this girl

[Shady2003]

A couple of weeks back I saw a girl who looked really pretty,etc.

I got hold of her number and started to text her. In the first message I told her where I saw her, and told her i thought she was attractive.

 

We carried on texting each other for a few days. I eventually received a message which said she spent the afternoon at her boyfriend. In that SAME message, she said she would like to meet me because I seem to be a really nice guy. I then asked her how long she had been with him for.

She replied and said 3 months, and also asked if I have a girlfriend.

 

I told her I recently broke up and said we can meet this saturday night. She said that sounds great.

 

My question is, why would she meet some guy,who shes hasnt seen before,who said she's attractive when she has a BF?

 

Also should I meet her with some friends and her friends or just us? Is she techinically asking for a date?

[Rage]

My question is; how did you get her number if you never met her?????!

[Blue_Soul]

Poor guy. Basically, this girl wants to have her cake and eat it too. She will victimize you by making you the 'nice guy' that she can unload her problems on while depriving you of anything else. Think about the following:

 

1) Do you really want to be put in this position? She will use you becuase you're nice and not a threat to her.

 

2) Put your self in her boyfriend's shoes. What if you were dating this girl and she's making dates with other guys for Saturday night? Wouldn't you find that a little infuriating?

 

Girls do this because they think they can. Don't stand for it! You don't have to change and not be nice but you absolutely can not let yourself be used like that. Save your time and effort for a girl that actually deserves it!

[peppermintsue]

Not all girls are likely to use a guy to unload their problems, thats what thier best friends, and in some cases, thier moms are for. This girl might actually be in a relationship where she is not happy, and she is trying to meet other ppl without this boyfriend knowing. She may just enjoy the possibility that there can be attraction without seeing the person first, and she does want to get to know you. The last idea I have is that she may have used the 'boyfriend' routine. She wanted to see if you would still meet her even if she had a bf and/or she uses it to protect herself. There could be many reasons for what she says, the only way you will really find out is if you go and meet her. There really isn't anything to lose right?

[dave1977]

I am one of those guys tagged with the "nice" thing. It is good for meeting and talking to people, but it sucks if you want to have a relationship. Girls want to talk to nice guys, then go make out with the "tough guy". Once a girl starts calling you nice you are usually screwed and only get your heart broke. You will meet her and she will like you. You will get attached and she will just want to be your friend.

 

Also, be careful seeing a girl with a boyfriend. Wouldn't you be pissed if you were dating a girl and found that she was seeing someone on the side that you knew nothing about. You don't want to be that guy. If she is done with him and wants to meet you, make her get rid of him first. You don't want a girl that can't decide which guy she wants to be with. Before you know it you'll end up on the Jerry Springer show telling her to make up her mind while exchanging blows with the other guy, and then find out she also has a girlfriend.

[Blue_Soul]

"My question is, why would she meet some guy,who shes hasnt seen before,who said she's attractive when she has a BF?"

 

Precisely. I'm just saying look out. The thing that bothers me the most about this scenario is that she essentially asked you out after she just told you she had a boyfriend. It would be one thing if she proposed a group activity, like a party or a concert. Did she so that? That's different. If she suggested a one on one meeting while she's in a commited relationship, that's not kosher, imo. I wouldn't do it to a girl I was dating.

[Amethyst]

In all honesty, I see nothing wrong with what she is doing. I think you (and many of the respondents) are reading WAY too much into this. She has NOT asked you for a date or expressed any interest other than as a FRIEND. I don't see her as trying to use you or anything else. (If she wanted to use you, she'd hide the fact she has a boyfriend.) I see her as wanting to be friends with a guy other than her boyfriend...nothing wrong with that at all.

[GimmeASpork]

I agree with Amethyst in that there's nothing wrong with girls wanting to make friends with males other than their boyfriends. But he has clearly told her that he finds her attractive, making it clear that his intentions are other than friendly and she knows this. She still wants to meet him though, so I don't know, it sounds like she wants to play around or something. And like Blue_Soul said, if she wanted to just include him as a friend, then she would've suggested he hang out with her and her friends.

[Massari]

Shady2003

This whole situation may seem very nice at first or not ...I don't know.. but this quote says it all

"My question is, why would she meet some guy,who shes hasnt seen before,who said she's attractive when she has a BF?"

 

can you figure out the answer to that.. cause I don't.. i just want to put my self in he biyfriends positions.... MAN I would be pissed..

my advice as the female in the replys mentioned is .. go meet her.. but don't act too fast.. the female replyer mentioned that she might be in an unhappy relationship .. an if that is the way the "the girl that you meet" tries to solve that problem "meeting random nice guys" and not discussing the problem with her boyfriend .careful.. she might do that to you some day.. I am not rying to be negative.. but don't let being a nice guy break your heart.. as it did for me in the past..

 

peace

[Shady2003]

Thank you to you all for posting. You've given me some good ideas/advice. I have continued this topic on

 

link removed

 

with a correction and my own thoughts