How do you tell a friend you love them?

[Eh Im Canadian]

I have often asked myself, "how do you know if you love someone?". I have received many answers, all varying, from, "you just know", to certain lists that usually apply. There is this girl at my school, who I can confide in completely. She is very trustworthy, and always helps me solve my problems, just as I help her. We study together all of the time, and overall we are pretty good friends. I guess I kind of just got that "you just know" feeling the other day. We have known each other for about 3 or 4 years, and I was just wondering, how do I tell her that I love her. It isn't really in a romantic way, just more of the kind of bond you get with a lifelong friend, or family memeber. It is kind of funny, how hard it is to tell someone that you truly love them. You actually have to think in advance about it, because it is something you and them will remember for years to come. Thanks everybody.

[Garnz]

I'm pretty sure what you mean is you love this girl, but only as a really close friend. One way to tell her would be to say to her exactly what you said in your post, don't name her as being the friend you're talking about, if you feel that she understands how you feel, you should be able to tell her that she is the one you're talking about.

 

If you love her in the sense of you want to ask her out, i can't really give you any advice other than if you do, it may end your friendship if she doesn't feel the same way.

 

 

Best of luck

Garnz

[CrazyKing]

If you're really sure that she likes ya, then go on, say it nicely when you alone with her...

 

If you haven't a really close friendship, then it's gotta be hard, cuz I always receive the answer: "Let's just be friends..." - that can damage a friendship...

[TheMisfit]

hey man,

i almost am in the same situation as u, xcept i wanna b more than good friends, but i like you; dont wanna ruin that friendship.

i cant offer much advice, but perhaps like Garnz said...do it in-directly. other wise do it in a very casual mannor.

im lost so....

well..

 

good luck...

[berkvis]

Hey all,

 

Looks like theres a lot of us in the same boat...............

 

I'm not sure on what the answer is to be honest, but I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and I think you have to ask yourself what it is you want once you've told them how you feel.

 

From advice I've been given by friends, it's a dead cert that the friendship will suffer if they say no............and this is what stops most people from saying what needs to be said. But you have to ask yourself, isn't the friendship suffering already???

 

I'm seeing the girl I like tomorrow and plan to tell her then. I guess it's down to the big man upstairs on whether it is meant to be or not.....

 

I wish you all luck and strength in making and carrying out your decisions.

 

Best wishes.

[Eh Im Canadian]

Just out of curiosity, how are all of our friendships suffering? I mean, right now we all have pretty good friends, so why would it be suffering? That was the only part of berkvis' post I didn't understand.

[Garnz]

I'm just gonna try and clarify what Eh? Im Canadian is trying to say, as best i can make out, so we can give him more advice and more specific advice.

 

He has this really great friend, who he confides in and has known for a while. He wants to confess to her that he feels very strongly about her, but only in the sense of friendship. Sort of the way two totally heterosexual guys who've known each other for ever and been through heaps, can honestly and innocently say to each other that they love them, without any other meaning that friendship.

 

The friendship is not suffering in any way at all, you just want to let her know how strongly you feel about your friendship, it really shouldn't make any difference to the friendship, except only make you closer friends.

 

That example may not happen all that often, we've all seen it in movies, but I think thats pretty close to what you mean, feel free to correct me if I'm way off.

 

All the best mate 8)

- Garnz

[Eh Im Canadian]

Yeah, I am pretty sure you got it, it is just hard to tell someone that. I mean, saying the words isn't very hard at all, I could do it any time, it is just making sure that they actually know you feel that way is what is hard. I mean, think of the problems if they misinterpret what you say? An awesome friendship would be broken, and that is never good. The other problem is timing and place. I can't say when any of her friends are around, because they might misinterpret it and that would be pretty bad as well. Also, you can't say it over AIM or e-mail, becuase that is just a bit too tacky. But, you can't just hold it in, because then you might never get your chance, because you keep postponing it. I am going to have to think on this for a very long time, and I will post what I discovered after I find it.Thank you all, you have been a tremendous help.