the kissing on the mouth goodbye. I know the families of a lot of my friends and am close with them. Plus it's typical for the family to size up a friend of the opposite sex. They don't know the nature of your friendship really.

 

Now the kissing on the mouth...that's weird to me. I definitely do NOT do that with my friends. It sounds like you still want something more from him, so have you thought about bringing it up again? I don't think it would affect the friendship since you've talked about it already and your friendship actually became stronger afterward.

[pinkelephant]

I think they might be rooting for you to be his girlfriend because they like you, but if he's not up for it.. i don't think he'll change his mind just because his family thinks you guys match. it might spark an idea for him, but that's all it'll be. i think you should get it all straighten out before you get deeper, because it really sounds like you want more and he doesn't!

[limbo101]

I don't necessarily know for sure, how I feel about "more", though I know that I care about him as much as he cares about me. Yes he's handsome and all around great, but that doesnt mean it's easy to picture it another way...I'm pretty happy with the way we are. Yes if he wanted it, I'd be willing to try. But I'm not feeling anxious to try, either. It is risky, you know.

 

Your right it's not uncommon for friends to get to know their families...I guess I just felt awkward because I knew what his family was thinking, oh this girl is great, why doesn't he go out with her? They know we are just friends. But apparently they were very excited to meet me..

 

I guess it just comes with the territory of a friendship like ours sometimes...that whole awkwardness thing when people think you are together.