Firiel Posted November 25, 2009 Share Posted November 25, 2009 ...and I'm 95% sure I shouldn't. I had a dream last night that I was star-gazing with a guy. In the dream, I basically rolled over so I was half laying on the guy's chest... so we were kind of cuddling. Anyway, I've had similar dreams, and I always remember halfway through that I'm in a relationship and then I awkwardly have to get myself out of the situation. So that's what happened in this one. I remembered my fiance, turned to tell him that I was engaged... and then (again, this is a dream) he suddenly kissed me. This is where the dream ended. Now, I hate having this type of dream. I wake up feeling lousy. No fun. But this dream was especially bad because the guy in it was a fairly close friend of mine. I've never had any feelings for this guy... but still... the dream was very unnerving. I've found myself feeling guilty about it all day. I feel like I need to confess even though I know there's nothing to confess. This guy lent me a guitar case so I can bring the guitar I bought for my fiance to him over Thanksgiving. And I thought of that today and felt thankful to him and was immediately overwhelmed with guilt for thinking positively about this guy which I know is weird. I guess this is more catharsis than anything else... I needed to "confess" and all of my friends know this guy. I don't want to tell my fiance because I feel that will just cause him needless pain and worry. Has anyone else ever had dreams like this? And does anyone else feel guilty over them? Link to comment
Miss Firecracker Posted November 25, 2009 Share Posted November 25, 2009 I've had dreams that would scare you to death, and I NEVER have felt guilt over a single one. Dreams are one thing I refuse to worry about. Link to comment
Christiana Posted November 25, 2009 Share Posted November 25, 2009 I have these dreams sometimes. sometimes, it's a friend,old bf,old crush or celebrity. I ALWAYS feel guilty after. but don't! everyone has them! (even your fiance') it's normal, it usually means that you either talked to them recently or admire or really like a trail of theirs. It's harmless. Don't confess! that would be awkward ;-) Link to comment
Lucius Posted November 25, 2009 Share Posted November 25, 2009 Yes, I have had dreams somewhat like this. And no, they didn't make me feel even remotely guilty. My mind is my own - what I think, dream, and feel is no-one's business but mine. Why feel guilty? Who controls their dreams? Loyalty lies in deeds, not in the random meanderings of our subconscious. Allow yourself to be free of mind and heart - you'll find that when you are, you can be even more devoted and committed in deed than ever you were when wallowing in guilt. Such dreams are natural. They're a sign of a creative, passionate, generative subconscious. Don't try to stifle them with anxiety - it does no-one any good. Link to comment
Firiel Posted November 25, 2009 Author Share Posted November 25, 2009 On some level I know I shouldn't feel guilty. But I have fairly lucid dreams, so sometimes it's hard for me to decipher between what I've consciously decided to do and what is just a bad reaction to dinner. Hearing other people have had similar dreams makes me feel better. It's just weird because of who it was and because I was conscious of my fiance while having the dream... Link to comment
Lucius Posted November 25, 2009 Share Posted November 25, 2009 On some level I know I shouldn't feel guilty. But I have fairly lucid dreams, so sometimes it's hard for me to decipher between what I've consciously decided to do and what is just a bad reaction to dinner. Hearing other people have had similar dreams makes me feel better. It's just weird because of who it was and because I was conscious of my fiance while having the dream... I could have the most lucid dream a dreamer ever dreamed ... it still wouldn't phase me. It's still just a dream. I will say this though: I'd refrain from chatting about it with others. If it gets back to your man it IS going to cause him some pain/doubt/insecurity - even though it shouldn't. While we can think and feel and dream anything we like, once we start talking about or acting on a thing we do need to practice great care and discretion - because the effects of those are tangible, and affect more than merely us. Link to comment
Sn0man Posted November 25, 2009 Share Posted November 25, 2009 Dreams convey messages by image which you interpret. They are not a reflection of the real world - only your subcouncious mind sorting through random events which you relate to. I think (IMO) the meaning is in the *feeling* you get from the dream in question, not the images or the scenario. Link to comment
MrWallFlower Posted November 25, 2009 Share Posted November 25, 2009 Sigmund Freud's theory is that dreams represent our fears or are wish fulfillment in nature. What you describe is clearly a fear. Even though you are cuddling with a guy in the dream (normally something good), it is tainted with the sudden realization that you are comitted to someone else (also good but in conflict with the cuddling). So, perhaps you fear that you are unintentionally hurting your partner? (I think that only you can interpret the dream). Link to comment
Firiel Posted November 25, 2009 Author Share Posted November 25, 2009 Sigmund Freud's theory is that dreams represent our fears or are wish fulfillment in nature. What you describe is clearly a fear. Even though you are cuddling with a guy in the dream (normally something good), it is tainted with the sudden realization that you are comitted to someone else (also good but in conflict with the cuddling). So, perhaps you fear that you are unintentionally hurting your partner? (I think that only you can interpret the dream). Oh, that's definitely it. He's been cheated on in the past and deserves so much better than someone that will be unfaithful to him. I've always been afraid of hurting him as badly as other girls have... But even though I know intellectually it's not a big deal... I know where the dream came from... I know the reason I dreamed it (about to see my fiance again, so excited to cuddle, the guy is a guy I see every day for class and had recently loaned me a guitar case which I was thankful for)... Even though I know all of that, I still feel like crud after having it. Blah. I guess it just needs a few days to get out of my system. Link to comment
GoneCrazy Posted November 28, 2009 Share Posted November 28, 2009 Dreams are just the mind playing games, some are ood others are bad and most are just confusing. I wont think to much of it. Link to comment
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