ex and i brokeup and after 1 week she hooked up with someone

[maninaredstealth]

alright heres the story. My ex and i were together 3 years. we were a great and unique couple that was madly in love. i am 22 and she is 20. well one problem was that we fought alot and she had very high insecurities and i had a jelousy problem. well we had prblems getting along through out the month of march. well i had a jelous our burst end of march and she said she needed a break to think. well half week later 1st week of april, she came over and said she wants to be with me but wants one more week to focus on our problems. normally she runs from problems. well that week later she came over crying telling me that that time alone gave her the time to think that she needs to focus on herself as a person and focus on her future. it hurt badly cause i never thought it would happen but it also wasnt a surprise cause she was depressed over her future for the past year. well the first week was hard and then i started to work on my self. on the flip there is this twerp at her work that has had a crush on her forever. he started calling her alot after we broke up. she is nieve to noticing when people are trying to move in on her. she thinks they are just being nice and a friend. last weekend of april her and her best friend and his family and her sister and his girl went to mexico. that sunday5/2/04 i went to a barbeque and was told by 2 old friends that she was hooking up with that twirp. this guy is not good looking at all and she stated that too so i didnt think it was true based on the source and that this guy has liked her forever. well 5/3/01 she came back and we met up. the first hour was wonderful, it was like we met again for the first time. she cryed afew times cause she missed me soo much, but what i heard was eatin at me so i had to ask. she then admitted that it was true. i was sooo crushed. turned out that a week after we broke up she was at a party, she was drunk and he kissed her. she felt horrible after for a week. this guy then continued to talk to her in her vulnerable state and she began to like his personality so they continued hooking up for a couple weeks. she said that she felt horrible and continued to talk about me but this guy helped her to not think of the hurt she was in. she said that she wasnt attracted to his looks but he made her laugh and took her mind off the negative. i know this guy was taking advantage of her vulneralbility. she has never been in anything serious and had no idea how to deal with the hurt. this guy jumped to that and she is blind to seeing it. well whats done is done and she said she felt horrible and still love me as much as before and likes this guy as only a friend and nothing else. she regreted it and does not like him in anyway but a friend. again i was crushed but forgave her. i know she was vulnerable and weak and didnt want to focus on the hurt so this guy made an easy way for her to not think about things. messed up i think. next day i hung out with her best friend and he told me all she did was talk about me in mexico how she wants to marry me down the road all that good stuff. she also told him also about this dude and how she is not attracted to him but he makes her laugh. well her best friend told her that she needs to get rid of him since she regrets it and she agreed. luckily all they did was kiss. she feels horrible about everything. i understand to an extent that we werent together and she didnt know what else to do but at the same time i felt it was too soon and she should have kept her guard up and what hurt the most was that it was more than afew times. whats done is done. well while i was with her best friend she called me crying telling me that she doesnt know why everyone thinks she is such a bad person for hooking up with this guy. she said that regardless we werent together and that she is going to take charge in the situation and tell him that she just likes him as a friend and does not want anyone. she then went off about how bad she feels toward me and knows that she has to have me in her future no matter what. i told her i am hurt now but i know she didnt mean to do anything intentionally. things that people dont expect happen unexpectedly sometimes. well, last night i made a decision that i need time to heal from the break up and this new news. she is a good clean girl and i never would have thought she would do this but i do know that she has been messed up in the head with all this. the decision i made and i told her this morning is to not talk to her anymore and for her to start working on herself and quit running away from the fears and saddness. i told her it helps to think of things so it can be fixed for us or just realizing things. she understood but was crying alot, i also said to please follow through with what she said that she was going to set this guy strait. that way i wont hurt anymore. i am going to focus on me and move on but if sometime down the road we do talk again then we will sort things out then. ill miss her but i need time to heal and she does too and to focus on our selves.

 

sorry this was soo long but i wanted to let you know of all the details cause i really need some feed back on the situation, if what she did was not that big of a deal and if i handled things right. please give me any advice on this and feed back..

 

drew

[kuhl282000]

Hello

 

Sounds to me you are putting it all together. It does sound like you both needed some space to sort things out. Some people can hook up after a break-up in an hour. Some it may take years. You are both very young, and will more than likely have many loves in your future. I think you are making a smart move by moving down the road. Time will tell what happens between the both of you.

 

Good Luck

 

Kuhl

 

8)

[maninaredstealth]

i have talked to alot of people and afew counlors and they have all kinda agreed with what i wrote but it still hurts and i still felt it was soon. i know we are young but there is something about her that i know i want to be with her in my future. she has said the same. we have so close personal connections that i dont think anyone can fill.

 

drew

[maninaredstealth]

i just read the article " no contact rule worked sort of". this dudes ex called back 3 months later and now he wants nothing to do with her cause she was in a 2 month relationthip with someone else. well in comparison to my situation. should i take my ex back in the future? although it was not as bad as his situation. what if my ex met someone else and had a relationship. we all move on at a point dont we and then start things over especially if we are younger. dont ya think. i dont know. read my above article and let me know please....

 

drew

[ConfusedBloke]

well, it's good advice to move on, but you're obviously pretty cut up about her kissing some other guy, so if you do move on, then you will have to accept that the next guy and her would likely do more. So you need to mentally decide if you can handle that if you ever were to get back together.

[vckyjam]

It sounds like your doing the right thing! Im very good a dishing out advice but sometimes taken it is hard, even tho it hurts. But you tend to find that people on the outside can see clearer of that on the inside. One thing i do know is that you have to love yourself first! And when you love yourself other people will love you too. You need to get strong easy said i know. Once you get in that frame of mind then things will fall into place. Trust me