Shy Guy in My Class

[dolcedolore]

There is this shy guy in one of my classes who I found absolutely adorable. I know that most guys don't like the term, but I can't think of another word!

 

It's a language class and we all have to speak at times. The other day our teacher randomly asked him if everything was clear or not. It was a very abrupt question, and he answered with one sort of smart-a$$ word. It was just so incredibly funny. He doesn't speak much, but then when comments like that come out, I just want to know him so badly.

 

I am a very perceptive person and I like observing people, so I tend to stare a bit more than I should. I look in his direction more than usual though, and every time I do, he looks up at the ceiling. I have no idea whether or not he's attracted to me (haven't had enough contact), but I wish I could do something! I'm not a very shy person and I would definitely approach him if the setting was right. He's only gone to one extracurricular activity this year (as far as I know), and I could kick myself for not talking to him. There were a few times when it would have been great to start a conversation, but I just kept getting distracted. Now I don't know if I'll ever have another chance. In class, I have several girl friends that I'm always talking to before, during, and after class. He always leaves quickly....

[taxi10]

You have the time and the means to approach him . Start with asking him questions about the class and what he likes the most, the rest will be easy. Good luck

[dolcedolore]

Well, the actual conversation would be fine, and I don't have a problem with that. I'm not afraid to approach him either. It's just... I don't know how to do that in a non-awkward way! Like I said, I'm surrounded by friends the entire time, he sits accross the room (it's a class with only about 12 people), he shows up after I do, and he leaves quickly. Any suggestions?

[LightbulbSun]

I agree. If I was that guy, and I privately liked you, I'd want to be approached...but slowly. Start by saying "Hi" and "My name is...", and ask him questions about the class. If he likes you, he'll want to spend time with you, so he'll gradually open up after a while (the first time will probably be extremely awkward, just going by how I'd handle it.)

[taxi10]

I was in spanish classes and this girl kept smiling at me all the time. I tried to catch her on the way out but never succeeded. Don't waste your time - try to get a chair next to him or look at his direction, give him some hints that you're interested in him.

[Cyclic]

It's always awkward. Just do it. If they hesitate and the conversation kind of dies down make a joke out of it: "Oh gee, this is awkward isn't it! Anyways want to go get some coffee with me..." Sort of thing... Frankly I've come to like the awkwardness. It's usually the only funny thing I remember about the whole thing after being blown off later...

[CBG]

Sit next to him one day. You can take one day off from your group of friends.

[dolcedolore]

I like some of these ideas, and taxi10, you're right about not letting it pass me by. I just wish he came to some of the extracurricular stuff! I'm almost always there and that would be a much better place for conversation...

 

Sitting next to him would be extremely weird. We all sit in the same places and have all semester (remember, it's only about 12 of us, and sometimes not everyone shows up). Also, one of my friends would literally say "what the crap?!" if I sat away from her, lol. There is one alternative though. Every Mon/Fri we either talk about what we have done or what we will be doing in small groups. Our professor does tell us to go find a new group, but I never really do. I could go over and talk with him possibly. It's embarrassing because he's much better in the class (he's studied abroad, I haven't yet) and my speaking skills are not the best, but I'll just have to swallow that. It just probably wouldn't lead to much of anything. Well, if I sit with him on a Monday... I could ask if he's going to the extracurricular stuff that night, and be pretty persistent when he says he's not... that could work. If he decides to show up on Monday. Hm.

 

I guess I could try kinda smiling at him from accross the room. I already stare at him too much just because, but like I said, he's always staring at the ceiling or looking in a completely other direction. I think my staring makes him uncomfortable... for all I know, he could be involved with someone.

[CBG]

You don't have to necessarily sit right next to him...but you could sit close enough, even with your group, that you could get his attention right after class before he leaves. There are a million ways to do it. They are all at least a little bit awkward. Just decide on one and go through with it.