Is the ball in her court?

[Cyclic]

So I asked out this girl I didn't know, we exchanged phone numbers, when I called I got the old "not looking to date right now" line, but friendship was implied. Friendship is fine with me so I said hey lets do what we were going to do as friends. Sure she says. The day of though she has other plans and blows me off. That's fine, but at this point I'm obviously thinking the friendship offer was bogus, right? I shouldn't try contacting her anymore as then I'd just be the guy that doesn't get the hint, right?

[thebluest]

Good on you for being open to friendship! What was the event you invited her to? Perhaps it just didn't interest or suit her tastes?

[Casey13]

I'd consider her a write off. Don't waste your time on her because at best you'll end up that guy who she calls when she has nothing better to do just to hang out. Forget her

[Chris Knows]

Put the ball in her court.

 

I was in similar situation two weeks back.

 

Got her number. Called a few days later. Kind of got blown off. She called a few days later and it's been pretty good thus far.

[Cyclic]

Good on you for being open to friendship! What was the event you invited her to? Perhaps it just didn't interest or suit her tastes?

 

Possibly, but actually it was right up her ally, and she seemed really interested in it. It's closed now so it's no longer possible. I'd be open to doing something else, but we don't really know each other and we don't know what the other's interests are. Either way I don't want to call up and invite her yet again to something I like to do if she really just wants me to go away...

 

I'd consider her a write off. Don't waste your time on her because at best you'll end up that guy who she calls when she has nothing better to do just to hang out. Forget her

 

Actually I'm fine with that... That's the point, I asked her out because she seemed like a cool person, so if she just wants to be friends I'm actually fine with that. Besides, I can always use more drinking buddies...

[Cyclic]

Put the ball in her court.

 

I was in similar situation two weeks back.

 

Got her number. Called a few days later. Kind of got blown off. She called a few days later and it's been pretty good thus far.

 

Okay, cool. That's what I thought. I know I have a tendency to be pretty literal. So when she said "I don't want to date" but implied friendship I took that literally and was fine with that. The second blow-off doesn't bother me at all, but like I said, I'm pretty literal and don't want to be the idiot/creepy guy that just never takes a hint.

[thebluest]

If you've made up your mind I won't try to swing you around. But if I put myself in that girl's shoes and think of reasons why I might say I was busy when I wasn't - it's normally either the event doesn't interest me, or the person isn't someone I find interesting enough to want to hang out more with. If you felt like you put your best food forward and she didn't take a nibble then it's her loss. But most of the time, I find it's because the gentleman didn't really show much of a personality that interested me, and sadly because they never try again I never have the chance to.

[Cyclic]

If you've made up your mind I won't try to swing you around. But if I put myself in that girl's shoes and think of reasons why I might say I was busy when I wasn't - it's normally either the event doesn't interest me, or the person isn't someone I find interesting enough to want to hang out more with. If you felt like you put your best food forward and she didn't take a nibble then it's her loss. But most of the time, I find it's because the gentleman didn't really show much of a personality that interested me, and sadly because they never try again I never have the chance to.

 

So are you saying that you think I should continue to invite her to random group things that I do regardless? That wouldn't be "creepy"? I've invited her to something, should I not expect her to offer something if she really wanted to be friends?

[thebluest]

I wouldn't say it's creepy, but I'm me and who knows what she's thinking! I think it'd be forward to ask her to something again, and I don't think that's a good thing considering that she appears hesitant about getting to know you. I guess the best way of being friends with someone is showing them that you're a great guy who'd make a great friend, which I guess sounds obvious, but that comes down to being someone interesting to her. If that didn't come accross when you met her, and she's not giving you any other opportunities to (something informal without pressure like chatting online) then you're just unlucky and it's her loss that she didn't take the chance to find out more. I'm willing to bet that you're a very engaging and interesting person, and it's a matter of time before a really good fish bites.