acheiving female orgasm????????? How do you know for sure???

[Orange123]

OK, well, I have been with my boyfriend for over 8 years and we have great sex. He has an orgasm just about every time. I have thought in the past that I have had one, but I'm not sure. I really don't think I have. I think I've come close to having one, but ....... It sucks being a girl sometimes. Anyway, Every once in a great while, and I do mean very rarely, I have, what I think is an orgasm in my sleep. I guess it would be the same thing as a guys "wet dream." When this does happen, I am usually having a sex dream and I wake myself up and... well, my clitoris is, well, kinda pulsing, and it feels really nice. So I guess this is an orgasm, right? The only thing is, how can I get this to happen during sex? When it happens during my dream, it so rarely happens that it isn't gratifying, and it can never be as gratifying as having one with the one you love. It must totally be a mental thing, otherwise, how else could I achieve one while I am asleep, with no stimulation? I hate not being able to. I often think I am broke, and just one of the unlucky girls that will never have one, or a real one anyway, during sex. . I have even found myself feeling jealous of my boyfriend because he KNOWS when he has one, and he has one all of the time. He can even give himself one. I have tried that as well, because he always tells me that he can't really know how to give me one if I don't. We have tried many times until we are both sore, and we have tried different things, even vibrators, which arn't as appealing as they sound. And it just ends up the same way. Can anyone help me? should I think about getting hypnotized to let my mind relax so that I can have one(half joking ). Or am I doomed to NEVER have one and just be sexually frustrated forever? So anyway, any help would be GREATLY appreciated.

 

thanks

[JonnyG]

Well, if u can't make urself hav an orgasm when masterbating, then it could b harder for him to achieve it.

 

What r u doing in the dream? Hav u tried living out what u do in those dreams? It sounds like a case of just keep on experimenting, trying new things.

[wellswomyn]

i agree that you should keep trying to have one on your own. i don't know of any woman who can have an orgasm with a partner but not on her own, whereas i know several women who can only have them alone.

 

maybe the vibrator you tried was the wrong kind for you. i am a firm believer in a variable speed (which gets progressively more intense as you turn it up, as opposed to 1 or 2 set speeds) and use LOTS of lube. KY jelly works okay which you can get in most stores, but i prefer the stuff you can only get from sex stores, such as 'WET'. Do it alone, lights some candles, send your boyfriend away for the night. take your time, and if it doesn't happen, just try it again another night. and another night.