The ex doesn't contact me anymore..

[Something funny]

I DID however ask her to give me more time to get things straight. Now a month has passed since she last contacted me, and I feel stronger than I did back then. Should I contact her, or wait even more? Someone here suggested I send a simple card to let her know that the door is open, could that be a good idea?

[MrKawabata]

Hi Something funny,

 

Do you feel ready to contact her? If you do feel ready, then try contacting her. If not, then take more of a time out.

 

Cheers,

Mr K.

[Something funny]

I think I am, but it's so hard to tell. I still have good and bad days.

 

I'd like to call, but maybe that'd be too pushy (naturally depending on what I say). Or maybe a card, but that feels so intangible. Somehow, I don't think she expects me to call, and that's why I'd like to do that. But am I ready? I don't really know.. now I'm just rambling.

[MrKawabata]

Hi Something funny,

 

I get the impression you may still be emotionally stirred up. I'd wait a little longer. See how you feel over the next few days. No real need to rush things if there is the potential to cause yourself more hurt.

 

Cheers,

Mr K.

[kuhl282000]

Hello

 

Cards are always great. Or maybe even a letter. Either way it gives you something you know you were able to say without having to have an immediate response. And sometimes that can make all the difference.

Maybe even some flowers along with the card.

 

Good Luck

 

Either

way

 

Kuhl

 

8)

[Hopingpraying]

SF,

 

The way you can tell if you a ready is think of the worst possible outcome if you call her and ask yourself how you will feel if that happens.

 

If you call her and she is a total B**ch to you and you can honestly say to yourself you can deal with that and it will just give you closure then I say go for it. If you run that scenario through your head and it gives you a tight feeling in your chest then wait. Wait until you can accept the good or bad that comes out of that contact. Too me that tells me when you are ready.

I do hope you get a good result. I know how bad that can hurt.

[Something funny]

Well I should wait a bit more then. A month ago I wouldn't have been able to handle rejection at ALL. I would have crawled up in a corner and died. Now I know I can handle it, but I'm still really worried about it. Some more time will probably make me feel more confident. At least I'm making progress!

 

And flowers? What kind of flowers then? Red roses would be a big no-no, WAY too obvious.

[Stingseed]

sf I know what you are going throught right at this moment. I was there not to long ago. By the way you are sounding I would wait a bit more say another 2 weeks. This is a delicate situation and remember you must really make sure that you will be able to take anything that comes out of her mouth the good and the bad. Like I said I went through it myself not to long ago. Over a period of about 2 months I did not call her but I did answer some of her calls and only till just recently I picked up the phone and called her. Now at that point I seriously thought I was in control of my emotions and would not faulter but believe me it was much harder than I thought. I almost did faulter but did not (thank goodness) I maintained and had a positive conversation that I was in control of. Just watch your step SF

 

remember it is the first call that is hardest. Hope this helps..

[Something funny]

Right, I'll wait a couple more weeks.

 

And by the way, I HATE having mutual friends. I've posted about it before, but we have this mutual friend who's always acting discouraging about us getting back together. Now, in any normal scenario, I should probably believe her, but I know for a fact that she doesn't WANT us to get back together, even if she won't admit it (it's a complicated story). Also, I just want to disconnect myself from the ex for some time, and having mutual friends means that I can't avoid hearing about her and stuff all the time, even though I've told my friends that I don't want to hear anything.

 

But anyway, a couple more weeks should do the trick. I'm going to Paris to party with an old friend in a week or so; that should cheer me up somewhat.

[kate111]

I don't think a card or letter would be good unless this was your usual mode of communication.

 

Letters and cards signal stalker to me.

 

I would just call or text and make light conversation. Nothing too heavy, just a gentle reminder.